'High' Church.
America is the land of opportunity if you have a desire to establish your own church. No other country is so relaxed about ministries that amount to just the one true believer. They even have a tax system that is able to move with the speed of light to accommodate post-modern fashion in holy smoke and mirrors.
Thus within days of Indiana’s new religious freedom laws coming into effect, The First Church of Cannabis had successfully applied for non profit status allowing them to reclaim tax on donations.
The use of cannabis in Indiana is illegal for recreational or medicinal use – but Bill Levin the popular pastor of the First Church of Cannabis believes that the higher you get, the closer to God you will be, and thus after the obligatory hymns – ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’, and the hauntingly spiritual ‘White Rabbit’, the congregation will ceremonially roll the sacrament, and send it up in deeply inhaled smoke. Whereupon they will believe that they are the chosen ones, and have a mystical ability to divine right from wrong. Occasionally a worshipper may attempt to fly from the pulpit.
“Everybody has their different concept of religion. We use cannabis as a prayer sacrament,” said Levin. “There’s a lot of spirituality across America that’s being awoken, with cannabis as one of the axles in the wheel. There are various viewpoints in how it’s implemented, but it’s there.”
Rizla papers with the church’s tax exempt IRS number are being printed as we speak.
One joint, one drag, one people. Peace be with you all. Jah Rasta Tarafari.
- Moor Larkin
August 2, 2015 at 9:06 am -
Holy smoke!
- John Galt
August 2, 2015 at 9:11 am -
So how would this differ from the claims of Rastafarians the world over?
Just an excuse for American soap dodgers to puff the old wacky (not that there is anything wrong with that of course) and attempt to claim it is constitutionally protected freedom of religion.
- Moor Larkin
August 2, 2015 at 9:23 am -
* So how would this differ from the claims of Rastafarians the world over? *
No Emperors allowed. This is the land of the free.
Abyssinia.- John Galt
August 2, 2015 at 9:40 am -
Well, if you’re going to worship an emperor as a god then a dead one is probably the way to go.
- Moor Larkin
August 2, 2015 at 10:05 am -
Worshipping a live one is bound to lead to disappointment in the end…
- Moor Larkin
- John Galt
- Moor Larkin
- Mudplugger
August 2, 2015 at 9:15 am -
Sounds like Pastor Levin’s been over-sampling the spiritual spliff-stuff already – you get ‘spokes’ in a wheel, not axles.
- Moor Larkin
August 2, 2015 at 9:23 am -
He’s out on the rim of his own reality.
- Moor Larkin
- Ms Mildred
August 2, 2015 at 9:45 am -
A whole congregation spliffing in Gods name. How interesting. Drifting away on a surfeit of cannaboid godliness. Being lead into green pastures of cannabis plants. Restored by cannabis to a state of bliss. Their cup surely runneth over. They shall dwell in the house of cannabis forever. Amen. Funny old lot in Indianna. We are even funnier in UK having a chuckle demo for good old laughing gas to remain legal. Bonkers world.
- Moor Larkin
August 2, 2015 at 9:57 am -
He’s got the science on his side it seems.
“While Frankincense is the most popular psychoactive resin, it is by no means the only one. Numerous plant resins are commonly used – Myrrh…. etc.”
http://www.zamnesia.com/blog-does-incense-get-you-high-n387- Margaret Jervis
August 2, 2015 at 12:26 pm -
No wonder the Catholic Church is having a hard time in the smokefree times – Russian and Greek Orthodox have billows of (frank)incense in masses. No age restriction. Need for a new crackdown! (if that’s the right word)
- Margaret Jervis
- Moor Larkin
- Joe Public
August 2, 2015 at 10:14 am -
I sense a challange to Raccoonistas to construct an appropriate hymnal.
My contribution is “Smoke gets in your eyes”, possibly sung by a Smokey Robinson tribute artiste.
- Moor Larkin
August 2, 2015 at 10:35 am -
I’m praying for a rain in California
So the grapes can grow and they can make more wine
And I’m sitting in a honky in Chicago
With a broken heart and a woman on my mind.I’ll ask the man behind the bar for the jukebox
And the music takes me back to Tennessee
And when they ask who’s the fool in the corner, crying
I’ll say, little old wine drinker, me.- The Blocked Dwarf
August 2, 2015 at 10:45 am -
“Mine Eyes have seen the Glory and the Toking of The LORD
He is driving down the Freeway in an airconditioned Ford
He’s shooting up with mescaline
Because he’s slightly bored…”
- The Blocked Dwarf
- Ed P
August 2, 2015 at 11:47 am -
“Pass the coochie on the left hand side”, a song made bland by Musical Youth, who changed the original coochie (joint) to Duchy.
- Moor Larkin
August 2, 2015 at 11:49 am -
which way did the Port used to go?
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 2, 2015 at 12:02 pm -
- Joe Public
August 2, 2015 at 4:31 pm -
If the Bishop of Norwich doesn’t, the chances are the Rector of Stiffkey probably would have.
- Joe Public
- The Blocked Dwarf
- Moor Larkin
- Moor Larkin
- The Blocked Dwarf
August 2, 2015 at 10:56 am -
A Lite-up-urgy, dear friends, you are about to receive upon Buddy Bestbud, nicotine and the temptations of evening munchies.
- Ho Hum
August 2, 2015 at 11:11 am -
Their Sacred Animal is the skunk.
It weeds out the false believers, as well as confusing the sniffer dogs…
- Margaret Jervis
August 2, 2015 at 12:29 pm -
Whereas incense keeps away the health fascists.
- Margaret Jervis
- Carol42
August 2, 2015 at 5:49 pm -
Do you think if we start a church for smokers they will leave us alone, can’t see the difference smoking one plant or another?
- Margaret Jervis
August 2, 2015 at 6:19 pm -
Since a church would be a ‘public place’ either there would be no smoke, or no tax relief.
Smokeeasies?
- Carol42
August 2, 2015 at 6:36 pm -
I believe there are very nice ‘Smoking Sheds’ around but no idea how to locate one in my area.
- Carol42
- Margaret Jervis
- Alex
August 2, 2015 at 8:41 pm -
And so it came to pass, the church of Cheech & Chong.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }