Twitter is a curious phenomenon. Leaving aside all the trolling and general idiocy that can go on, there is wit, there is expression, there is immediacy and there is social contact. I have become personally engaged with quite a few people whom I have never met.

One such is Lisa Harding. Lisa has various Twitter incarnations, and I have followed her for a good while. She is a decent cove. She was a long term Liberal Democrat (and I think a councilor for a while). She has plenty of views, and perhaps she won’t mind me saying she may be a little eccentric. I regard this as a very positive trait indeed. And then there is the little detail that Lisa has a bipolar condition, which produces, as one might expect, some highs and lows in mood. Pausing there, if anyone has the reaction that bipolar is a bit of a cop out for being emotionally ill disciplined, stop right there. It is a serious condition that demands sensitivity and care. One of my favourite actors, Jeremy Brett, was a sufferer, and it affected his health badly in his later years.

Anyway, Lisa is a good hearted and decent soul. One of her best attributes is the love and care for her animals. There was Mickey, the Jack Russell terrier. Mickey was a Rescue Dog – taken from a bad home. Now, if I knew nothing else about Lisa that would commend her to me. So when Mickey sadly got sick and died, Lisa was understandably quite distraught. So was I. I got the feeling Mickey was a little character and very much at the centre of Lisa’s world.

When Lisa acquired a new dog, another rescued Jack Russell called Lilah; I was delighted for them both. And angry at Lilah’s health problems, caused by ill treatment by her previous owners, surfaced.

Sadly, some time ago Lisa lost the job working for a charity or cause she loved. It was to do with action for the deaf, I believe. Poor Lisa, a single woman living in a rented flat, has been another casualty, I suspect, of the general incompetence and greed that has caused one of the worst recessions in living memory and afflicted the ordinary folk, whilst in the banks’ boardrooms  and Whitehall the good times roll on unabated.

I have been following Lisa’s difficult search for a new job with, at times, very deep distress and concern. I know that Lisa has had some detractors on Twitter, perhaps suggesting she is not doing enough to help herself, and so forth. I simply cannot understand that. With more than half a century under my belt now, and a day job which brings into regular contact with sharks, con men, the feckless and the mean, I am simply unable to fathom it. All I can see is a woman doing everything she can to try to get back on her feet and hold a roof over her head, largely alone and sometimes scared to death.  In fact I know from other sources, not just from Lisa, how fantastically hard she been trying; of the endless job applications, the knock backs, the phone that does not ring, the interview, the second interviews, and the “nearly but no thanks” letters.

I wonder how many of Lisa’s detractors would cope with getting a job in those circumstances as the chill wind of recession whips across the country? I suggest that they should have a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror. I am pretty sure I would not cope. At times it has been heartbreaking stuff, and it even resulted at some point in fears for her safety. Sometimes she has tweeted: “I want my life back”.

I understand that very well. You see, about 10 years ago I suffered a personal tragedy. What that was is neither here nor there now, but it was in essence a bereavement which left me crushed and utterly bereft. It affected my thinking. That tragedy led directly or indirectly to a relationship and marriage which was wholly financially ruinous.

Thus, in my mid forties from having been an independent, comfortably off chap I found I had sleep walked into a maze of duplicity, deceit and above all – debt. I was nearly bankrupt. I had no income, and I was effectively homeless. I had to depend on relatives for a bed. I retreated a little from the world. I found some therapy in writing and by a series of accidents, Gildas the Monk was born.  I think in my despair I may even have tweeted something along the lines of: “I want my life back”.

Ever since then, I have lived in the shadow of that debt, of commitments I was lured or cajoled into, and the fear of homelessness. So I know what it is like to wake up afraid, and go to sleep afraid. I have begun to rebuild my life and my career, step by painful little step. But there are days, even this week, when anxiety settles on me like a thick blanket. It is not depression as such. It is a sickening and wearing presence. I cope. And I am beginning to overcome it.

However I had two advantages Lisa did not have. First, I am highly professionally qualified and can use those qualifications for good money. Secondly, I had some family to stand by me and not see me turned out on the street. Lisa does not appear to me to have had either of those. So her courage has been all the greater than mine.

The Universe is a strange place, and God moves in mysterious ways. The medium of Twitter has brought Lisa some help. A small, almost underground network of supporters has been sending things. Gift vouchers here, a little help with petrol to get to the job interview there. A delivery of food now to make sure that she does not go short and Lisa and Lilah can have a decent meal and a treat now and again there (and yes she was). People have helped keep her car on the road so she can get to interviews. One kind soul bunged her £80 to help upgrade her camera, and a couple of blokes are going to help her sort out her utility bill arrears so she can actually put the heating on. Someone has arranged for some coal. I don’t have much, for the reasons above, but I have done what I can.

Chris, Julie, Carole and the others – well done!

The camera bit, by the way, is very important. Lisa is a very keen and able photographer, and has obtained a voluntary unpaid role taking sports photographs for the local Woking paper and other places. A very good move that, because it is just the sort of thing that can lead to an introduction and paid work. But Lisa was distraught that the quality of camera was not up to scratch for the professional pictures the paper needed. The camera upgrade has brought better pictures, new focus and new hope.

In an ideal world, Lisa would be able to turn her hobby into a successful business. Of course, such is the nature of the crazy economy that she can’t get any funding. But we shall see. You can judge the quality of Lisa’s work for yourself here.

 http://lisaharding.info/

And on a wider front, what spiritual or philosophical lessons can we take from all this, if any at all, other than that life is a bitch at times? Well maybe therein lies the rub.

I was raised a Catholic. When I was a young boy I would be dragged off to a Church of a Sunday. I didn’t like it much. It seemed a gloomy place. More importantly, I could not fathom what discernable use there was in any of this. The message seemed to be: it’s OK to be poor and miserable. In fact it might even be a good thing because you would get more goodies in the hereafter.

Having reflected much over the past years, I think that that this, along with about 99% of what the worlds’ religions formally teach, is utter rubbish. In fact, it is wholly misconceived and dangerous.

There is a substantial work called “A Course in Miracles.” It is a mix of aphorism, stanzas and written in a slightly St James’ Bible style. It is a curious and compelling work.

The miracles it is talking about do not consist of a giant hand coming down from the sky and fixing things. Rather it talks about “God” in complex and subtle psychological terms, and the miracle is a change in perspective and focus on the world, and through that change in perspective, a new paradigm can arise.

That is so important that I am going to ay it again The miracle is a change in perspective and focus on the world, and through that change in perspective, a new paradigm can arise.

In the context of The Course, Heaven and Hell are not something in an afterlife. They are descriptions of our present experiences. A great advocate and exponent of the Course is the writer and speaker Marianne Williams. She sums it up in this way:

“Fear in your mind produces fear in your life. This is the meaning of Hell. Love in your mind produces love in your life. That is the meaning of Heaven”.

That makes a lot more sense that anything I ever heard from the pulpit.

I can say then, that both Lisa and I have been to Hell. And I am sure everyone reading this blog has; addictions, anger, attack, abuse; all are founded in the absence of love. As I am finally beginning understand, what the Course teaches is that the “miracle” is the change in the way you think. On one very simple level it is saying that what you focus on will perpetuate and expand. Therefore, you would be wise to focus on love and what you love, and that will expand in your life as things that cause fear fade away. It is not just that you can look at a glass as half full or half empty, but that if you look on it as half full it will get fuller.

We all suffer our own personal crucifixions. I have alluded to mine, and have set out what might be called Lisa’s crucifixion above. But the lesson of Jesus’ crucifixion is this: there is no storm that does not cease. There is no Hitler who ultimately wins out. Whether we want to overcome our personal crucifixions after three days or thirty years is a matter for us. Because with the change of perception that the Course suggest, there can be extraordinary change from an abundant Universe which will work in harmony with and for you. That is something we have forgotten; it is killed out of us by conditioning. You just have to remember it and change your thinking towards and about the world.

“What is lacking shall become abundant, and what is wounded shall be healed. From “out if the blue” – or miracle mindedness – miracles shall flow forth naturally”

Marianne Williamson

“Miracles are natural. When they do not happen something has gone wrong”

The Course

Gildas the Monk    

Jill November 30, 2012 at 14:56

My husband is bi-polar. Quite seriously so – to the point of a suicide
attempt during a low and the need for constant supervision (don’t let him
anywhere near the credit card and drive him everywhere) during major highs. He
has never been out of work in the twenty years since I met him. You might say
that is proof positive that it’s possible to work when you have this condition
and if you don’t, you’re a scrounger. What people don’t realise is the amount
of maintenance needed and how crucial it is that every aspect of someone’s
life is properly catered for. Without constant vigilance from a spouse (or
close family), COMBINED with an enlightened employer prepared to make
adjustments, COMBINED with a commited GP/mental health service, there is no
way my husband could have led a productive (and happy) life. If any one of
those had let him down, it would have been lights out.

Julie November 28, 2012 at 15:31

What a wonderful piece, I agree with everything you say

Ray Downing November 27, 2012 at 01:33

The concept of the necessary change of perspective (or heart or mind) to
achieve a new paradigm is described in the original Greek of the New Testament
as ‘metanoia’. Unfortunately this has traditionally been rendered into English
as ‘repent’, a word with conotations of guilt and sin not stressed in the
original.

On the subject of positive thinking, the opening lines of the Buddhist
Dhammapada say it all: “What we are today comes from our thoughts of
yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is
the creation of our mind.”

Ted Treen November 26, 2012 at 13:45

Gildas, a very well-written piece, showing despair yet still having hope
ultimately shining through.

It is axiomatic (almost) that a loving life is very rewarding yet so many
consider the opposite of love to be hate. In some cases, it will be – but
there are times when both of these strong emotions can have a common root. The
REAL opposite of love is indifference – leaving those feeling unloved to have
such feelings of hopelessness, loneliness and despair.

Showing you care about anyone else does not have to an expensive
self-sacrificing flamboyant gesture: to many people, a simple greeting with a
sincere smile can be the difference between them feeling total solitude and
not feeling completely alone. Practical help is generally appreciated –
whatever you can manage, or feel like managing, but even then, just a small
thing can help someone in despair to realise someone cares, and possibly
slowly begin to leave their black dog.

As the Chinese have said before, “A journey of 1,000 miles starts with a
single step”.

Able November 26, 2012 at 10:57

This struck a chord with me having faced similar circumstances (made
homeless, massive debts run up in my name by ex-partner, unable to find
employment despite professional qualifications due to false, baseless and
proved to be so, allegations by said ex – but there’s no smoke without fire,
women don’t lie, etc. and then developing a chronic debilitating condition –
life is great at times!).

The thing which I took from the story is that, despite all the many and
uncountable stories to the contrary, there are still a large number of people
who will, without a second thought, do their best to help even a stranger (not
a majority, if that was ever true, but a significant number). It happened to
me and each episode I read, or hear, about refreshes my ‘faith in my fellow
man’ – which you have to admit can take a knocking just reading the daily
news.

As to Sauls comment I have to disagree. The person sitting with begging
bowl in hand has chosen to push their situation into everyones face and ask
for their help. From what little I am aware of Lisa has done nothing but
continue in posting her long term comments as her situation deteriorated,
asking for nothing (having tried to cope on my own, no family or local
friends, the simple act of exchanging emails with an interested stranger has a
major effect on how you can cope with lifes trials – the simple fact that
someone knows and acknowledges that you have it bad helps). That people chose
to help speaks well of them without detracting from her. I’m sure it wasn’t
meant in such a way but the fact that without ‘begging’ some people will still
hold out their hands to help is not so unusual that it warrants a slur, is
it?

Just Sayin’

Saul November 26, 2012 at 11:32

Perhaps “begging” was a poor choice of word, but not everyone has a
Twitter account or access 24/7 to an Internet connected computer. The point
I was trying to make was that somehow it was made into a different scenario
to what normally brings scorn to the individual on the street, as opposed to
an online persona. My loose change regularly goes into styrofoam cups, I
don’t judge the individual, just consider their situation.

Able November 26, 2012 at 12:42

Understood. I wasn’t intending to nit-pick. I didn’t have web access,
it was an acquaintance of an acquaintance who ‘out of the blue’ offered
assistance after hearing what had happened (I have to admit I’m still
mortified with embarrassment with ‘having’ to accept help, to ‘ask’ would
have been unbearable).

You consider the individual and consider what could have led to there
situation. The thing I was (badly?) trying to point out is that perhaps
you, in helping, are not as unusual as we’ve all been cynically led to
believe.

Observor November 25, 2012 at 22:35

Nice to hear a positive story about Twitter !

I feel for Lisa and the Lisa’s of the world. It’s a time of enormous change
and much of it is negative such as the rampant corporatism combined with the
pressure of a media that loves to perpetuate the insane ‘pull yourself up by
your own bootstraps’ mentality (just as the bankers did :not).

Mina Field November 25, 2012 at 22:13

I do like the ‘fear in your mind…..’ quote.

Bellevue November 25, 2012 at 20:37

I would say that you have got this all wrong…. you are confusing ‘religion’
with the teachings of Jesus Christ. Everything Jesus did or spoke of or taught
was about LOVE. He came into this world to show us the LOVE of God for
humanity, and the LOVE of Jesus for each and every one of us.
‘Religion’
has twisted this. But if you, or anyone, seeks the Lord and finds Him (as He
has promised that you will) you will be overwhelmed with the most amazing love
and it will change your life, and your outlook on life.
Unfortunately, so
many of us (me included until a few years’ ago) are blinded to the Truth. It
is all really simple, yet SO complicated. Basically, GOD is yearning for us to
accept Him and His love. Read the Bible and you will see that it is God’s love
letter to the world, and YOU.

Humble Observer
November 25, 2012 at 21:56

“Read the Bible and you will see that it is God’s love letter to the
world…”

Shame about the awkward episode in history where those involved in
translating/printing the ‘Good Book’ (so as to make it available to
‘ordinary folk’ directly) were tortured & murdered for their love of the
‘Truth’.

C G Welburn
November 27, 2012 at 07:57

I have found the following quote to be very true. ‘ Good people do good
things. Bad people do bad things. But only religion can make good people do
bad things.’
The world’s religions do not live up to the most basic of
their teachings. “Love your neighbour as yourself” ??? I don’t think
so.
True spirituality does not need religion. Religion has exploited
spirituality and made a fortune in the process. Caring for the poor ??? I
don’t think so.
According to the Bible, because I was born
illegitimately, I could not be part of the congregation of God. Innocent of
my mother’s crime?? Justice??? I don’t think so.
I was physically abused
and tortured in a Catholic convent. It made my time at Duncroft and Bryn
Estyn seem like a picnic. People committed to serving God ??? I don’t think
so.
I thank the Universe every day that I have a precious day of life
ahead of me – with all its ups and downs and annoying bits – I don’t have
all the answers to what/who looks after me, but I feel cared for and loved
and try to pass that on to both man and beast. A simple philosophy but hard
won.

Brian November 25,
2012 at 17:39

Gildas,
Has Lisa heard about the New Enterprise Allowance scheme?

GildasTheMonk
November 25, 2012 at 20:54

I shall investigate! Thanks for practical commen sense

GildasTheMonk
November 25, 2012 at 20:54

Common, even

Brian November
25, 2012 at 22:18

PS, as bipolar disorder can be considered a disability, Lisa should
make an appointment with the JobcentrePlus Disability Employment Advisor
to see if there are other specific opportunities available. And if Lisa
feels more comfortable taking a friend along for moral support or having
the interview in a private room, that can also be arranged by the
Jobcentre.

Saul November 25, 2012 at 13:38

Sorry you think that way Gildas. I was just trying to point out that
through the medium of Twitter her background is known. Hopefully the next time
the readers pass a poor unfortunate on the street, they will be equally as
charitable.

jerym November 25, 2012 at 16:11

Saul does have a point.
If Lisa had been sitting there with her story
written on a board for all to see would it be as believable

Saul November 25, 2012 at 13:08

I hazard a guess that if she was sat outside her local shops with her dog
and a begging bowl she would be getting slagged off. Does doing it on Twitter
somehow make it different. Just an observation.

GildasTheMonk
November 25, 2012 at 13:26

Now Saul that is unworthy of you.

Roy Fernley November 25, 2012 at 10:44

I agree with the idea that positivity, or seeing the glass half full, is
better than seeing it half empty. There are times though when it seems that
the universe is intent on kicking the crap out of you and at those times it is
just so hard to find anything positive, when misfortune piles upon misfortune.
Experiences can tend to make one see the glass as progressively emptying, a
case of learned behaviour I suppose. It can be damned hard to see the silver
lining around the cloud that hangs over you, especially when there seems to
have been nothing but clouds with the occasional burst of sunlight, the
removal of which becomes another cause to mourn or sorrow.

I suppose that it is at these times that faith, in some form, comes to our
assistance. Whilst part of me wishes to believe (having been baptised and
raised a Roman Catholic) a rational side of me explains away religion and
belief. It would be nice to think that bad things happen to bad people, and
that one can ameliorate one’s situation by prayer or belief and by being good.
Unfortunately my experiences are that bad things happen.

I appreciate that this is somewhat fatalistic and even pessimistic,
regrettably this is how I find myself at this point in time.

Dick the Prick
November 25, 2012 at 10:02

Nice one, Gildas. All the best to Lisa and the pooch

Anna
Raccoon November 25, 2012 at 09:42

I have always been a huge fan of positive thinking – the power of
visualising yourself in a ‘good place’ as opposed to mired in misery. It just
seems intensely logical to me, that if you see yourself in a good place, you
will make the sort of decisions that are likely to lead you there – if not,
you will sub-consciously load the odds against yourself by making decisions
that are self defeating.

Francoise November
25, 2012 at 08:37

Thank you for taking the time to share these reflections – I feel loving
towards you and Lisa and to all of us humans who have trodden those lonely
creaky dark paths – greatly inspiring xx