In Waco, Texas, a widely advertised gathering of hundreds of armed Hell’s Angel style bikers to celebrate Memorial Day erupted into armed warfare as the choicest ‘Turf’ was fought over, and was policed by a handful of men. 22 Officers to be precise.
Topless waitresses at the local ‘Hooters’ restaurant, flashing their nipples, jostled for front row positions. The ensuing battle saw 9 dead and 170 arrested. Earlier estimates of ‘1,000 weapons’ have now been revised downwards to 320.
We have our own way of copying these events.
Just at the end of Hadrian’s Wall, that well known trouble spot, where a lone policeman could be overwhelmed by dangerous marauders, 30 policemen and half a dozen sharp shooters nervously gathered. Helicopters hovered overhead shinning their searchlights on a very British ‘turf’ war.
So very British – twice the number of policemen and no topless women, but we did manage some nipples. Only one dead and no arrests.
No, not another Raul Moat; 3 ruminating ruminants for pity’s sake.
The cow, nicknamed Bessie, was one of three that escaped from Rising Sun Country Park in North Tyneside on Sunday.
“…A thick flank of boys in blue manoeuvred at a brisket pace round the topside of the pasture from where they proceeded to chuck all they had at the marauding herd which was running hell for leather with no place to hide…”
England is such an animal loving isle that PETA, the animal rights organisation is petitioning the Landlords of ‘Ye Olde Fighting Cocks’ to be renamed Ye Olde Clever Cocks, in what they claim would be “in recognition of society’s growing compassion for animals and in celebration of intelligent, sensitive chickens”.
So, no surprise at the response to this latest episode of police ‘violence’ when apprehending escapees.
8,456 people are planning to attend a memorial service for Bessie the cow tomorrow – dressed in cow ‘onesies’. In fact, Bessie’s demise has created such a run on cow ‘onesies’ that Wallsend has run out – and they are desperately appealing for news of further supplies.
The funeral’s on Friday so stick the date in your dairy – Steer clear …