A Mess called David…
At the core of the government’s plans for a Big Society is the belief that people across the country will diligently take up voluntary work in their local communities once the bureaucracy of an over-bearing state has been swept away.
Equally, it suits the Government, as it squeezes the pips out of budgets in every department, to portray ‘Can’t afford to do that’ as ‘we’ve empowered you to do that for yourself’.
It’s the ultimate spin – “Of course you can have an outreach macramé teacher for orphaned Mongolian chimpanzees abandoned in Aberystwyth, yes, yes, pressing need, we quite agree, that’s why we have empowered you to do this sort of thing yourself, yep, that applies even if they are showing progress in learning Welsh – when will you be starting courses? – Hello? Hello? Are you still there?”
One enterprising web site has evolved to monitor the progress of MPs as they grapple with the notion of doing things for nothing. They have e-mailed every MP asking them what they did voluntarily for their local community in their summer hols. I should say that I am not completely convinced that this is a fair activity to be monitoring them for – surely every time they open an old people’s homes or judge the Victoria Sponge competition they are giving their time towards local activities which they are not strictly speaking paid for – although presumably they have half an eye on their re-election chances as they volunteer their ribbon cutting expertise?
David Amess displaying his 'man of the people' qualities.
Here goes – top volunteering MP for his local community – drum roll – triumphant clash of cymbals – step forward Mr David Amess MP for Southend West.
What activity did Mr Amess takes part in that the Government no longer has to pay for, that the local community is empowered to undertake itself now? Come on, come on, you’re the top volunteer; let’s have a sterling example of the big society. Did you help teach English to a family of Rumanian pickpockets, or help the UK Borders employees catch another 500 Afghan refugees and return them to their rightful home? Did you make soup for public sector workers unfairly thrown out of jobs? What did you do David?
Oh dear! I suspect that your secretary got her qualifications in one of those ‘pick one out of three’ multiple choice exams where you have every chance of getting a gold star just for writing your name down. I can hear her brain ticking over from here. ….tick tock, tick tock,
Unpaid Intern: ‘e-mail here; they want to know what David did for the Big Society over the summer holiday – what’s the big society?’
Secretary: ’Dunno really, Cameron was on about it, something to do with volunteering I think’.
Unpaid Intern: So just send them anything on volunteering?
Secretary: Yep.
Which I surmise, is how Mr David Amess came to be credited as the top volunteer for Cameron’s Big Society’ empowering his local community by, by, by …..
By flying to the Philippines for two weeks?
David Amess – Conservative, Southend West – departs 22nd August
Amess, a former member of the Health Select Committee, will travel to the Philippines to train the Philippine Nurses Association (PNA) to lobby more effectively for improved salaries and working conditions for nurses. Low pay, a lack of management support and difficult working conditions are currently driving many well-qualified and experienced nurses to work abroad or to leave the profession altogether.
Voluntary Service Overseas paid for his airfare and other expenses, as they did for nine other MPS fired off to exotic spots. Well, it had ‘Voluntary’ in the title dinn’it? Stupid cow.
If they had any brains they’d be dangerous. That goes for the secretaries and interns too.
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1
September 21, 2010 at 15:54 -
You mustn’t be too hard on some of these Tories when their fairly amateur attempts to raise their profiles with a bit of diy PR, goes wonky. After all , unlike labour, they don’t get £3.2 billion worth of free publicity paid for by the tax payer every year.
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2
September 21, 2010 at 17:16 -
Well – I suppose “Big Society” and all that is a bit of clever spin, but it is rather politer than the brutally honest, “Sorry, but Gummint can’t afford to do everything for you, so you’ll have to learn to do some things for yourselves”. And why not?
It’s one thing to expect the taxpayer to pay someone to wipe your arse if you’re seriously ill, but why shouldn’t people wipe their own arses if they’re capable of so doing?
Gummint has been trying to stick it’s nose into too many aspects of people’s lives of late, so it would be a welcome change to be left to get on with life in peace.
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3
September 21, 2010 at 17:29 -
Who are these people that the Government expect to do their voluntary work? Are they the worthies who man the committees, populate the charity shop counters and shake the tins in the town centres? Or are they expecting the likes of us to roll our sleeves up and do their money-saving chores? So, how do they intend to implement this bizarre, narcotic-inspired vision? Are they going to parade the worthies who play the game as heroes/heroines of the new Big Society and present them with medals? This all smells strangely Soviet to me.
And how are they going to ensure that they don’t get willing monkeys who leave a trail of devastation and damage behind them (e.g. Labour Party politicians)?
Apart from these trivial reservations, I think it’s a fantastic idea. Must go – Nurse is coming with the drugs trolley.. pip pip! -
4
September 21, 2010 at 17:47 -
I already *do* this big government shite and have done for years. School governor, PTA, village hall committee, local wrinklies support group (ie mowing their lawns once a month, etc); community litter picks, blah ad infinitum. I can report thusly:
1) no f*cker ever wants to do it
2) the same 3 people (eg me) end up doing everything
3) all efforts are regarded with complete ingratitude by everyone else
4) by and large (I hope excluding me!) the 3 people make Hyacinth Bucket look like a truly lovely ladyIt’s the most stoopid idea I’ve ever heard in my life. Twice. If iDave wants to roll back the big state then fine – he got voted in, let him do it. But can someone just gag him about this Big Society shite, PLEASE?
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5
September 21, 2010 at 17:48 -
Oops. First big should read society, obviously. Apologies!
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6
September 21, 2010 at 20:11 -
I have the displeasure of having this useless toe-rag as my MP and so far as I am concerned the Philippine Nurses Association are welcome to him – permanently if at all possible.
Amess is no more than lobby fodder, holder of a one of the safer seats in the country, has his nose deep in the trough and pwned by Brass Eye.
No, I didn’t vote for him.
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