On the road to nowhere
I have the last stone to go. I have shifted about 20 pounds, and got down to about 15 stone, which is about a stone over a reasonably fit “fighting weight” for me.
I have achieved this by sticking (mostly) to a low GI diet of good fresh protein and vegetables, and very long periods of rowing and treadmill jogging and some weight lifting at the gym. Pity about the love of fine red wine, but there we go. That is worth a stone, I know that.
Anyway, it was time to really “up the anti” and start road running. This seemed me to have the advantages of being free, consuming a lot of calories and time and most importantly getting out into the open air. Gyms are OK, but fresh air is as important as lifting lots of weights, so I decided to aim for a 10 K target.
How hard could it be? I used to run like the wind!
Very hard, actually. Apart from the fact that over the past couple of weeks all training has stopped because of a nasty “man flu” and a subsequent chest infection, it wasn’t working anyway. I was finding it very difficult to run. In football terms, “fair play to the lads but my legs have gone, son”. If I was a race horse I would be on my way to the glue factory. It is not was question of lacking energy or commitment, but there was just no spring in my step and I am so slow that I couldn’t see any progress.
What to do? I really wanted to get out in the evening and spend an hour of more, unrestricted by the early shutting time of my gym (8.00 pm) and in that vital fresh air!
I thought about cycling, but I just know what would happen round here. A lorry, that’s what. Some great big wagon carrying steel girders would render me into jam, or some idiot boy racer high on weed would shunt me not too delicately into A and E, or an early appointment with the Grim Reaper.
But the Lord works in mysterious ways. A chance conversation reminded me that they make “rolling roads” for winter cycle training. After a quick bit of internet research via Amazon I found a universally praised and reasonably priced “turbo trainer” (£65). It arrived promptly and looked a very sturdy bit of kit. You fix your bike to the steel bracket, the rear tire goes on the little rolling road, and Hey Presto! You are on the road to nowhere in your garden, garage, or in the front room. You can do the Tour de France whilst watching Eastenders, should you desire. I don’t.
Next my search for a bike. I just wanted a normal one, nothing flashy. But there were complications. First it needed to be a reasonably large frame, because I am 6”2. Second, I didn’t want to spend too much, so I wanted a second hand one really. Third, it had to have “quick release” wheels to fit on the aforesaid turbo trainer thingy. That put the price of new bikes up quite a lot, as it seemed to me.
In the old days I would just have gone to a local second hand shop, like where I got my first racing bike when I was about 8. There seem to be less of these about now (is that because of E-Bay?) but we still have got one. I looked, but no there was no bike that fitted the third and vital requirement.
Amazon proved a no go. The new bikes that fitted my requirements were all terribly expensive for what basically was a mileage machine designed to sit in garden. E-Bay proved surprisingly difficult too. Once again most of the bikes seemed new and very expensive (£400 plus), and many second hand bikes had to be collected and were too far away. There was a surprisingly small gene pool to choose from and I lost out in couple of auctions. It seemed that me that my dream of finding a simple, practical robust bike for about £50 was not going to happen.
Eventually I found a bike. It looked a bit scruffy and quite expensive (£140) for its age, but hell I just wanted to get going and the seller promised prompt parcel delivery, so with my decisive head on (the one that does all the rash, unplanned things that always go wrong!) I took the plunge and offered the asking price.
True to the seller’s word it arrived within the promised three days, all well packed.
There was good news and bad news though. The bad news was that the bike was a bit of an antique, so that there was a problem reassembling it. The pedals would no longer screw comfortably onto the crank arm. I was worried that it might end up costing me more to repair than to buy. However, a visit to the local bike shop has fixed that for a fiver, so that’s not too bad so far.
But the good news is that it is a collector’s piece, a “Claud Butler” bicycle. I had no idea what that was, but apparently it is a style icon of its period and very collectable, the E-Type Jag of its day. Serious bike collectors love them.
And it IS a stylish thing. My father, who is now quite old, came to look at it. When he was young “Claud Butler” was the ultimate statement of cycling design and chic. So as ever there is nothing “normal” in my life. Not for me an ordinary bike to do a job! No, I have to go and “do a Lovejoy” and buy a collectors piece by accident. Perhaps there will be intrigues, crime, comedic plots, exotic women and a happy ending to boot. Probably not though.
So I have now set it up on the rolling road machine. I shall peddle away to my heart’s content. Perhaps I will build in a run to my work out, doing a circular course around the park and back home.
Furiously peddling, going nowhere. Running round in circles.
It strikes me that this is the perfect metaphor for my life.
Gildas the Monk
-
June 11, 2012 at 13:06 -
Fitness Fanatics: some spend 5% of their adult life trying to extend their life-expectancy by 2.5%.
-
June 11, 2012 at 14:26 -
When I was wee the stylish bike to have was a chopper
-
June 11, 2012 at 18:23 -
Ditto!
-
-
June 11, 2012 at 14:39 -
1) Pedalling.
2) “Up the ante”.
Apart from that, an inspiring post. Me, I’m 13st 9, was 13st 2 this time last year,should be 12st8, and the old Reebok rower in the back room is going to have to be dusted off.
Not. Looking. Forward. To. It.Oh, a Claud Butler with drops was the absolute bollocks when I was a kid. You lucky, lucky git.
Annual cardiac review next Thursday, they’re going to stick the boot in for that extra 1/2 stone.-
June 11, 2012 at 16:50 -
Thanks for picking me up! HA! I didnt realise at all what a Claud Butker was, but it is a fine looking think. And I can bash out an hour with the radio on which is great. As is not being flattened by a lorry! Good luck
-
-
June 11, 2012 at 15:02 -
Road running I advise against. It will destroy your ankles and your knees, neither of which sets of joints are designed to be used to death on hard surfaces. You’d be better off on an exercise bike. And you’d also have far less risk of being knocked over by a cretin.
Really. Don’t do it.
-
June 11, 2012 at 16:51 -
Jeremy
I have little book called “”Running over 40″ which seems to suggest I will be OK if i build up slowly. Are you sure that I should be quite so averse?
G the M-
June 11, 2012 at 18:24 -
Running on grass might be better for you?
-
June 18, 2012 at 21:23 -
‘Running on grass..’ might be better… if you don’t tread in dog $#’/ while doing it!!
-
-
June 12, 2012 at 12:02 -
I’m 57 and did the “Couch potato to 5K program over 9 weeks ” without too much problem – 3 sessions/week – must have a rest day between running sessions to let joints recover Do go and get measured for and have video gait analysis to buy the right running shoes for you. Corrects pronation etc , get appropriate degree of cushioning etc – that was the best possible advice – joints have been fine with some mid range (£75) shoes
– A reasonable priced treadmill was about £450 and supplements gym visits – BUT best discovery of all is this – crank the treadmill up to max elevation ( 15% ) and walking at 7km/h burns 1000 calories/hour nearly twice the calories that running at 1% at 10km/hr does – with NO hard impact on joints. Stepper at 60-65 spm is also good – set your self challenges like the equivalent of Three Peaks in vertical ascent building up to Ben Nevis in one go 1400m ascent-
June 12, 2012 at 12:27 -
That is great advice all round especially re the treadmill
Thanks
G -
June 13, 2012 at 12:18 -
I did an hour on a treadmill at a hotel not so long ago. Starting slowly I cranked it up over ten minutes or so to max slope and 4mph. I was roasting after an hour (not the room temperature, but from my efforts). The energy was almost flaming off.
Unfortunately I was stupid enough to be doing it barefoot so I had blisters and sore feet for a week after.
-
-
-
June 16, 2012 at 00:28 -
One of my friends would agree with you blaming the damage to his knees on road running: the other few hundred road runners that I know would not. The risk of being knocked by a cretin always exists – it’s happened to me twice in sixty years – once walking across a zebra crossing in a street that was empty when I started and once on a road closed to traffic during a marathon (by a Volvo each time) but I’ve run more times than I have walked across zebras so my experience would imply that road running is less risky than using a zebra crossing! By the time I got up the Volvo was several yards in front and accelerating and I wasn’t fast enough to catch it up and give the driver a piece of my mind, but I was able to finish the race.
-
-
June 11, 2012 at 15:43 -
Great post, you’ve inspired me to research turbo trainers to use with my Dawes Ace but the 20″ wheel is a problem. So it will either be cycling al fresco when the rain stops or make one myself and use it to charge a car battery.
Off topic, but any progress on the story of your friend with a dog and the LibDems?-
June 11, 2012 at 18:55 -
I commend the turbo trainer I found on amazon; sturdy and pretty smoth. Check out the reviews on Amazon.
I am pleased say the said lady has found a job and been saved from ruin!-
June 11, 2012 at 20:22 -
GTM,
That’s brilliant news! Please pass on my congratulations to the lady and her dog.
As for the£65 turbo trainer, I’m sure it deserves its five stars but my bike wheel is 6″ too short to fit the friction bits – so I’d be riding downhill, which is too much like real life.
-
-
-
June 11, 2012 at 15:54 -
“some idiot boy racer high on weed would shunt me not too delicately into A and E”
‘Thanks’ to Lillians law,our overlords think this will not happen so much.
I’ve not read the details,I’m sure its a heart rending tale about a lovely girl senselessly killed before her time by a selfish lout – just hearing the general gist from my dealer was depressing enough.It came into force up here in the area formally known as Cleveland on June 1st.
Basically,a roadside forehead swab detects THC in your system,you lose your driving licence for a year.THC takes about 3 months to leave your body.I suppose a lot of your readers will say ‘good thing too’.As in most human vices,theres always a small minority who spoil it for the vast majority of sensible smokers.You say you like red wine.How would you feel about losing your car for a year because you had a glass of bordeaux 3 months ago?
Unlike passive tobacco smoking,if you are in the company of someone smoking a joint,that joint will affect you.If you can smell it,it’s in your system.That’s your driving buggered for the next 3 – 4 months because you socialised with your dope smoking mate,or you went to a party where a joint was smoked in the same room as you,or you smelt a joint as you walked past the queue outside the Vortex club.If you test positive, you just know the cops are going to immediately connect A to Z and assume you’re the local drug baron – that’s your house getting ransacked at 7.30 in the morning while your wife is getting the kids ready for school.
They tried something similar back in the mid/late 90′s.I was a motorbike courier in London at the time.It was a big talking point among us couriers.I never heard a dope smoking courier say -’well it looks like it’s time to stop smoking’.It seems most of them did what I did – I told my boss that if this law came to pass, I would be looking for another job the same day.At the next guild meeting (or whatever it is) the courier industry told the rest of London that normal business would grind to a halt if this swab bullshit came into law.It never did.Until now.Apologies for not being on topic.I needed to get it off my chest..None of the usual suspects in the libertarian blogging world have picked up on Lillians Law – I guess I saw an opportunity and blurted my druggy bollocks.
Nice bike – I had mine stolen in the mid 80s.I never realised till now that my dad had bought me a quality bit of kit..it got me from a to b and that’s all that mattered.-
June 11, 2012 at 18:27 -
“Unlike passive tobacco smoking,if you are in the company of someone smoking a joint,that joint will affect you.If you can smell it,it’s in your system.”
That’s me stuffed then! Barely a week goes by I don’t walk past someone who smells as if he’s shampooed himself in the stuff…
-
-
June 11, 2012 at 16:44 -
Have you considered a mountain bike for some off road stuff? I’ve found a course which is a bit “up hill and down dale” of about 10k and it’s awesome save for pursuit by the odd untethered dog.
-
June 11, 2012 at 16:54 -
I may have a go: I got this bike specifically for training at home in , but I see that a certain Supermarket is selling quite robust looking mountain bikes for a very reasonable rates, and they are also much easier to find second hand, so I may become an off roader.
-
June 12, 2012 at 07:49 -
Google “bicycle shaped object” before you buy a cheap bike from the supermarket. You might find your supermarket bargain buy isn’t such a bargain after all.
-
-
-
June 11, 2012 at 17:33 -
Off road is the way to go. There’s canals, and you can bike along the towpath (get a free permit from BWB), disused railways converted into great cycleways, and there’s a ton of bridleways and cycle paths. I do a lot of this while geocaching, and the worst hazard you’ll meet is a dog whose owner hasn’t heard of dog training. Wear a bike helmet and gloves; I also wear an old camo coat with long sleeves. A couple of saddlebags for spare inner tube, tools, water and food, and I can be out all day.
-
June 11, 2012 at 18:58
-
{ 28 comments }