International Women’s Day is with us again, our annual chance to shriek how unfair life is…we do soldier manfully womanfully on the other 364 days of the year with narry a word of complaint. Today is our day, so let rip ladies.

Anything the men can do we can do better – they have International Men’s Day (November 19th each year for those who were unaware such a thing existed, let alone gets celebrated). International Men’s Day is all about teaching men the importance of gender equality, and improvements towards gender relations in all societies, so you might imagine that International Women’s Day would be pretty much the same. Simpleton! Nay, International Women’s Day is all about the Gender Agenda and Ending Violence against Women.

Today we celebrate the fact that men are beasts and we look for ways to contain them and their beastly ways, though sometimes we have to chuck a fellow feminist on the fire in order to get them. Such is the Pryce of justice for Beastleigh-ism. Nice of Mr Justice Sweeney not to sentence Our Vicky today of all days.

The Times kicks off with the tale of the budding politician (what else would he have done with a politics and international relations degree?) thankfully nipped in the bud before he could come to maturity as a fully fledged beast with sadistic tendencies and a safe seat in Hampstead, who was so successfully in training as an Eric Joyce replacement  – getting hammered on cheap booze – that the Police were called, sadly too late to save the darling fluffy little hamster with big eyes that he was preparing for his supper. Yes, I do know that all over Peru, our Sisters-in-Solidarity are gaily roasting hamsters for Miguel’s supper, but this was a white middle class male and he would obviously have moved onto roasting beavers and other furry euphemisms if he hadn’t been stopped. 120 hours of community service, barred from keeping animals for eight years, and £1,000 quid out of his student loan; that’ll larn him to try and cook his own supper and put one of the sisters out of a job.

Talking of jobs,  leading employment agency Acorn is encouraging we ladies to celebrate International Women’s Day by looking for work in the coke and iron heavy industry. You know, stoking those heavy furnaces and all that – there’s equality for you – but before you don your best boiler suit and clump down there as fast as your Doc Marten’s will let you, I must tell you that the firm they are pushing, Harsco Industries at Port Talbot is a true believer in equality. A check on their web site reveals that they don’t have any jobs in Port Talbot for men or women….

Sad news from the African bush though, ‘Mai Desire’ had successfully taught her man to let her make love to him, (I’m impressed!), wear a condom, (I’m even more impressed) but that was a far as safe sex went; she lay him down in a lion sanctuary, and went the outraged lion came to investigate, her man ran off and left her to get eaten by the lion. Not good ladies, safe sex extends to picking the location as well as the condom. 24 year old Diana Hanson had a similarly unfortunate encounter with a lion in California.  Look, I know they’re fluffy and they’ve got big eyes, and two quid a week will save them from extinction, but shall we leave the men to deal with them? This is not good – they are not the same as hamsters.

Since we are on the subject of saving animals from extinction – how’s the campaign to save the pubic lice going? I don’t see any adverts on afternoon TV to give £2 a week to save them? Eyes not big enough, not fluffy enough? It’s all our fault you know, in these days of rampant paedophilia we are so keen to look like pubescent girls that we have taken to having hot wax poured on our genitals (well, we haven’t all, there are still some renegades left….Too much information folks?) and when the wax is ripped off leaving us baby smooth, bang (or shriek) goes the natural habitat of Pediculosis pubis and we are left with just ridiculousis pubes….

Now we have descended to a conversation on genitals, I’m really impressed with the campaign to train those beastly men to use the toilet properly. Apparently they are now so terrified of missing a call from us demanding that they get a move on making dinner that the darling little house husbands have taken to using the toilet sitting down, so that they can check to see if there are any urgent text messages from us on their mobile. Cool ladies, nice one!

Some men are becoming quite respectable – look at 41 year old Stanley Colorite. Great clothes, great hobby, the sort of man a girl could afford to have around the house – and there really is no need to have the other sort around the house, you can leave them safely incarcerated and arrange to have the only useful thing about them shipped to your home in pre-packed turkey baster courtesy of the tax payer these days. (Can anybody find me the early Julie Birchill article where she successfully solved all the country’s debt problems by jailing all men between the ages of 15 and 35 – I’d give anything to read it again).

All in all, a most successful year ladies, thanks to dear Harriet and Lynne Featherstone, the world is slowly being remade to our desire; God surely had a sense of humour when she made man, but the joke is wearing thin. It’s our world.

Ms Raccoon will be spending the rest of this glorious day dislodging her tongue from her cheek. Turn that into a joke at your peril.

Lucozade March 9, 2013 at 11:04

Men have been mauled to death working with lions too….

Ted Treen March 9, 2013 at 00:12

I NEVER obey my best beloved for reasons of ‘marital coercion” – it’s
rather more a well-developed instinct for self-preservation…

Lucozade March 9, 2013 at 11:13

Ted Treen,

Good one, lol….

Joe Public March 8, 2013 at 23:49

On the next “International Mens’ Day”, perhaps the un-fairer sex could
campaign for equality in so far as being allowed the use of the “marital
coercion” defence in appropriate circumstances?

Ian
Hills March 8, 2013 at 22:20

The “International Men’s Day” site that Anna linked to has been hacked. It
has been made to look as if it was about international GAY men.

Paul March 8, 2013 at 21:19

@binao,

I never thought I would ever have the chance to relate the following but
maybe this is it.

In 1977, as a sixteen year old blond fit rugby playing lad, I had a holiday
job in a perfume factory in a perfectly respectable Hampshire town. The
comments from the women on the packing line towards me would now have ended up
in court had the sexes been reversed. I was, at the time, VERY intimidated and
the more I blushed, the worse it got. However, it didn’t leave a scar on me
and I always regarded it as a bit of an education about the reality of the
“fair sex” of a certain age/class.

I’m not sure about your comment that “the lads are so wet now”. Normal
people are just the same as they always have been. Just getting on with normal
life without a thought about International Women’s Day.

Henry March 11,
2013 at 20:42

“Normal people are just the same as they always have been. Just getting
on with normal life without a thought about International Women’s Day”

If only it were so. Young people are, in fact, lapping this man-hating
nonsense up. Part of a sort of new religion. Be afraid.

binao March 8, 2013 at 20:46

Tongue in cheek indeed Anna?
As a bloke going through the pains of
renewing his driving licence, and being captured by the medical police, ( I
want a D2) I can look back a long way.
I haven’t forgotten as a very young,
very blond apprentice being on the receiving end of the attentions of the
older women in the factory; maybe imagined, but sheer terror. They were making
fun of me. They were empowered.
And as a soft southerner, not long married,
in ’71 moving to Bolton and being bowled over by the boldness of the local
women, and not a little frightened at times.
Having moved around a bit and
having had hundreds of women working for me at times, here and abroad, I know
no more about what goes on in women’s heads (or mine) than I did all those
years ago. Never met any that couldn’t stand their ground.
Now, twice
married and widowed, all I can say is that the she activists are wasting their
time. Blokes are a pushover and women by and large can do as they wish.
Men
that aren’t respectful are stupid.
Respectful to all, that is.
Shame
though that the lads are so wet now.

belinus March 8,
2013 at 21:16

Wet they are but like the old saying goes…for everything a reason :
https://www.lifeinthemix.info/2012/04/boy-girl-synthetic-chemistry-hermaphrodite-mind/

belinus March 8,
2013 at 20:17

Na…boys are way better than girls….

carol42 March 8, 2013 at 19:04

I listened to one of these fanatical young women today, they don’t have any
idea about normal women. Most men are decent and most boys are nice but I do
agree the education system is now weighted towards girls, very sad when so
many young boys don’t have fathers at home. Same with Scouts etc. men are
afraid of being accused of something so better not to volunteer at all. I
really do feel sorry for men now, things have swung too far the other way.

Moor
Larkin March 8, 2013 at 13:31

A very tangled tale also emerging from the wreckage of the Pryce marital
coercion case:

The mother of Constance Briscoe is considering reopening her legal battle
against her daughter, after failing to persuade a jury five years ago that the
judge had lied about her childhood in her best-selling “misery memoir”.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/vicky-pryce-guilty-judge-briscoe-faces-new-libel-battle-against-the-mother-she-wrote-about-8525460.html

JuliaM March 8,
2013 at 14:35

Good lord!

Budvar March 8, 2013 at 12:54

Sory, but I find hirsute a bit of a turnoff. I remember (Vividly) a
conversation with one of the sisterhood regarding this very topic.
She said
“But little girls are hairless, real women have hair…”. This from a woman who
was built like gay docker, had 70s bush, Nena-esq (99 red ballons) armpit
hair, hair on her legs like spiderslegs and a moustache like a Mexican
bandit.
Hey I like my women more like a Jane Russell than the more popular
androgynous Kate Moss type, but even I (being just a mere man) can tell the
difference between a woman and a little girl.

John Galt
March 8, 2013 at 12:39

“All in all, a most successful year ladies, thanks to dear Harriet
and Lynne Featherstone, the world is slowly being remade to our
desire;”

The problem with all of this remaking of the world in the feminist design
is that when the world falls apart economically as it does occasionally and
these women’s problems revert from what Prada shoes to buy to how to find
something to eat, all of the unnatural aspects of feminism will dissolve
away.

Quite rightly, by the mid-80′s we had reached a situation where women had
equality before the law in all things and such practices as forcing women from
the workforce upon marriage or firing them during pregnancy have been deemed
unacceptable. Not at all times and in all places, but generally and that is a
good thing.

However, since the 1980′s there have been a group of feminists, mainly in
the political sphere but also in education and medicine who are determined to
place such positive discrimination in place that the number of male teachers
in the junior & infants education system is little more than a rounding
error.

An education system based upon final examinations favoured boys competitive
natures and the switch to continual assessment has undermined that, but with
the removal of men from the lower ranks of the education system we are leaving
boys with no male role models until high school or even afterwards. This is
leading to boys growing into men without any real exposure to decent male role
models.

If we’re going to have equality then it should be balanced, but we are
being pushed into a situation where large parts of the public sector workforce
are becoming “women only” preserves. The use of the media manipulated
paedophile-scare to oust decent male teachers is particularly
objectionable.

Moor
Larkin March 8, 2013 at 12:24

It’s Mothers Day on Sunday. Every good boy loves his mum. And mums
generally love their sons. And the world keeps turning.

Elena ‘andcart
March 8, 2013 at 12:19

I am just off out into the garden to dig up the sink waste pipe because it
is blocked, again. Have a good day you all, doing your own thing.
Any spare
men will be gratefully received, Sheesh. I can’t believe I said that.

Roy Fernley
March 8, 2013 at 22:36

Pay the airfare from Auckland and I’m there!

Elena
‘andcart March 8, 2013 at 22:56

Pay the airfare from France and I’ll come to you. Sorry, belay that
Pipe. I would rather come by boat, if you don’t mind. I never fly because
I know too much about aeroplanes. But I am a dab hand at blocked sink
pipes.