Two Wheels Good, Four Legs Bad
As Cabin fever and post sewage pipe replacement excitement ennui had set in, I decided to take my self orf for a long walk starting at Yatton down the Strawberry Line, once a railway line torn up in the 1963 cull now part of the national cycle network.
Armed only with a mobile phone to summon help from Air Sea Rescue and Prince William, and my virginal gortex gaiters, I set off for a brisk hike.
The National Cycle Network is a marvellous intiative for………….. makers of ‘thou shall not’ signs. The track was littered with them. Thou shall not drive a wheeled vehicle down here, thou shall not ride your horse down here as it is a symbol of class opression, and you may wish to jump the rine and give chase to fluffy foxes. Thou shall pick up thy dog shite ( a lot of civil disobediance going on here).
There was the jovial information signs sponsored by forty eight different quangos, featuring a jovial pastiche of a cartoon station master blowing a whistle (not too patronising then).
There was ‘public art’ (looked like the local five year olds had had an away day with bostik and broken pottery. Signs that reminded you that this was a commuuuuuuuuuuunity project for the living green areas of the huddled urban masses of rural Somerset.
There were specially created pro bike anti capitalist horse riding gates made of shiny stainless steel.
This little lot must have cost a fortune.
For whom was this being spent ? Surely not for the unappreciative lil ol me, whose sole requirement was a a path with a sign one end and a sign the other end total cost of plastic arrow signs £10.
On the great Cycleway, I saw just one lad aged eight on a bike in six miles, and he had his stabilisers on, crash helmet and reflective jacket. The huddled urban masses were I believe huddled in front of their 42 inch plasma TV’s instead of taking to the National Cycleway.
I arrived in the failing light at the designated pick up point on the A38 when at last I saw some cyclists weaving through the traffic with no lights on. I did however see evidence of a class crime on the track. Hoof prints !!!!!!
It seems that it is quite easy to ride round the stainless steel gates, and use many of the roads crossing the designated National Cycleway.
Horse riders are tax payers too y’know.
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December 30, 2010 at 17:45 -
Look on the bright side, your taxes have contributed to a popular cycle path in Cambridgeshire, used by quite a lot of people. It was built using central government funds because the locals didn’t want it, and was due to open two years ago but we’re still waiting. It’s actually supposed to be a guided busway but in the absence of buses, it is popular with walkers, cyclists and yes, horse riders.
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December 30, 2010 at 18:21 -
guided busway- is that one of those ‘no driver’ thingys ?
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December 30, 2010 at 18:44 -
No, it uses normal buses with guide wheels. They’ve got it arse-about-face, so the busway bypasses all the villages where there’s not much traffic and a bus service would be useful, then chucks out onto the congested roads entering the north of Cambridge.
Millions of pounds over-budget and at least two years late. We’ve been assured that it will be self-funding and that no money will come out of our local council tax contributions.
See http://www.cambridgeshire.gov.uk/transport/thebusway/
No doubt our local ‘community art’ for this will be in the form of vehicles driven onto the busway and burned out, causing minor disruption to the few services they try to run.
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December 30, 2010 at 17:54 -
“There were specially created pro bike anti capitalist horse riding gates made of shiny stainless steel.”
Pretty high gates, then, or surely they’d just jump ‘em?
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December 30, 2010 at 18:18
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December 30, 2010 at 18:00 -
“There were specially created pro bike anti capitalist horse riding gates made of shiny stainless steel.” that is right baby have a nice day
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December 30, 2010 at 20:03 -
I am very troubled by your sighting of this young lad. He was cycling apparently alone and wearing only stabilisers and a helmet and safety jacket for protection. Obviously no risk assessment had taken place. Where was a fire extinguisher or safety boots, or indeed, safety blanket or flares? From your post I deduce that he was alone and it thus seems to me clear that he has been exposed to risk and is in an abusive relationship with his parents and an almost inevitable victim of paedophiles. He will probably be suffering trauma as we speak. Also, it is not clear that you have had a criminal records check before embarking on this trip, which seems most sinister, as is referring to the child without any Data Protection Act permissions. I find the whole thing quite shocking.
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December 30, 2010 at 23:46 -
Gildas, I have been assured by a self-described feminist of my acquaintance that as long as the child keeps its thighs firmly closed it will incite no lustful thoughts. If, however, it were to tumble from its bicycle and land legs akimbo no man, woman or child would be immune from carnal urges. This woman was, I hasten, not drunk and has made the same argument on many occasions. That she has remained unpunched is a testimony to my self-restraint.
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January 2, 2011 at 11:41 -
Andrew, you have obviously not been listening to the ghastly ‘farming Today’ programme on bbc R4, please keep up.
Had you listened, you would have been aware that an entire programme was dedicated to a militant ramblist, explaining how ‘coalition cuts’, would be responsible for the demise of the entire footpath network throughout the length & breadth of the land.
Despite having survived some seven hundred years without ‘access officers’ , footpaths would all sucumb in the next 4 years, as a result of being deprived of the unceasing vigilence and protection of these important local government officials.-
January 2, 2011 at 12:34 -
Like the corner shop, paths will survive where people carry on using them. If they fall into disuse, then its no one’s fault except the ramblers for not using them.
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