In which Shakespeare proves more accurate at predicting voting than MORI, ComRes, Populus, Ashcroft or any of the other professional pundits.
Was it really only yesterday that activists were telling us that ‘everyone must get out and vote’?
We did. Blimey, you truly don’t want to listen to the whining, vitriol and bile pouring out of ‘Comment is Free’ this morning – so I shan’t give you a link. Apparently they didn’t mean ‘Vote Tory’. They should have said so…
The BBC’s Nick Robinson said ‘It’s as if an electoral firing squad has taken out a generation of Labour politicians’.
Labour laughed when they wiped out the Tory vote in Scotland years ago, activists chanting ‘How does it feel, you bastards?’ at Conservative HQ. This morning they are finally getting the answer to their question. Even Gordon Brown’s ultra safe seat went to the SNP. The Twitteratti were quip to quip that at this rate there would be more Pandas than Labour MPs in Scotland – pray they have the same inability to breed.
Historically the party of trade unions, Labour is now the party of Islington hand-wringers, fashionable Luvvies and theatrical gestures. Only in that Westminster bubble could it have been thought the meeting with Russell Brand – or ‘Rusty Rockets’ as his narcissistic Twitterfeed has it – would persuade Joe and Mrs Average their future was better with Labour. Whoever cooked up the idea of sending Miliband sliding down the mountain of disaffected voters with his tablet of stone can only have been a closet Conservative – it was a master class in reducing the population to helpless laughter. The reality that the Twitter bubble might not be totally representative of the rest of the nation must slowly dawn on people who don’t get out of Westminster enough.
George Galloway, a brief 8 days ago, said: In my 8 parliamentary elections over the last 30 years, I fought dozens of opponents. But I’ve never fought one quite as poor as Naz Shah.
One of the earliest results to come in was that of ‘poor’ Naz Shah’s jubilant election as Labour MP for Bradford West. It didn’t take George long to blame his defeat on Zionist lackeys, craven Bankers, and racists – difficult to square that last with Naz Shah’s Muslim background….
Then this morning we had the icing on the cake – Miliband lost his Balls. Actually it was the icing and marzipan, for the man who couldn’t add up the nation’s finances also demanded a re-count, so we got to see him lose twice. VE Day, 70 years ago today would have been hard pushed to improve on the cheers of a grateful nation, spared a horrific future.
The unseated MP for Morley
Was resoundingly beaten and surely,
It’s an end to his brawls
For Mr Ed Balls
And a life as a Peer prematurely.
With Douglas Alexander also gone in the overnight bloodbath, Miliband has lost his Shadow Chancellor and his Foreign Secretary which proves how right he was to steal the Labour crown from his brother David; not even Gordon Brown, a man universally disliked and mistrusted, managed to wedge himself quite so comprehensively up the electoral nostril. Surely EdStone was doing it all for the sake of the nation? David might have fooled us again.
In the last election (2010) Nick Clegg was being talked up as the new Obama, the coming man; 5 years of power sharing and he only held onto Sheffield Hallam by the skin of his teeth, but despite diligently ensuring that there were not enough Lib-Dem MPs left standing to form a quorum to unseat him as leader – he has decided to step down anyway.
Ah, Nicky, Nicky,
If you can keep your seat when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
As has Nigel Farage. Dammit Thanet! There will be many who will say that since UKIP got 14% of the vote and only one seat, whilst the SNP with 4% have 56 that we should change the system. It may seem unfair to UKIP – but that same ‘unfair system’ was successfully managed by the SNP so looking to see how they did so rather than whinging about the system might be more productive.
Cameron has increased his vote share, that is first time this has happened in 60 years for an incumbent prime minister. A quite remarkable achievement for a Prime Minister who had no choice other than to bring in hugely unpopular ‘austerity’ measures.
It seems voters prefer ‘austerity’ to politicians squandering their children’s future earnings! Who’da’thunk’it?
Scotland has sent a message to Westminster that is loud and clear. They have voted overwhelmingly for an ‘anti-UK’ party but they don’t wish to be unhooked from the financial umbilical cord; basically they want a divorce but for us to support them indefinitely. Time for another referendum – this time for the English. Do we want to keep them in the Union?
1826 days until the next general election…