Or, if you prefer, ‘Gotty’s Piss Boiler of the Week’.
It appears that Norwich County Council have the perfect solution to help bone idle teenage students achieve educational greatness, and deliver outstanding results, in the ever competitive arena of university places and/or full time employment.
The City Academy Norwich, or CAN as it’s now become known.
So what the fuck will be going on in this CAN that’s set to cost more than 24 million quid to implement? More hard graft? Longer hours? Improved discipline? Better teachers?
They’re going to give the lazy little bastards even more lie-ins and turn the classroom (oh, sorry that should be ‘learning spaces’) into a “well motivated child’s bedroom” by chucking out the traditional school desks and chairs and kitting them out with bean bags, round tables and sofas. (No mention of half eaten bits of toast, dirty underwear, shit loads of make up or soiled tissues – as yet)
And if that wasn’t enough, they’re not even going to bother teaching the little scrotes anymore either. Staff will ‘delivering the lessons’ with a ‘project based approach to learning’ with the aid of ‘learning spaces’ that have flexible walls (what. the. fuck.) and a giant 30ft interactive screen that students, staff and parents will use to access the internet and check on timetables and lessons online gaming forums.
|click on image to read more – if your blood pressure can take it
I don’t know about anyone else but my piss has all but boiled dry, after reading that, and there are definite forehead imprints appearing on my desk as I finish conveying it in this post.
Twenty four fucking million quid! For what?
Give me fucking strength.