Who gets the wet patch?
It was last year when our landlady scandalised (possibly) some of our readership with a blog post that began with the immortal opening lines…
“There was a lengthy period of time, during which, thanks to the inimitable Thaddeus J Wilson, Ms Raccoon was the top search result for ‘Reverse Dutch Steamboat’. I have long since forgiven him.
Many and varied were the commentators who arrived from around the world, keen to learn more of this mythical sexual practice whereby, ahem*, another person laid claim to your sh*t before it left your corporeal property, so to speak. Let’s not go any further….!”
https://www.annaraccoon.com/politics/reverse-dutch-steamboat/
Now, I have admit that Madame La Raccoon, being of broad mind and sharp wit, rather enjoyed this unwanted notoriety, and casually hinted that there is nothing wrong with a bit of ambiguity, it being good fun and good for the “ratings”. This has set me to thinking what inappropriately or ambiguously named blogs and posts there are, or might be, but which might disappoint those in search of “stronger stuff”. Here are a few suggestions, some real, some imaginary.
Who gets the wet patch?
A campaigning blog written by “Avian Flo”, complaining about the over population of the south east England and its demand for water, with the adverse affects on natural wetlands and bird life. (Although Google it and you may get directed to a charming conversation at the Cosmopolitan magazine website…)
Sloppy seconds!
Scottish schoolchild’s Una McTweet’s daily blog dealing with the inadequacies of both the quantity and qualities of school food, especially porridge. Recently in the headlines when McTweet (aged 7) was summarily sentenced to three years hard labour in chains by North West Lothian’s Provision of Public, Democratic and Diversity Services Committee for “bringing Socialism into disrepute”. Also an inelegantly named rock band, apparently.
Welcome to the Dogging Community
News and views on Crufts and other dog shows by a grammatically challenged cynophilist known only as “The Mutt’s Nuts”. Sponsored by the Korean Embassy.
Free Willy!
Slightly out of date film review by one “James Whale”.
Meet Swingers In Your Area Tonight
Social and dating site for golfers. Login, post a picture of your 9 iron and Pringle sweaters in the box provided, and off you go.
Ass bandits
Spanish policeman “Comisario Gadget” blogs about his investigation of donkey riding smugglers in Andalucía and the effects of out of date paella.
Sex on the beach
Elegant cocktail recipes.
http://www.in-the-spirit.co.uk/cocktails/view_cocktail.php?id=232
Gang, Bang!
An insight into the world of “Scuttlers”, Victorian street gangs who made Mods and Rockers look like Jehovah’s Witnesses. On this very site, and from your author!
https://www.annaraccoon.com/politics/gang-bang/
And finally, last but not least, it had to happen, it just had to…
Muff Diving!
Oh yes! The official site of the “scuba diving school” in the “picturesque village” of Muff, Donegal. And yes, it really does exist:
Right, over to you Raccoonistas. More suggestions, real or imagined please?
Gildas the Monk
July 30, 2012 at 06:59
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Excellent stuff. There really is nothing to compare with a good innuendo,
as my Italian friends say.
- July 27, 2012 at 19:16
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Better get a move on love,77 and counting
- July 27, 2012 at 15:53
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This reverse dutch steam boat is it that red olympic logo thingy?
- July 27, 2012 at 16:07
- July 26, 2012 at 16:01
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Some time ago, it may still exist, there was a gun club near Halifax
called, if I remember rightly, “The Cock, Ball, Nipple and Touch-hole Club” –
all apparently components of old muskets. Or so they said !
-
July 26, 2012 at 10:29
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I use a hot glue gun to fix my piles. Piles being the archery term for the
pointy bits at the front of an arrow. As for ‘knocking my shaft’ I will leave
that to the fertile imagination of the inhabitants of the snug.
- July 26, 2012 at 09:54
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Members (snigger) of my profession will be well aquainted with screwing
machines – devices used in the manufacture of bolts and other threaded
fasteners, disappointingly. It’s also true that such things as piston rods
reciprocate in glands, which must of course be well lubricated.
-
July 26, 2012 at 09:47
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Fudge Packing! The travails of a small team of cardboard-box folders when
new automated sweet-wrapper manufacturing machinery threatens to make them
redundant.
Hard Sports – how to play golf on a difficult links course.
Sorry a bit scatological there…
- July 26, 2012 at 08:59
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Fans of “ISIHAC” will know that a perfectly innocent double -entendre
always follows the statement “Samantha has to go now…”
http://www.ivorysky.com/isihac/index.php
- July 26, 2012 at 01:27
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Tame stuff compared to the above, but every time I drive through Guilford I
see the estate agents office Gascoine Pees and wonder.
And then, a bit
north of Valencia is Peniscola, on the outskirts of which is Penis garden
centre, right by the highway.
Endless teenage sniggers from Annette Mills
(I think) and Muffin the Mule.
Finally the lovely SA guy who did naval
service and proudly told us he was a seaman gunner.
- July 25, 2012 at 22:26
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I once saw a lovely book entitled ‘Sex in the Garden’ in a secondhand sale.
Unfortunatly I wasn’t quick enough and it was bought by someone in front of
me. It was of course about plant husbandry!
- July 25, 2012 at 21:19
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Come Dancing – the site for those who take a tad too literally the
definition that dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal
desire.
Strictly Come Dancing – the site for the above, but only those who
have read ’50 Shades of Grey’ without laughing.
Seaman Staines – the site for Captain Pugwash fans anxious to know when he
last went down below to Roger the cabin-boy.
Tamara Knight – the site for procrastinating wives.
- July 26, 2012 at 09:58
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I seem to recall a ship’s Master named Bates had a small part in ‘Captain
Pugwash’.
- July 25, 2012 at 21:16
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Many, many years ago, there was the naive genuine advertisement “Mrs
MacGregor gets her oats at the Co-op”
- July 25,
2012 at 20:53
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Slightly OT, but I have been waiting to post this for 40 years … In Leeds
when Ah wor a nipper like, Leeds buses carried advertising above the inside of
the windows. One was for a delightful-looking gentleman named M A Hamid, who
described himself as a ‘Hypnotherapist’. On every single copy the word was
divided into three by biro lines. I can’t see the word ‘rapist’ today without
thinking of Old Hypno, The Rapist. Childish, I know. Thank you for
listening.
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