Young Robert comes from Poland, a country where you take care of yourself, no vast welfare state to fall back on.

He lost his job just before Christmas and with it his accommodation. He didn’t trot off to the DHSS and demand a four bed-roomed house in the centre of the city – he moved into the communal area of a block of flats, and bedded down for the night out of sight of the tenants.

One of the tenants had a Christmas party, the door was wide open. Robert was amongst those who wandered in – did he help himself to some food and drink? We don’t know, we only know that he picked up a set of keys whilst he was there.

One count of theft so far. Value of keys unknown.

A few days later, the party giving tenant went off with her suitcases to visit her family for Christmas.

Back in the apartment block, the temperature plunged to minus 10 in the coldest winter Europe has known for 300 years.

Robert remembered the keys and let himself into the flat. Over Christmas he watched TV, fed himself, scrupulously cleaned up the kitchen after himself, and was careful to disturb nothing. He stole nothing else, although in four days he could have cleaned out the apartment, had he been so minded.

Another count of theft of small items of food, gas, and electricity. Value unknown.

And one of Trespass, a civil tort.

When the tenant returned, Robert was apologetic, but didn’t attempt to run away.

She was annoyed, I would have been. She called the Police.

The police charged him with theft and unlawfully taking possession of the property.

The District Judge has just sentenced him to six months in prison. He is appealing but can’t have bail – because he doesn’t have an address……

I haven’t been very sympathetic to Ken Clarke’s desire to see less people in prison, but is sentencing the tax payer to six months of the cost of keeping this man in prison really the best way of dealing with Robert’s actions?

In France, you cannot evict anyone from accommodation on any grounds, between the months of October to March. They might be the worst tenant in the world, you might need the accommodation for yourself, but if they have managed to get a roof over their head by fair means or foul, on October 1^st – there they stay until the cold weather is over in March. There is also considerable judicial sympathy for the crime of ‘necessity’.

A good friend of mine is the proud owner of an industrial generator, a relic of his business interests in England. It is a mammoth affair that requires two or three people to lift off the ground, a separate flue to disgorge the fumes, and is wired into the mains – a simple flick of the switch brings the house to life in the (all too frequent) power cuts we endure.

Last time we had a ten day power cut, he was away from home. Returning on day two, he found he could not gain access to his garage. There was a new padlock fitted to the door. Not his. He eventually got into the garage through a window, and discovered the generator was missing. In its place was a note on the stand bearing a handwritten note. Madame Pompadour or whatever, and an address.

Thinking she must have been a witness to whatever occurred, he set out for her address through the pitch black streets. Impossible to miss her house, it was lit up like a Christmas tree, music blared out the door and a party was obviously in progress. Rather than tackle a strange situation that he was increasingly unsure of, he called the Police.

Some hours later, the Police called on him as he huddled over a candle, trying to breathe life into an ancient wood burner. Yes, indeed, Madame Pompadour did have his generator. The ironmonger next door to his house had lent her a set of bolt croppers to take his padlock off the door (!!!) but she had replaced it with a new one and here were the keys.

‘Never mind the keys, where’s me fu**ing generator’ he exclaimed.

‘But Monsieur, the Madame has five children in that house, and the children of neighbours, we can’t remove the generator whilst the temperature is minus 12’, they replied. ‘She hasn’t stolen it; she has just borrowed it out of necessity’. They meant it too.

Sure enough, eight days later, the power came back on, and two of Madame’s friends arrived with a truck with the generator on the back and ceremoniously replaced it. Fortunately, my friend was out at the time (buying more firelighters!) and there was only his gobsmacked wife to witness the return of the generator, so no one was charged with murder – or anything else.

Somewhere between jailing a man for six months for letting himself into that apartment,  and taking no action whatsoever when someone blatantly breaks into your property and steals something you had provided for yourself in the event of an emergency that has just occurred, there has to be a happy medium.

We all need warmth and shelter, more so in this mini ice-age. Students are rioting over their ‘right’ to a free education – and yet we calmly accept that we have no automatic rights to free warmth and shelter.

Anybody care to suggest where the legal parameters of private property should fall when it is patently obvious that you cannot exist without warmth and shelter in these temperatures?

Eleanor January 1, 2011 at 08:12

We have Tramps around here who break into empty properties in the
Winter.
They help themselves to available booze and food, but beyond the
initial damage on entry, they damage nothing else and they steal nothing
beyond the aforementioned booze and food.
They usually leave DNA and
fingerprints, so they get arrested and sent to prison for short periods. But
since this is what they wanted in the first place, it all works out quite
well.

I get paid for checking on these properties, so even I am happy about this.
As is my local Bob the Builder who secures the property.
Quite a lucrative
little Cottage Industry all told.

JohnRS December 31, 2010 at 10:39

When Robert was tried it sounds like our old friend Judge Alzheimer was in
the big chair again. He can be guaranteed to lock up those that don’t need it
and release/pardon/wrist slap those that should be banged up for a few
years.

When you couple him with a police farce that is only interested in box
ticking and crime stats and not in any form of justice or common sense you get
outcomes like the one you describe. When you look at who they regularly let
off with no charge, why on earth arrest him in the first place?

How we get back from the current corrupt and anti-public justice system to
something resembling what we all thought it was supposed to do, I really don’t
know.

But clearing out many of/all the judges and police commissars and moving to
a set of elected officials might be a good start.

Jim December 30, 2010 at 19:32

The theft charge I get. Theft is theft, whether its a bank job, or a few
pence worth of electric (didn’t they used to do people for stealing electric
if they defrauded the phone company and made free calls somehow?) . 6 months
tho, when you can shop lift up to a certain amount (£25?) and get a fixed
penalty, or even just a caution, seems harsh.

But the ‘unlawfully taking possession of the property’? Whats that? If you
can be charged with that, why are squatters who break into houses and change
the locks safe from the police arresting them? As far as I was aware squatting
was a civil offence, not a criminal one. Or is it to do with the keys? Had he
changed the locks and thrown the old keys away would the police have walked
away from it claiming it was a civil matter?

Roue le Jour
December 31, 2010 at 03:36

I’d be interested in the answer to Jim’s question, if anyone has one. If
he left when asked, I can’t see it as anymore than trespass plus petty
theft.

Andrew P Withers
December 30, 2010 at 16:56

Hmmm- I wonder if taking a generator from the local police, pompiers etc
out of neccessity would elicit the same response.

JuliaM December
30, 2010 at 17:57

Suuuuuuuure it would…

Zaphod December 30, 2010 at 14:10

Yes, but, six months? Is that proportional? Can we afford to keep that
ratio for all of em?

JuliaM December
30, 2010 at 13:43

“We all need warmth and shelter, more so in this mini ice-age…”

I’m pretty sure at this time of year you can’t throw a stick without
hitting a homeless charity. Why did he not avail himself of that? Perhaps
because the food and tv wouldn’t have been up to scratch?

I’m afraid I think Robert & Madame Pompadour are neck and neck in the
cheeky thievery stakes…

Hysteria December 30, 2010 at 15:18

what you said

Anna
Raccoon December 30, 2010 at
16:39

He is Polish, and was in Belfast of all places – possible language
difficulties and not understanding what might be available – especially
since he wouldn’t expect it to be available…..

JuliaM December 30, 2010 at 17:56

Our neighbours are Polish. We’ve never found them in our kitchen or
living room, helping themselves to our TV.

The language barrier excuse doesn’t fly, surely, if he was working?

Rog December 30, 2010 at 12:30

You also need food and water and many people will argue that an addict
needs his/her drugs/booze. If its not yours then leave it alone…or… suffer the
consequences.

Every law needs to cover the lowest common denominator because there are
thousands of parasites just waiting to take advantage. Does anyone want
someone waiting for the temperature to drop to -5 (or whatever the law
dictates) and then it becomes open season?

If I come home from holiday and find someone polishing off my spam I would
have a sense of humour failure.

Old Slaughter
December 30, 2010 at 12:35

Yeah, what Rog says.

Zaphod December 30, 2010 at 12:10

That’s a difficult question, Anna. Can we have some easy ones, please?

Old Slaughter
December 30, 2010 at 11:32

Very very interesting.

I have reservations regarding the… well… taking the piss factor. Any
privileges given are almost always extended past their logical conclusion.
This is where individual cases must be taken on judgement by a human.

John Leon
December 30, 2010 at 11:03

All to frequent power cuts? Anna, I think there must be a local problem as
we have now moved to virtually the end of your road and we have not suffered
one power cut in the month we have been here. Speaking of which, I hope all
goes well on the house warming party night, still to be determined, to which
you both are cordially invited.

Anna
Raccoon December 30, 2010 at
11:34

No, we haven’t had a power cut in the last month – but you wait, you just
wait!!!!

I shall look forward to the house warming, thanks for the invite.

ivan December 30, 2010 at 12:52

I agree with the ‘just wait’, it will happen!

We have had what I call power blips – a short cut in the power, long
enough to kick out all the electric clocks in the house and the main trip
switch on the village water pump but not long enough for my UPSs on the
computers to run out of battery power – several times this month. They are
only annoying when they happen late at night and I try to get coffee at 2
in the morning and there is no water.