Parish Notice.
To celebrate the fact that the End of the World has failed to materialise – and as a suitable accompaniment to the Brave New World about to commence, (and I trust you have all noticed, that it is now a full year since the end of Ms Raccoon’s world failed to materialise either – and the little bugger still hasn’t dared to rear its ugly head….) the ever generous Mr G has upgraded Ms Raccoon’s computing ability…he has faith that I shall be around for a few more years yet, annoying the life out of everybody.
No more toddling off to make a cup of coffee as I wait for ‘Bertha’ to cogitate the possibility of moving from one page to another; I shall be spending the day making the transition from 1 GB of memory to 16 glorious GBs. Whooosh! I shan’t know myself, and the coffee bill will drop dramatically.
Now the Apple store in Paris assure me that ‘all’ I have to do is take the ethernet cable out of my live box and use it to connect the two computers and I shall be up and running in ‘seconds’ with everything migrated to the new iMac…
It is now 8.08am in Bergerac – you’ll be able to judge the truth of that claim by when the next post appears!
Since I am a tad doubtful myself – I shall leave you with my Christmas card to you all…
Going off line now, I may be some time…
h/t to Saul for the excellent photo.
-
1
December 21, 2012 at 07:29 -
You’ve been doing all this on 1Gb of RAM? Girl are you in for a surprise with 16Gb – your computer will runneth over with joy! Have fun and congratulations on all the good stuff.
-
2
December 21, 2012 at 16:23 -
Anna: You won’t have seen an advert on television, where a young lady, stood on a railway platform, with her brand new laptop/tablet combo machine is suddenly transported back to Edwardian time and one of the gawking oiks nearby asks of the computer “Is it powered by coal, or steam?”
1GB RAM? I am not sure if that makes you a ‘Luddite’ or a card carrying member of the Flat Earth Society but the fact that you produced all of this on ‘ancient’ technology is remarkable. We will see how you get on..
As a fellow ‘Flat Earther’ (with 2GB RAM) I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2013.
I extend the same greeting to all our fellow occupants of the Raccoon Arms and hope that 2013 will bring them all they wish for.
-
3
December 21, 2012 at 16:41
-
-
-
4
December 21, 2012 at 07:31 -
Congratulations and may I wish you a very Happy Christmas.
-
5
December 21, 2012 at 07:53 -
What a Christmas present! Enjoy the speed. You may have to wear a seat belt.
All the best for the festive season. You know, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And let there be many of them. I miss pubs and the Racoon Arms is somewhere I stop off most days for a quick one.
-
6
December 21, 2012 at 08:14 -
Welcome back. Merry Christmas.
-
7
December 21, 2012 at 08:20 -
Er…the end of the world is due in about three hours time; is anyone else wondering whether, centuries hence, a post-apocalyptic society will talk in awed tones of ‘The Raccoon’, who plugged in a cable in Southern France on December 21st 2012 and triggered a global cataclysmic event…?
-
8
December 21, 2012 at 19:39 -
Well, still here twelve hours later, so it looks like the transfer went off without a hitch after all; best of luck with the new kit and a very merry Christmas, Mme Raccoon – and many happy returns of the festive season!
-
9
December 21, 2012 at 19:51 -
Erm, could we be The Chosen Few? Are we blogging away, oblivious to the fact that all of the arseholes have gone to Hell or High Water? Is this The New World on Anna Raccoon? I haven’t seen a single soul all day. Except for the dog. And he’s okay. He doesn’t smoke, and only gets a drink when I am daft enough to leave my glass in his proximity, which isn’t often.
It isn’t quite time yet to say Happy Christmas. I will do that later.
-
10
December 21, 2012 at 20:36 -
Not ALL the arseholes. I’m still here.
-
11
December 21, 2012 at 21:06 -
Oh, I get it. Only the arseholes have survived. Par for the course then.
-
-
12
December 21, 2012 at 20:40 -
It’s a lovely thought – a world populated by the enlightened patrons of the Raccoon Arms – but I’m sorry to say that, if you noticed a lack of people in your locality, it’s probably only because the inhabitants were all trying to find a parking space at my local supermarket along with the rest of the population of northern Europe.
-
-
-
-
13
December 21, 2012 at 08:23 -
Oooh, could I do this? And can I buy it on line?
Sadly, the world as we know it hasn’t come to an end. I was quite looking forward to the challenge.
-
14
December 21, 2012 at 08:32 -
Here’s wishing a Happy Christmas and/or a jolly festive season to all those contributors and commenters who have contrived to brighten my days since I discovered the Racoonatic asylum. And for those with ram envy, I always maintain that it’s not the size that matters but what you do with it.
-
15
December 21, 2012 at 08:52 -
I’ve tried that excuse too – didn’t work for me either ! Just like the anglers’ favourite “It’s not how deep you fish, it’s how you wiggle your worm”.
But the best of festive baubles to all at the Raccoon Arms, now it’s back to my trusty old 64Kb machine……
-
-
16
December 21, 2012 at 08:52 -
Did Mr G hedge his bet, and get your Chrissie present on a credit card??
-
17
December 21, 2012 at 09:00 -
Merry Christmas to one and all!
-
18
December 21, 2012 at 09:01 -
My iMac has always been whizzy with 16Gb of ram and the ssd…vava voom!
-
19
December 21, 2012 at 09:19 -
All the very best to you ‘n’ yours Anna and muchos merryment expressed toward your Chrimbo tidings. Top bloggin’, brava!
-
20
December 21, 2012 at 09:40 -
16Gb to write a blog! Crikey!
Chieftan tank ran its whole fire control system in 4k, program included; the whole company’s e-mail server ‘upgraded’ to a 10Mb hard drive around the same time! Where do all these modern bits go, (producing stupid shadows and semi-transparent dialogue boxes and providing plenty of cover for rogue software perhaps)?
-
21
December 21, 2012 at 20:42 -
JimS was successful in his audition as Scrooge in the Raccoon Arms upcoming production of “A Christmas Carol” panto, there are still vacancies for the ghost of Christmas present and Tiny Tim (though Gloria Smudd is rumoured to be covetous of that role).
May I add my sincere good wishes for a happy Christmas to all at The Raccoon Arms for their good company and genial conversation, especially the landlady and Mr. G our hosts also Matt Wardman and Sadbutmadlad for stepping in during the landladys health crisis.
-
22
December 21, 2012 at 22:28 -
What a wonderful idea! An Anna Raccoon Christmas Pantomime!!
The possibilties are endless….
-
23
December 21, 2012 at 22:30 -
Mind you, any thigh slapping from Ms Smudd may lead to a Tsunami that could fulfill the Mayan Prophecy!
-
24
December 22, 2012 at 03:23 -
A discreet Bob Cratchit (to the audience)-”Oh no she would not…….” places hand behind his ear an cocks it to the audience.
Awaits response from the children……….
-
25
December 23, 2012 at 22:50 -
You flatter me, as always, Saul! I have only once, by virtue of my bulk, had any effect on the world’s surface and that was when I once accidentally and temporarily obliterated Luxemburg when I shifted in my seat and most of my arse slipped off and headed off across the Channel and into mainland Europe. Since then I have been very careful in choosing where I sit and I never, never wave during a high tide.
-
-
-
-
-
26
December 21, 2012 at 10:17 -
Saul sent you the clean version of that picture Anna…
-
27
December 21, 2012 at 12:14 -
Well, I’m 2 hours ahead of the UK peeps and I’m still here. That being the case, I’d like to take the opportunity to wish ‘The Hostess With The Mostest’, Mr. G and all you regulars, a wonderful Christmas.
Here’s hoping for an outbreak of sanity in 2013 ! -
28
December 21, 2012 at 13:02 -
Have a brilliant Christmas!
-
29
December 21, 2012 at 13:23 -
Dear Normal People,
Postponed Apocalypse
It is with great regret that we have to announce that the End of The Known World will not materialise (or dematerialise, ho, ho) at the appointed time on 21st December 2012.
Despite our best efforts to hasten the destruction of your cultures and economies, to start unjust wars, to persecute you with bad legislation, to overtax you, to cause you great mental distress and ultimately to destroy all that is precious to you, we are terribly sorry to tell you that an unfortunate dispute with some of our Agents of The Apocalypse over pay and conditions means that their withdrawal of labour will prevent the arrival of this much anticipated event.
Please remain on top of your chosen mountains of destiny, aboard your arks of protection and in your cold war bunkers for a little longer and hopefully your coming global Armageddon will be all you expected.
Ever (hopefully not that long) Yours,
Tony Blair
George Bush
The Obama
The EU
Gordon Brown
Peter Mandelson
Dave Cameron
The Miliband Family
Nicky Clegg
Chairmen and Director Generals BBC (ex, current, acting and waiting)
Piers Morgan, Polly Toynbee and other left-wing tuscan villa owners and shady share dealers
Rupert Murdoch’s gutter press writers
Steve Coogan, Hugh Grant, George Galloway and Keith Vaz on behalf of insincere, opportunistic, lying, carpet bagging bandwagonners
The other 646 troughing MPs
Julia Middleton of Common Purpose, ex of Marxism Today
Suzi Leather on behalf of all unelected marxist quangocrats
The rest of the overpaid echelons of the civil service
Lord Leveson
All at Goldman Sachs, Barclays, et al.
That bloke with the smug grin who sits opposite you on the bus every morning-
30
December 21, 2012 at 15:05 -
This is really, really boring. I’ve got all this tobacco that I was gonna to make a killing with, along with gallons and gallons of alcohol of various kinds that has just scuppered my pension for the next six months that was gonna keep me in luxury for ever, once all my drunken neighbours found out about it. And now what? No bloomin Apocolypse. It just isn’t good enough. Who can I sue?
-
31
December 21, 2012 at 15:56 -
You think you’ve got problems….
I’ve just maxed out the credit card on condoms and viagra in anticipation – what’s Mrs Mudplugger going to say when the post-non-apocalypse Barclaycard statement unexpectedly arrives ? She doesn’t use either of those – well, not to my knowledge anyway. I’m doomed !-
32
December 21, 2012 at 16:26 -
Oh Shit. You could be in serious trouble. Take to the nearest Mountain. Bugarach is looking good.
No, wait. Tell her Jimmy Savile nicked your Credit Card. Or one of those other Serial Sex Abusers. Everyone else seems to believe it.
-
-
-
-
33
December 21, 2012 at 13:41 -
Oh well, guess I’ll have to put that tree up after all. Christmas Greetings to Anna and everyone else in the Raccoon Arms.
-
34
December 21, 2012 at 15:13 -
Don’t be too hasty about having “got away with it”, it can still happen. I just rang my cousin in New Zealand and there was no reply; not even the answerphone! Make of that what you will. . . . . . .
-
35
December 21, 2012 at 15:24 -
Glory be. The End of Days has happened in New Zealand. Just one problem. It’s tomorrow there. Typical. You don’t see an Apocalypse for hours, and then they all come along at the same time.
PS. Do you think your cousin might be interested in my fag and booze mountain?-
36
December 21, 2012 at 16:48 -
You could try the DIY approach to the booze mountain. Then if Apocalypse does happen, at least you’ll be suitably anaesthetised!
-
37
December 21, 2012 at 17:19 -
Golly, Gosh. What a good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?
Ere, ang on. What do I do if it doesn’t appen? Someone’s got to feed the bleedin dog. Oh, I know. I’ll leave him a bowl full of Gin and Tonic. He likes that.
-
-
-
-
38
December 21, 2012 at 16:07 -
The days not over yet… :/ :/ :/ (lol)
Glad to hear the good news about your health though, good luck
-
39
December 21, 2012 at 16:44 -
This is splendid news – the Raccoon Arms re-equipping with a long term future in mind; even more splendid news that the Health Demons are vanquished. A happy, relaxing and peaceful Christmas to the landlady, to Mr G, and to all the patrons of the Snug. A livelier, more humorous and more erudite clientele would be hard to find in all the far reaches of the interweb.
-
40
December 21, 2012 at 18:12 -
Pleased you have a a new 16 Gigahamster machine, I traded my old macbook for a nice new 13″ Macbook Air with full SSD back in November (buy now pay 6 months later) thinking I would get 2 free months then the world would end, ah well guess I have to pay for it now.
Freezing our butts off here in Alberta beautiful sunny day but -17 (wind chill -30)
A Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year to all in the Snug at the Racoon Arms.
-
41
December 21, 2012 at 20:55 -
I am happy to advise that reports of New Zealand’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. The sun is beaming down from blue skies onto Auckland harbour, the waters are a beautiful azure blue and once more I am reminded why NZ is colloquially known as Godzone.
Anna, enjoy the new toy and Happy Christmas and New Year to all visitors to the Racoon Arms.
-
42
December 21, 2012 at 21:16 -
Bugger off. I don’t want to know that it is High Summer in New Zealand. And you can tell Van Deimen to bugger off as well. It is bloody freezing here, and wet with it. The bloody dog won’t go out, and I am decidedly sick of mopping dog piss off the floor. I tolerate it merely because he is very old and past it, and someone might have to do the same for me one day. And I hope they don’t want to bump me off either.
Happy Christmas.-
43
December 21, 2012 at 22:45 -
It’s not all beer and skittles here, can’t find my SPF30!
-
-
-
44
December 21, 2012 at 23:31 -
Happy Christmas to all denizens of the Snug at the Raccoon Arms, very glad to hear that our landlady will be with us – albeit at a much faster speed – for the foreseeable future, as well, and that the world is still spinning round in its own peculiar way!
-
45
December 22, 2012 at 03:10 -
dear mrs. racoon, very pleased at your news and even happier you have a new computer.merry christmas,all i live on birmingham alabama and i am vexxed. those goshdarn mayans. they sneaked us again .over here in the southeastern seaboard states al. georgia and florida we had sunny skys and some slight wind gust .agaian mrs. racoon happy for you. have a splendid 2013. best wishes , raymond t. barfoot
-
46
December 22, 2012 at 19:24 -
Are you a genuine, bedouin Native American Indian? I only ask because I want to be able boast about knowing one. I love the name, and I should have been called Elena Barefoot. Whoops, sorry. Barfoot. But either would do.
-
-
47
December 22, 2012 at 11:27 -
Never having commented here but then it being Christmas, I read here daily. Or at least, I check in. Always superb.
Best in the New Year. From Arkansas USA.
-
48
December 23, 2012 at 22:03 -
Glad you’re still around Rac. You are always thought provoking whether I agree with you or not. More power to your gigabites, however many you manage to scrape together.
Comments on this entry are closed.
Previous post: The pic n’ mix Pollard Report.
Next post: For hearts that bleat solely for themselves at this time…
{ 48 comments }