The Shame of The Pride.
All stressed up and nowhere to go – they’ve spent months ironing their frocks, saving up for a full body wax, and moisturising their little tootsie’s, and now they are faced with a national disaster. Peter Tatchell says that come Saturday week, the West End of London will be filled with ‘hundreds of thousands’ of ‘confused’ gays ‘wandering aimlessly’. He gives us no clue as to how we are supposed to tell the difference from any other Saturday night, but there you go.
It’s all the fault of the nasty old authorities. Or it might be the fault of the Unions and the likes of Tesco’s (every little hurts) who haven’t stumped up enough cash fast enough. It’s certainly not the fault of the thousands of gays who were expecting a bonanza street party paid for by all and sundry. Absolutely not.
Apparently the little darlings get so over excited at the likes of Deborah Cox (who she?) in her fishnet tights and size 12 patent leather boots mincing round the Barclaycard sponsored stand in Trafalgar Square, that extra crash barriers have to be put in place to stop the hyperventilating hordes from reaching out an exquisite finger and poking her in the back side – and those crash barriers have to be paid for in advance.
The World Pride organisers haven’t got the cash in advance (‘it’s been promised darling’) (there is the small matter of a £65,000 bill still outstanding from last years ‘do’) and so the only way they can have their party is if Boris Johnson agrees to a ‘commissioner’s order’ which effectively turns the event into a ‘protest meeting’ and totally different regulations.
The floats have been cancelled (and I’ve been sewing sequins onto my Mardi Gras outfit for months, months!), the open topped stretch limo for the hierarchy cancelled, and the ‘Family area’ in Soho is going to have to get on with it by themselves – the mind boggles.
What London will get instead – for the event itself has not been cancelled, just the entertainment which had to be paid for – is a ‘million plus’ gays milling around the West End looking ‘confused’. Peter’s words, not mine.
Don’t worry Peter – there is an app for that. Boris Johnson’s sister’s husband (d’you want a second to read that again?) who is now the Editor of The Lady magazine, has rushed out a National Trust guide for the terminally confused in Soho. Downloaded onto your iPad, the stately monuments to hedonistic pleasures can wander around listening to Molly Parkin describing Francis Bacon’s sado-masochistic tendencies. It’ll make the party go with a bang, I promise you, and there’ll still be lots of handsome young men in uniforms looking like the village people with their gay pride badges, because the rest of us still have to pay for the extra police on duty…
Now dry your eyes, your mascara will run.
Anybody got any idea how I get the Unions to pay for a Dogger’s Pride event? It’ll be a wonderful PR opportunity for them.
July 5, 2012 at 14:32
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Bloody hell, why is it every time Gay Pride happens you get people trotting
out the same tired old lines about “special treatment” and “hetero pride”?
It is a FESTIVAL and CELEBRATION, the same as Notting Hill Carnival and any
number of other festivals celebrating diversity in this country. A lot of the
people who attend aren’t even gay. Just go and see for yourself.
Public subsidy of the march was stopped years ago and it’s now mostly paid
for through tickers, sponsors and so forth.
If you want a “hetero pride” then why don’t you go any organise one? They
have similar “love fest” marches in other countries around the world. Why not
here?
And as for “special treatment”, since when did gay people ask for any more
rights than anyone else?
The whole thing just smacks of thinly veiled homophobia. Why shouldn’t one
subsection of the community be able to celebrate in the same way that you
would presumably be quite happy for other minority groups to celebrate? Or
maybe you just feel left out.
- July 1, 2012 at 20:44
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I have written to Peter Tatchell to ask if he would offer any support,
financial or otherwise, for my Hetero Pride March in which the participants
are expected to wear T-shirts proclaiming “I shag women “(for the men) or “I
shag men” (for the women) and the colour pink is banned – apart from those
turning up in the nude, but that’s another story. So far, I have had no reply,
though I am sure that his response is in the post. Surprisingly, there has
also been a marked lack of apparent interest from all the major financial
organisations, department stores and supermarkets, though Ali’s Islamic Bazaar
has ofered me a bag full of stones he didn’t use last year. I do believe that
this is merely an oversight and nothing to do with any rumours of
non-heterosexual proclivites being given priorities by the great and good. If
I don’t receive anything soon, it will be down to me and Freda and, to be
honest, I’m not that certain about Freda!
- July 2, 2012 at 12:50
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“…and the colour pink is banned – apart from those turning up in the
nude…”
Your obvious unashamed colorism implies that black and brown nudists will
be unwelcome at your event. Hmm. I shall be taking this matter up with that
nice Mr Lee Jasper or, if he’s still out looking for a new job, with one of
the Guardian’s victimism correspondents.
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July 2, 2012 at 16:47
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Um.
Who’s going to point out to Edwin that the meaning of penseivat’s
“pink” is nothing to do with the colour of attendees race…
- July 3, 2012 at
07:41
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I rather suspect that Edwin already knows that. You might, however,
have usefully reminded him that heavy-handed irony or parody is always
in danger of being taken at face value — even when carefully
well-signalled.
So it goes.
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July 2, 2012 at 17:05
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Black and brown nudists would most certainly be welcome, but they
wouldn’t be pink, would they? Well, parts of ‘em might be but unless I
really get to know them better, I’ll have to just assume it – I certainly
won’t be going looking for it! Can I put your name down?
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June 30, 2012 at 08:52
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Doggers unite! AGM in a car park just off the A3 near Guildford on
Wednesday night, 11.00 pm. Flash your lights twice!
- July 1, 2012 at 20:46
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It’s not the A3, it’s the Hog’s Back in the layby on the Guildford to
Farnham side. Don’t worry about the Plod, as they’ve been given instructions
to leave the site alone due to Human Rights issues. Give George and Stan my
regards.
- June 30, 2012 at 08:22
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Having just looked at the Pink News puff (poof?) quote, I’m outraged to
find that these pointless buggers have misappropriated another part of the
English language for their own nefarious ends, namely, London Pride. I’m a
harmless old git who would never hurt a fly, but really, to traduce my tipple
of choice that I quietly sip in “The Arms” whilst enjoying the company of
wiser souls, in the cause of mincing about and looking bloody silly as they do
so….. They can keep “Gay” for all I care, but I draw the line at Fuller’s
noble product.
- June 30, 2012 at 11:29
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You make a fair point, Sir. Even I with my northern prejudices and taste
for the offerings of Jennings, Robinson’s, the Black Sheep brewery and our
local Weetwood, have to concede that as namby-pamby southern brews go,
Fuller’s London Pride is not a bad pint at all.
- June 30, 2012 at 06:40
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I knew you were going to write about this. My dreams last night were
permeated by the sound of an axe being ground.
This in as an accurate description of the farce as I could find, in case
anyone is interested:
From the comments, it would appear most gays are pissed of by the cock-up
(fnar fnar) that’s been left until the very last minute and has been caused by
the completely lackadaisical Pride organising committee. With this being the
inaugural World Pride, there is more to this than a simply snide blog post can
probably cover.
However, in my dreams, I leave Anna, Peter Tatchell (who only makes sense
on a random basis, admittedly) and the complete arses of the World Pride
organising committee locked in a room for six hours while I wander around
blissfully enjoying the chaos of the city.
P.S. “Queer As Fuck” offensive…? My favourite t-shirt was one produced by
Homocore a good few years ago. I won’t sully your genteel imaginations with
such gross filth, but it made me laugh as it played into so many prejudices in
just one t-shirt! I’m not sure if it’s available to Google, but I’m sure your
active minds can fill in any gaps.
- June 30, 2012 at 02:00
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What a f-arse.
- June 30, 2012 at 00:53
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Why isn’t there a Gaypal account set up already? If there’s really going to
be 100,000s of “them”, a small donation from each would ensure the
entertainment goes ahead.
- June 30, 2012 at 06:33
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June 29, 2012 at 23:17
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I thought Peter Thatchell wrote The Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy. Am I
wrong about this? Mind you, it was funny.
- June 29,
2012 at 20:29
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I went to the rally in Trafalgar Sq 5 or 6 years back – an author whose
works I like was signing books up the road in Forbidden Planet so I thought
I’d have a look in. Peter Tatchell, in his speech, said something along the
lines of they should be ‘working to ensure that LGBT people are well
represented amongst the workforce of the companies involved in the Olympics
preparation’. Taking that to be the sort of earnest stupidity on show at these
events I haven’t bothered going again.
- June
30, 2012 at 14:34
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‘earnest stupidity’ – excellently put!
While nobody could deny that prejudice still exists, that isn’t the way
to tackle it.
Compare this po-faced quota-seeking rhetoric with the sight, observed at
Vancouver Pride a few years ago, of Police, Fire and Ambulance staff and
city officials chatting good-humouredly with passers-by – both gay and
straight – at recruitment stands strategically positioned along the route of
the march.
- June 29,
2012 at 18:27
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“…and poking her in the back side…”
But wait, I… *confused*
*bites tongue*
- June 29,
2012 at 16:55
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Can we have a day to celebrate Mother’s Pride please? If there’s no money for a parade we’ll
manage with a toast.
- June 29, 2012 at 17:12
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You want jam on it, you do.
- June 29, 2012 at 17:26
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That was funny. It made I larf.
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June 29, 2012 at 19:06
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Crumbs….
- June 29,
2012 at 19:48
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Today and tomorrow if I’m not paying.
- June 29, 2012 at 16:49
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Mainly in reply to Ramtops;
If minority groups want to have a shindig, fine – provided they don’t
expect other people to pay for it. If they didn’t settle the bill last time,
why should anyone expect any different this time?
- June 29, 2012 at 17:15
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Totally concur. You want it. You pay for it. Can’t afford it. Don’t have
it. Simples.
- June 29, 2012 at 19:27
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Mr Tatchell has always seemed a bit creepy to me.
Gays I know
wouldn’t be seen dead at such an occasion, but what I’d really like to
know is are there OTT carnivals for raving heteros?
Just wondered.
- June 29, 2012 at 19:44
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Nice comment Engineer. These b@st**ds always want special treatment
and someone else to pay for it.
Bill Sticker. Spot on.
Binao. Dead
right about “the satchel”.
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June 30, 2012 at 08:41
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“OTT carnivals for raving heteros?… any sports event you care to
name, any festival you care to name (there are loads up and down the
country, V festival, T in the park, Reading etc), Notting Hill Carnival…
or even on more genteel levels – Glyndebourne, Aldeburgh, Hay on Wye…
My point being, there are “festival/events” which cater to lots of
“special interest” groups at which any person, gay or straight, can
participate, although the huge majority will represent the population as
a whole and will, therefore, be predominantly straight.
The same is true for Gay Pride, but with the proportions reversed.
It’s a hoot if you like to look at people enjoying their lives and
taking a holiday from the daily grind, once a year.
- June 30, 2012 at 09:13
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Agreed. The point is why should they expect others to pay the
majority of the cost?
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June 30, 2012 at 09:48
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Friend of Dog: They don’t. They seek sponsorship from interested
parties and individuals. Just like those other festivals I mentioned,
and even every football club in the country. I believe (but may be
wrong here), they have to pay towards policing costs etc… just like
the others. It’s just that those organising this year do not seem
capable of organising an orgy in a brothel and have failed to do the
job they were supposed to (i.e. raise funds and organise).
- June 30, 2012 at 09:54
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All this judgementalism. We are very likely to cause conniptions.
Hysterics, even. Just think of all that man-mascara running down
those chubby cheeks. Its enough to have a young(ish) pretty-boy tear
his hair.
- June 29, 2012 at 16:27
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What a nasty, snide piece of writing.
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June 29, 2012 at 15:56
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I have no axe to grind about homosexuals, cross dressers, transsexuals or,
for that matter, heterosexuals. What I object to is some members of the last
Gay Pride march that I witnessed wearing T shirts bearing the legend “Queer as
Fuck”. I found that very offensive and insulting.
- June 29, 2012 at 16:02
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June 29, 2012 at 15:42
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OMG. Thanks for telling me, Mz Raccoon. I could off missed that.
PS. Can anyone give me a lift?
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June 29, 2012 at 20:30
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A ‘shirt’ lift?
- June 29, 2012 at 23:10
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How frightfully clever of you. I thought no one would notice.
{ 37 comments }