British Values. – The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on August 14, 2014

What are these ‘British values’ that Nicky Morgan thinks should be instilled in toddlers in an ‘age appropriate’ manner?

We have a varied assortment to consider today. “Challenging negative attitudes and stereotypes.”

And on your left we have your caring sharing ISIS, the Islamic group that you thought were busy beheading Christians in dusty deserts – not a bit of it! They are fund raising in Oxford Street. Meet them, greet them, hug an ISIS fighter – you will soon be cured of your negative attitude…

This is what we call a ‘diverse culture’ children.

Tommy! Your little friend’s Daddy is in prison in the US – so totally unfair, and British lawyers fought for 13 years to prevent him being extradited – and why not? After all, he was Egyptian and he came to England just because he was one of a group that opposed Sadat and one of them had killed Sadat – can you imagine? Terrible. Anyway, the British tax payers got together and put their hands in their pockets to support some very eminent lawyers for 13 long years to try to stop those nasty Americans getting their hands on him just because, well just because he sent press releases out claiming that Al-Queda was behind the Nairobi bombings – how could anybody think he was a terrorist? He’s just like Abu Qatada, he read books, and the Guardian and everything – a fine Briton that we should be proud of.

Anyway Tommy, your friend’s Mother had a terrible time after that. Sure, the British taxpayers gave her a fine house in Maida Vale to live in, and we paid the rent and everything – just as well – it would have cost over a million pounds to buy that house, I’m told – but the Guardian’s Foreign editor was soon on the case, writing books about how traumatised Mummy Ragaa was after the police put her and her five children in a hotel just because they wanted to search her house…

Ragaa, hurriedly putting on her black hijab and abaya, was told to get into a bus with her five children, one of whom was a small baby. They were taken to a hotel where they stayed in their room for three or four days, without any information about why they were there, or how long it would be. She did not know how to phone her family in Egypt, and felt desperate and alone.

Still, they were soon back home again, and the five little children thrived – the BBC did their best to help, publicising little Abdel-Majed seminal rapping masterpiece ‘Keeping them Kaffirs Living in fear’ on BBC1.

article-2576695-1C25716B00000578-958_634x355 It wasn’t long before little Abdel-Majed became disillusioned with life in affluent London courtesy of the tax payer, so he took his iPad and his iPhone and his mate Abu Hussein – and his four AK47s and a 7mm gun off to sunny Syria which was a big mistake, because those nasty terrorists aren’t like good British people – and they stole the lot!

Now Abdel-Majed is famous, and his brothers and sisters can turn on their iPads and iPhones and see his Twitter message –“Chilllin’ with my homie or what’s left of him”.

That’s Abdel-Majed – the one holding the severed head on your Twitter feed yesterday. He’ll be back home soon – he tweeted “The lions are coming for you filthy kuffs [infidels] . . . beheadings in your own backyard soon. ”He also posted a photograph of other severed heads displayed on railings in the square with the caption: “It’s beautiful when you see Allah’s law’s implemented”.

He’ll be back home with his traumatised brothers and sisters in leafy Maida Vale, reading the Guardian, living in a million pound council house, all paid for by the British people.

British values are really something to aspire to, aren’t they children?

So you grow up and pay your taxes like good little people – it’s your moral duty.

Somebody is crazy round here – now where did I put that envelope – I have to pay my British taxes today.

Oh, it gets better! I’m speechless now….http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/08/13/BBC-Tries-To-Interview-Jihadi-About-Jumanji

{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }

Moor Larkin August 14, 2014 at 10:26 am

I sort of knew a guy who went to the old Yugoslavia and joined up with one of the military outfits out there back when Tony Baloney was saving the planet. I’d worked at the same place as him and he left suddenly, which wasn’t so unusual at that place. A month or two later he was on the News, having been captured by one of the other sides… serb, bosnian, croat… no idea now. At the time we all thought this was utterly hilarious. He was a bit of a Walter Mitty type character. This must have been way back in the 1990’s (obviously). I guess nowadays he’d have his own website ‘n’ everyfink.

I also recall being completely bemused by a Radio 5 report when the Egyptian Arab Spring thing was taking off and the BBC was interviewing some Britisher who had flown back from Egypt that day….. and he was recounting his eye-witness exploits to the reporter. The really weird part was when he excitedly said he’d be “back on the Square” after the weekend as he already had his flight booked. It was like some kind of Club 18-30 for the 21st Century. Westworld become reality but with an unexpected twist. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcL3eP0Hfy4

Chris August 14, 2014 at 10:31 am

Aww ur been negative on A-level results day. U bad. ‘Shame on you, Anna Raccoon’

Today British Values will no doubt give us more ‘record achievement’ from a spoonfed generation of big kids who don’t – and probably never will – know their arses from their heavily-tattooed arses. Rejoice, people, rejoice.

Chris August 14, 2014 at 10:32 am: ..or heavily-tattooed elbows even.
Or perhaps there is no difference anyway.

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JimmyGiro August 14, 2014 at 1:47 pm: If I were the religious kind, which thank the Lord I’m not sir, the kind of religious man I would be would be one that thinks that tattoos are the mark of the Beast.

Have you noticed the high prevalence of asymmetry by the tattooed; especially the fact that most tattoo their left side predominantly?

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Robert the Biker August 14, 2014 at 10:57 am

Simples; Put bounty on him and all the other identifiable pieces of raghead shit, any takers, no questions asked! 10 grand would be a fortune in some of those pestilential shitholes and there’d be no bag limit, perhaps even a bonus for every ten. Oh, and to conclude the mirth, the bounty holds for ever, in country or out, in preison or out, FOR EVER.
Still want to play with the big boys monkey-man?

Moor Larkin August 14, 2014 at 11:11 am

This Contract between me and you persuing witnesseth in the name of God — Amen and so forth.
(One) That me and you will settle this matter together: i.e., to be Kings of Kafiristan.
(Two) That you and me will not while this matter is being settled, look at any Liquor, nor any Woman black, white or brown, so as to get mixed up with one or the other harmful.
(Three) That we conduct ourselves with Dignity and Discretion, and if one of us gets into trouble the other will stay by him.
Signed by you and me this day.
Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan. Daniel Dravot. Both Gentlemen at Large.
http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext05/8king10h.htm
The Man Who Would be King by Rudyard Kipling

Robert the Biker August 14, 2014 at 12:13 pm: Well ok, but bags I first shot at that little bastard.

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Furor Teutonicus August 14, 2014 at 12:31 pm

XX 10 grand would be a fortune in some of those pestilential shitholes XX

I do not know. They seem to have no problem obtaining similar sums to pay “Guides” to get them illegaly over our borders. (Both U.S and Europe.)

Robert the Biker August 14, 2014 at 12:49 pm: I believe they have to save up for a while to pay the guides, or else put themselves into servitude in the new country to pay back the ‘loan’
Anyways, I bet they’d find it easier to pot a few shitheads in the neighbourhood; be able to live well at home then!

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Duncan Disorderly August 14, 2014 at 11:30 am

To be fair, we came close to sending British troops to fight on the same side as these fine gentlemen.

Moor Larkin August 14, 2014 at 12:03 pm

From your “writing books” link: “Eventually Adel left for the US, and then later the UK. He had finished his degree in prison and was soon a well-known human-rights lawyer. ” ….. as well-known as Keir Starmer perhaps?…..

JuliaM August 14, 2014 at 12:31 pm

/applause

JuliaM August 14, 2014 at 12:33 pm

Meanwhile, in the ‘Guardian’, get out your hankies for the two poor innocents who were so cruelly duped into ‘supporting terrorism’ by their no-good husband and best friend, respectively.

Mudplugger August 14, 2014 at 5:25 pm

But on the positive side, imagine some stimulated chap furtling beneath her knicker-elastic and finding, not only the expected source of exquisite pleasure, but a bonus-pot of €20,000 to boot – only discovering that her father owned a pub would complete the hat-trick of mythical delights – of such events are many man-dreams made.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm

“Furtling”?

Is that like “furtive fumbling?”

I do love hybrid miscegenation as the linguists say.

Mudplugger August 14, 2014 at 9:38 pm

If you’ve never furtled, you’ve never lived.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 9:48 pm: I might have been furtled, though.

Let me think back …. (it’s been a long time).

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Gil August 14, 2014 at 12:41 pm

It looks like a cross between a gang and a cult. Surely nothing “harder” than claiming you’re willing to die or can kill with impunity. Propaganda through mindless digital communication, which also seems to be great for deadening empathy.

Your article is very informative and thought-provoking. Hopefully more journalists out there will be capable of doing the same.

Robert Edwards August 14, 2014 at 2:26 pm

I have it on good authority (a Christian Lebanese chum of mine) who sat out the horrors of the civil war (even doing business on the ‘phone from beneath his kitchen table) that it was not unknown for ‘tourists’ to arrive, be given a sniper rifle, and invited to shoot people as they wished from a high window in some apartment block or other. “Where they found them”, (he said) “I don’t know, but I can imagine…”

Robert the Biker August 14, 2014 at 2:45 pm: Hmmmm……
I am forced to admit that the opportunity to pay back some of the islamic scum in their own coin might have a certain appeal:
“Hey Abdul, lets go over and rape a few kuffir kids”
“OK, hey, has that hairy English nutter gone home yet”
“Not sure, where was he last?”
“Just over *BANG*, *THUD*”

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GD August 14, 2014 at 2:58 pm

I think that if people must fight at all, they have a right to fight on the side that they actually believe in, and, surprisingly enough, that is not necessarily going to be the British side. In fact, in my own case I cannot conceive of a situation in which it ever would be.

I guess I know too much about what goes on behind the scenes to even be able to “feel it”?

I find the place cold, frightening and repulsive…and “British Values” are a convenient crock of sh*t applied, or not, to suit whoever has the greatest power over any situation and then claimed to have been applied, with hindsight regardless. My head can never play along.

I recently wound up doing some research (at a tangent to trying to identify a remarkable artist) into Ireland’s part in the Spanish Civil War. Men joined both sides in a way you might not expect. Irish Republicanism and Catholicism are always seen as synonymous, but the Spanish Civil war was where they diverged. The Catholic Republicans, sometimes exhorted by the church joined that Fascists, the secular Republicans joined the communists, and back home family and friends brawled in pubs and called them nasty names over it.

They were ordinary lads who got drunk on a Saturday night and sang rebel songs in the pub, some of them never came home. It is arguable whether either side in the Spanish civil war was worth dying for, but at least they put their money where their mouths were, and for that alone should be respected.

Le plus qui ce change, le plus qui c’est la meme chose.

Backwoodsman August 14, 2014 at 3:18 pm

Anna, so sad that your insight and peerless prose is wasted on we few, we happy band of brothers !
Meanwhile folks are actually stiring in the paralel world of the Graun. I take an occasional peek, to find out what I should be thinking, were I the kind of retired redneck who likes to check his priviledge.
An opinion piece loaded with the requisite “wont somebody think only of the Palestinian children” rhetoric, received an astonishingly sceptical and sensible response in the comments below.
Concern about the abstract concept of the religion of peace being a teensy weeny bit of a problem, for the rest of the world, is filtering through in unusual places !

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 3:49 pm

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/11/02/war-tourists-flock-to-syria-s-front-lines.html

It’s not new actually. In Beryl Bainbridge’s “Master George”, well-dressed sightseers drive out to the battlefields of the Crimea for a spot of voyeurism at a safe distance.

Re: The Spanish Civil War: it might have attracted relatively large numbers of committed volunteers on either side, but it also drew quite a few adrenalin-junkies who were there for the kicks, not to mention drifters, the easily-swayed, those who felt they were entitled to witness “history in the making”, professional dogs of war, and misguided teenagers, like the poor dumbo in “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie”. Laurie Lee and George Orwell are both good on this.

Don’t know if you’ve seen the texts exchanged between the woman who was recently convicted of funding terrorism and her hubs out winning the martyr’s crown with the jihadis. Talk about banal. Like two teenagers “on a break”.

GD August 14, 2014 at 7:07 pm

@eyeswideshut Every conflict in the history of the world has also drawn in “adrenalin-junkies who were there for the kicks, not to mention drifters, the easily-swayed, those who felt they were entitled to witness “history in the making”, professional dogs of war, and misguided teenagers, like the poor dumbo in “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie”” as well as dragging in those who were perceived to be of more benefit on the inside pissing out than on the outside pissing in…but that in no way detracts from my contention.

How on earth do you think people communicate in the midst of a war? Do you imagine they us special biblical and/or historical language? Of course not, they take time out and talk the way they would if there was no war. They are actual people in their spare time you know. :o)

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 8:16 pm

Woah, don’t take it out on me, GD. I am not in any way disputing your contention, whatever it is. Life’s too short for manufactured disputes on the internet.

I am totally unsurprised by anything anyone does, in war or peace. Apologies for reflecting on the banality of the jihadis’ musings about the state of their marital relations.

Personally, I prefer peace, to the extent that I support no wars at all. An unpopular position, but there you go.

Now take a chill-pill, as the kids say.

GD August 14, 2014 at 8:41 pm

@eyeswideshut Wasn’t actually that cross (hmmmmm…guilty conscience on the defensive there? ).

I think what you need to remember in future is that few, if any of the Jihadis obtain a contractual agreement that guarantees martyrdom (with or without bonus houris). They know that, if they are one of the unlucky ones, they may have to return and face “her indoors” one day. Surely it is only a precaution of common sense to keep her sweet?

I loathe all forms of war (including the FA cup), I simply observe the behaviours of those who seems to quite like them, impartially.

It occurred to me that, despite being something of a warlord in social politics, I have never had the misfortune to oppose anyone who actually believed in what they were doing, just the thoroughly corrupt who are only inspired by how well it pays.

I have no idea how I would react confronted by someone who really believed that what they were doing was the right, best thing. Bevause whatever I had to do would hurt me at least as much as it did them.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 8:55 pm

Well, growing up in Northern Ireland, I have a good deal of experience of dealing with (not confronting, perish the thought!) people who were convinced they were right, which is why I am not so impressed by conviction per se.

“The best lack all conviction while the worst/Are full of a passionate intensity.”

Of course if they live long enough, they all modify their convictions, and then it is as if they always believed what they now claim to believe. That was then, this is now. Not a bad thing in and of itself, if it means they find a face-saving way of stopping to kill each other.

I really should have maintained the golden rule and stayed out of domestics when it comes to jihadis above all, but seriously: one of the issues we have to face here is the bubble mentality of so many British recruits to these conflicts. I really think they don’t have any idea what they are getting themselves into. In the North, it was on our doorstep, literally.

GD August 14, 2014 at 9:45 pm

@eyeswideshut TRUST you to mention the one exception I forgot to allow for…still, my recent, non-sectarian dealings with the DUP and Sinn Fein place them both more firmly in the “thoroughly corrupt who are only inspired by how well it pays.” camp than anyone else I can think of. As if they USE their sectarian identities to validate their personal corruption.

This aspect of the “terrible beauty (sic)” we made is all very new to me. I suppose I had assumed that all these people (even the ones I personally oppose) would be doing their honest best (however certifiable that might be in some cases) away from sectarian extremism. It has been a deeply traumatic personal watershed to discover, at first hand, that is far from being the case.

I am left wondering if it was all really about a few morally bankrupt people looking for the dung heap it would be easiest for them to climb to the top of while everyone else was a pawn in play.

However harsh cruel and hard it became, and it did, I know that, here in the south, you stood by the boys, and you never questioned, much less told…it was an unwritten rule, like not wearing a bikini to Mass…but did you believe in it? Did you even ASK yourself if you believed in it? Or inquire properly into the nature of what “it” might be?

Or was a whole province and it’s people sacrificed to the ambitions, greed and power of a few worthless curs depending on which community they historically belonged to, but with very little other difference?

There were people who gladly fought and died for sorely lacking “civil rights” but anyone who thinks they achieved that goal mustn’t have looked at the spiteful self serving madhouse at Stormont lately. It didn’t get any better at all, just a bit less sectarian. The people of Northern Ireland are now *equally* lacking in civil rights and accurate representation.

We are supposed to change as we grow older (though perhaps *NOT* quite as suddenly as I had to above, in the past 12 months!). We are supposed to be passionate idealists when we are young, and grow out of it when we get older, if we survive. If they were not fighting a Jihad they might be riding a motorbike like a lunatic around Wolverhampton until they killed themselves and others.

If youth only knew what age has forgotten…you cannot stop the young being young.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 10:13 pm

“Standing by the boys” doesn’t really describe it, if you lived through the 70s and 80s in the North, as I did. “Standing on your own patch of ground” is closer to it. You do us a great disservice if you imply (and I won’t put words in your mouth) that all 1.8 million of us were thoroughly embedded in two warring tribes, or victims of local scoundrels. There was no functioning system of justice here, which is why unlike my English friends on this site, nothing surprises me whatsoever about the state, state actors, the media, or politicians. I had the fortune or misfortune of experiencing the Hobbesian definition of a “working state” upfront: the projection of power. That’s all the state was based on in those years. Certainly no principle of consent. Having seen that within the UK, yes, Virginia, it could happen here.

NI is a very complex place and can’t easily be reduced to slogans, which is exactly why it usually is.

The situation now is infinitely better than what we had before. andI repeat you would have to live here, having lived here for some time, to know what that means. Of course, it is corrupt, it is dysfunctional, it is an increasingly normalised form of corruption and dysfunction. Exactly what you would recognise as “business as usual” down South.

It was not normal in those years, not by a million miles.

GD August 14, 2014 at 10:48 pm

@eyeswideshut OI!!! When I said “Standing by the boys” I was referring to us here the south of Ireland, where I honestly don’t think most of us had much more idea about what it was REALLY like in the North than anyone did in New York, and I would not presume to pretend that I did.

(Except knowing Nordies are belligerent beggars who will argue which way a bean grows up a stalk if nothing sectarian is handy :p! No, seriously, I love the North and Northern people, on an individual level they can be some of the most genuine on earth.)

You said a mouthful here:
“NI is a very complex place and can’t easily be reduced to slogans, which is exactly why it usually is.”

I never try to reduce anything to slogans, much less NI…but I believed all that you say (approximately anyway), until I got a look at the government of the Province and the interaction with cross border politics up close this year.

I don’t think you could realistically claim it is more corrupt than the south (after all, surely, like everything else, corruption has a saturation point?), but there is a tinge of insanity (for want of a better word) where the south is tempered by common sense and something like compassion. It is as if the decades of conflict destroyed a whole level of empathy in those in power. When I started digging I could not believe what I was looking at…fishing for words to describe it here, as if they have a mindset that cannot function without first designating a victim and stripping that victim of all human fundamental right. The selection is not automatically sectarian any more but it is just as vicious and cold blooded.

That tinge of insanity…it scares me half to death. I certainly could not live under it, but I do not know exactly what it means for the people of the province. I know that one of my best friends is living a life best described as Alice, down the rabbit hole, with no way out (with no sectarian connection at all), for years just because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got up the wrong noses, and thyat could happen to anyone, but I have no idea what it means more generally.

I hope it does not mean that the whole province is not sitting on a powder keg that could go up any time for no sane reason.

I would never question whether there was just cause to fight for the civil rights so many were denied, just whether they really got them in the end.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 11:28 pm

Yes, within five minutes of posting, I realised, you were referring to the South, rather than the North, with “Your stand by the boys” comment. The Internet really is a test of our literacy skills, isn’t it

However, if that nonsense was ever true, I doubt it made much impression on the good people of the 26, who had quite enough to be going on with in the 70s and 80s. They voted overwhelmingly for the Good Friday Agreement in 1997, amending their own constitution for the prize of peace. Nothing can be done without peace.

Our belligerence is famous. Go back to the Tain: long before the Anglo-Saxons set foot in England, or the Plantations were a twinkle in the eye of an Elizabethan businessman. Fortunately we are now in a position where we can argue frenetically, which we adore – and NOT GET KILLED. Or kill – which in my value system is worse.

The “problem of Ulster” – and I grew up in it – was that it was an utterly artificial state. Both communities suffered under it, in different ways. In its high period, it was run by Big House Unionists, who had utter contempt for middle- and working -class Protestants, as much as for the Catholics. Quite honestly, you would have to look at something like Tennessee Williams’ plays about “Big Daddies” on the Mississip, to get a flavour of how corrupt it was.

The UK turned an absolute blind eye until the Civil Rights Movement. My family were in on the ground there. We could tell you a few things.

That’s what I repeat: the UK gave them a total carte blanche. Never felt the Six/Ni/Ulster was in any way part of the UK. Never, never, never. It was a No Mans Land.

The “rabbit hole” is an excellent description.

Am I right in thinking you may have been involved with a group which gave evidence to Stormont quite recently with regard to sex workers? And this may have given you an insight into the workings of the Assembly? Forgive me, if I am off-beam.

GD August 15, 2014 at 12:17 am: @eyeswideshut Y’see how I piss you off? There is so little we genuinely disagree about…VERY hard to have a proper barney and MOST frustrating…

“Involved” is a complex word…I have associated with many who gave evidence at Stormont, but were were far from being on the same page. I never intended to take a significant part in the Stormont debate for the (perhaps rather naïve) reason that I know absolutely bog all about sex work in the North of Ireland since ye lads used line up in Dublin and try to get discount (NOT A CHANCE! But I appreciate trying it on was a genetic compulsion, not an insult) because ye wanted a sexual experience rather than the “Full Crying Game”. It was a neat vantage point from which to be an outside observer on the “troubles”, from all sides, but hardly experience of sex work in NI!

Apparently such experience and knowledge was not necessary…even so, I only got involved at the “damage limitation” stage, having run as detailed analyses as I could with the resources available to me of the various parties involved and their intentions as soon as it became apparent that neither justice not truth would be making an appearance on the agenda.

Dealing with them I finally understood what it must have been like to deal with the Nazis. It is not so much that they believe what they are doing is right because of any moral code, more that they never question their own omnipotence and they*FEEL LIKE IT*.

It was pretty obvious that all I saw in that context is far from being new or exclusive to the issue of sex work. It is much too relaxed and practised for that. Tennessee Williams most definitely did spring to mind. They don’t even bother to try and hide it…

Not just “No Man’s Land” but a “No Man’s Land” where both sides had pretty much forgotten the war and moved on…while ye were left behind in limbo.

A lot of English people have absolutely no idea what the “one man one vote” issue was about…they assume it was the same as the rest of Britain. They have no idea that a Catholic who tried to work in Harland and Wolf would have tools “accidentally” dropped on him from great heights until he gave up.

They think it is all exaggeration of perfectly normal things, but it isn’t.

But I had believed it was all fairly normal now.

I guess everyone is entitled to kid themselves some time?
EyesWideShut August 15, 2014 at 12:54 am: GD, the only thing I am pissed off about is the “reply” function is under my post not yours, so it appears that I am talking to myself, which in some ways I am.

I think there is a cigarette-paper’s worth of difference between your views and mine. I also think you have a great deal of experience, knowledge and insight which I don’t possess.

I take this as read.
GD August 15, 2014 at 1:05 am: I think the Reply function is travelling so that we do no end in lines of a single word.

All I can say is “ditto” and particularly:

” I also think you have a great deal of experience, knowledge and insight which I don’t possess.”

Because that is true both ways…
EyesWideShut August 15, 2014 at 1:35 am: (((((GD)))))

GildasTheMonk August 14, 2014 at 4:48 pm

What a ghastly young man

Sigillum August 14, 2014 at 5:03 pm

As we reach the 100th anniversary of the Great War and honour the dead of both that war and the one after, and indeed all of have fallen in defence of this nation – THIS is what has been allowed to prosper here.

Woman on a Raft August 14, 2014 at 9:41 pm: ^^^^ Exactly.

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The Blocked Dwarf August 14, 2014 at 6:19 pm

*wonders what the Landlady’s thoughts are on Cliff Richard ?*

Ian B August 14, 2014 at 7:02 pm

Well, while we wait for Anna’s, I can give mine, which was, “Well, that was predictable. Presumably they’ll now leave him to stew for a while, awaiting some more ‘bravely came forward’ types to appear.”

The Blocked Dwarf August 14, 2014 at 7:28 pm

I was a good looking boy in the 80’s so I’m told -before my beauty sailed away on those streams of Whiskey. I’ll have to check if I ever went anywhere close to where Cliff was at that time…doesn’t have to be exact…a couple of years and several hundred miles either side would be close enough, oh yes…daddy taking care of business, Xmas gonna good this year.

Oh Cliff / Sometimes it must be difficult not to feel as if / You really are a cliff / when fascists keep trying to push you over it! / Are they the lemmings / Or are you, Cliff? / Or are you Cliff?

GD August 14, 2014 at 8:57 pm: @The Blocked Dwarf Let me tell you something I do not usually talk (or think) about. When I first left home (aged 13) I was, within the meaning of the law, to the best of my knowledge I was subjected to (somewhat obscure)celebrity sexual abuse. I was so thoroughly off my face on neat vodka at the time that I cannot even be 100% *sure* Rolf Harris, Jimmy Saville, Dixon of Dock Green and even Edward Heath were not involved as well…but I do not think so.

I looked well over 20 and had a higher IQ than any other person present. The sex was my own idea because I knew that if I had sex I would be safe from anyone realising how young I was and handing me over to the Police and thence back to the family I needed to escape for my safety and sanity, and I was determined nobody should even guess my age. However much it traumatised me (and it did) those involved did not know the truth and did not stand a chance. They were acting like egomanic and chauvinistic dickheads who each, individually, needed his head shoving in the po while the chain was pulled and perhaps a swift kick in the testicles to help them avoid giving way to such behaviour in future, but they certainly were not committing any kind of crime, much less the kind that should be allowed to tear their lives to shreds decades later…

I could not look in the mirror again if I ever revealed their names.

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GD August 14, 2014 at 7:10 pm

Oh feck, what has “Sir Cliff” done now?

(It has always seemed pretty obvious to me that his youthful appearance could not be preserved “WITHOUT” regular baths in the blood of virgins, the only thing worrying me was the suspicion that it was only me who could see this.)

The Blocked Dwarf August 14, 2014 at 7:32 pm

Supposedly he ABUSED some under-16 boy at a Billy Graham rally somewhere in Northern England sometime in the 80’s. Police searched his penthouse apartment today (He’s in Portugal atm though).

Ian B August 14, 2014 at 7:40 pm

That’ll be the “let’s hope he’s got some porn” search then.

GD August 14, 2014 at 7:50 pm

@The Blocked Dwarf You have to admit that the MO seems a good fit.

I never saw the attraction in Billy Graham, but, if Cliff did to each his own, however, I am having significant difficulties working out how Cliff could sneak around unobserved goosing small boys at such an event?

Ian B August 14, 2014 at 9:54 pm

“Sneak around”? It’s now generally accepted that paedophiles have magic superpowers of public molestation that nobody else is aware of. It’s generally accepted that the paedophile cunningly disguises his paedophilishness by acting like a paedophile, so nobody realises he’s a paedophile.

GD August 14, 2014 at 10:50 pm

@Ian B My bad…I COMPLETELY FORGOT about the pedophile superpowers…he probably did it up on stage so?

Ian B August 14, 2014 at 11:26 pm

Well according to press reports, the police haven’t deigned to tell Cliff what the allegation is, either. I have this quaint idea that there’s some sort of principle that you’re supposed to accuse people of something, but apparently it’s a big secret. Possibly his paedosuperpowers are so great that he can commit paedocrime without even himself knowing he has done it, which I suppose is where we will ultimately end up with all this anyway.

GD August 15, 2014 at 12:25 am: It may just be a question of good manners but I believe you are ALSO suppose to contact a person and ask if you may search their house before you call in the press and break their door down with a warrant?

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Wizwag August 14, 2014 at 8:20 pm

I see MWT is jacking himself off to the news on twitter as usual. The press were present at the house which seems par for the course in these inquiries.

GD August 14, 2014 at 8:30 pm: Seriously, I am not liking all these Police/Press joint ops. The Soho Sex Worker evictions and the Edinburgh Sauna Raids were subject to similar treatment, (although no doubt, in deference to the far less heinous nature of the crimes suspected, they were not, as I understand it, subjected to abuse by MWT).

But what the feck is that about? I thought we still have a legal principle of “innocent until proven guilty” but the reality of any sex offence is “innocent until publicly accused” then guilty for life without reference to any court. This is all very, VERY wrong.

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Mudplugger August 14, 2014 at 9:36 pm

May have been a smart move of Sir Cliff when he reportedly took out Bahamas citizenship a few months ago – probably just a coincidence that the Bahamas is apparently one place not to have reciprocal extradition arrangements with the UK.
Good timing, prudence, insurance, covert admission, tip-off ? You decide.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 9:51 pm

Much more likely because of the absence of taxes on capital gains, personal income, corporate earnings, dividends, and inheritance.

And all for an initial capital outlay of 5oo. ooo USD on property: peanuts really.

I’m old-fashioned, I guess. It’s usually the money, not the honey.

Mudplugger August 14, 2014 at 9:57 pm

He’s had a property there for many years – but only very recently spotted the additional benefits of citizenship, apparently.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 10:31 pm

Anno Domini. No doubt he felt he could live forever at one time, but time’s winged chariot is usually accompanied by tax advisers, especially if you have something to advise on.

He’s spent a lot of time in my home from home, Lusitania, and put a good deal into his vineries there.

Now you could be right and I could be wrong, because thank God, I set no great store by being right or wrong, but I rather doubt his newly-acquired citizenship is a hedge against the long arm of the Boys in Blue. i await his flight to the Bahamas – and the impotent rage of the Daily Mail.

Will Cameron send a gunboat, do you think? That should take our minds right off the Scottish referendum…

GD August 14, 2014 at 10:52 pm

The gunboat sounds like spiffing fun…they could strap MWT to the bow as a figurehead – like in Mad Max only wetter…

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 11:44 pm

I think you are a silly boy and I think I like you

GD August 15, 2014 at 1:47 pm: Reply

Mudplugger August 14, 2014 at 11:02 pm

Not about anyone being right or wrong, just adding a few more bits of information to colour in the picture.
I have no idea whether Cliff has ever been involved in anything untoward, I hope he has not, as this would prove hugely disappointing for his many loyal fans. It remains to be seen whether Plod’s current fishing expedition flushes out anything, but you can bet all the MWTs will be chomping at the bit to big-up any aspects for their own disreputable ends.

GD August 14, 2014 at 11:17 pm

THERE IS MORE THAN ONE MWT??????

TOO MUCH information thank you…

Seriously now, I have a feeling that they will never even find any porn. Whatever Cliff Richard has done for a sex life, guilty or innocent, is something he cannot come to terms with to the extent that he has even hidden it from himself, and I would imagine that relates more to early trauma than to any kind of guilt. It is as if there is a wire leading nowhere in his make up, not UNlike Michael Jackson, but, very much unlike Michael Jackson he never compromised with his inner conflict or sublimated it into personal weirdness.

If I had to put my money down, I would put it down on Cliff Richard being someone who *IF* he were a pedophile (which I am by no means certain or suspicious of) would never have acted on it. I have a feeling he would have a hard time coming to terms with his own sexuality whatever form it took, and why that might be so is none of our business.

EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 11:48 pm

Lol, back in the Jurassic Age, I dealt with his songwriter, (who frankly should have been locked up for “Mistletoe and Wine” alone) and they were a very sincere group of Anglican gays.

Basically.

That’s all there is to it.

GD August 15, 2014 at 12:23 am: MWT has a SONGWRITER????

*rubbing eyes*

…no, sorry…wrong attention focus…

That would make sense, and I do believe he would have a very hard time coming to terms with that alone.

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JimS August 14, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Surely your first link is a joke?

Anyway I liked this from one of the (extensive) comments:
“English language is not only a lingua franca but also lingua frankensteinia. Human right are also covers linguistic right. Cultural and linguistic genocide are very common. British schooling is murdering community languages like Arabic, Urdu and others. English is today the world killer language. Linguistic genocide is a crime against humanity and British schooling is guilty of committing this crime. Language is not just a language. It defines one’s culture, identity and consciousness. It defines how we think, communicate and express ourselves. The fact is the most South Asian Muslims have come to know Islam by way of Urdu, the children’s alienation from the language that connects them the heritage of their parents and grandparents is disturbing.”

All part of Nick Clegg’s ‘Modern Britain’.

Wigner’s Friend August 15, 2014 at 7:53 am: Less of a joke than the racism of “Gardner’s Question Time”.

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EyesWideShut August 14, 2014 at 8:47 pm

I’d love to know which of the following conditions from s8(1) of PACE 1984 applied when the police obtained a search warrant for Richard’s Sunningdale pad:

“(a) that it is not practicable to communicate with any person entitled to grant entry to the premises;
(b) that it is practicable to communicate with a person entitled to grant entry to the premises but it is not practicable to communicate with any person entitled to grant access to the evidence;
(c) that entry to the premises will not be granted unless a warrant is produced;
(d) that the purpose of a search may be frustrated or seriously prejudiced unless a constable arriving at the premises can secure immediate entry to them”.

Sir Cliff seems to think he was indeed contactable or he wouldn’t have complained that he knew nothing about the search warrant until it was executed, unlike the media. he has also said he intend to co-operate fully, which presumably would extend to granting permission to enter his premises, without the need for a warrant.

GD August 15, 2014 at 1:08 am

Back to Anna’s original post…I finally clicked through some links and OMG!!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2722384/Reyaad-Khan-The-Cardiff-jihadist-wants-die-martyr.html

They are marketing Jihad as if it were a food supplement or a shampoo.

“Jihad – because you’re worth it”

EyesWideShut August 15, 2014 at 1:57 am

Indeed they are.

That was my point about the banality of the British jihadis, a chara.

There’s an interesting memoir on the subject called “The Islamist”, which came out a few years ago: a young man who found himslelf on the fringes of Al Qauedah, and it was more or less ” a life-style choice”. The bubble-mentality in Britain: here was his opportunity to find an identity in marketing terms.

His family had no links with or involvement in the International Muslim Brand. He seemed to have turned to it because he wanted to be taking seriously by other teenagers at London University. To be a “playa”.

Far cry from NI in my day.

Now there is some really serious politics here, on a level that would make your eyes bleed, but these twitter-jihadis are just – so English, whether they realise it or not.

They have Youtube Channels set up to celebrate mayhem in iraq, with “hip-hop” music background.

So-called Islamic warriors borrowing the music, language and clothing of Black Americans. That is how much their culture means to them.

They are utterly confused. Creatures of the media age.

Gil August 15, 2014 at 2:07 am

A bigger badder gang? His accent has also totally changed.
http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/video/2014/jun/25/exclusive-video-reyaad-khan-isis-video
http://www.gatestoneinstitute.org/4521/grooming-jihadists#

GD August 15, 2014 at 1:43 pm

@Gil I noticed that was the strangest Cardiff accent I ever heard right off. I am one of those people who (tome my embarrassment) “catches” any accent around me, so I will be generous and not assume he is posing. The sad part is that he sounds so realistic and genuine. He is right to reject all the things he rejects…it is just what he is filling the void with that is so terribly wrong.

@eyeswideshute Can you imagine the boys doing a promo like that? More importantly, can you imagine their mothers ever letting them back in the house after it if they did?

I get the uneasy feeling that either they mistook “Four Lions” for a documentary or I mistook it for the best comedy I have seen in years.

It is great that they would rather die for something they believe in than hang out on street corners, get drunk, boost cars – but what is it they are believing in? I have taken a shot at reading a couple of different translations of the Koran to get a fairer picture, and it seems to me that most of it boils down to a historically appropriate (I know “three wives” is a “tool of the patriarchy” but good luck with selling that notion in the 7th century!) version of:
“Try not to be too much of a dickhead and Allah with make it worth your while in the afterlife”

For it’s time the Koran is pretty down to earth (there are even distinct traces of gentle wit) and reasonable. It gave women more rights than they were to have in most of Europe for hundreds of years, and tends to “advise” rather than command. The power of it is in that the advice of the Prophet was so unerringly realistic, right and *doable* (Christianity aimed for impossible perfections, the Prophet brought that down to earth) that you are left wondering what on earth is WRONG with you that you are not living by it anyway.

WHAT WENT WRONG?

The Prophet even took the sensible precaution of forbidding translation to prevent the Koran from being abused to agenda, but it was obviously not enough. I believe the “Muslim brand” and the various “Islamic Jihad Package Deals” available online would horrify his 7th century soul and break his 7th century heart…and if any Muslim finds that offensive I suggest they go back and READ the book the Prophet left behind properly.

All I can see in front of my eyes right now is an aging Yassar Araafat on 9/11 close to tears, saying over and over:
“Do they not REALISE??? You cannot DO these things!”

Gil August 16, 2014 at 10:47 pm: I came across this discussion today and thought it was interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Hyhgl-sU_g The participants’ details can be found online. The Quilliam Foundation representative is particularly informative about how the process works. They all seem to agree that it is not just recognised extremists or returning jihadis that pose a threat, but also “soft” Islamicists and their sanctioning through misguided policies of multiculturalism.

There is also a documentary on “The Islamic State” by Vice News, available as a single film or split into five parts. The Arabic-speaking film maker had apparently managed to get access to this outfit in Iraq and shows them enforcing Sharia in the streets (in the nicest possible way), indoctrinating children from a very young age and denying that the membership engages in “sex Jihad”, somehow failing to realise that by using their own inspeak they reveal what they are doing.

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sally stevens August 15, 2014 at 2:50 am

I thought everyone pretty much had Cliff twigged, but I guess, like Liberace and his hosts of female fans, they just didn’t get it. Hi ho. He was known as Boothby’s Little Boy back when, and if he simply avoided stating the obvious when homosexuality was declared legal, that was his right, but come on y’all, really?? You thought he was just some shy and retiring bachelor boy?

I’m outraged that the press were waiting like slavering hounds at Sunningdale, after getting a tip from the police.

Cliff’s taken Barbadian nationality btw, not the Bahamas. Barbados has no extradition treaty with the UK. Make of it what you will.

EyesWideShut August 15, 2014 at 2:58 am

Yup and guess what, Barbados does have an extradition treaty with both the US and UK.

Going all the way back to 1935.

sally stevens August 15, 2014 at 3:53 am: I’ll make it an attempt to smear Cliff then. Someone is trying to make it look as if he’s running.

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Jonathan Mason August 15, 2014 at 2:52 am

Sir Cliff is innocent in every sense of the word.

sally stevens August 15, 2014 at 4:55 pm

I’m noticing that finally some more of the UK are waking up to the fact that things aren’t right here. Jimmy Savile has been vilified and condemned without any chance of defending himself, and now here’s Cliff being treated like I don’t know what without any proof except some complainant from 1985 whose word “must be believed,” the press are completely out of control, the South Yorkshire police seem to have lost their minds, and I hope he sues them all. Send in the clowns.