Gordon the Impotent.
So much doom and gloom around in the blogs this morning. The media are no more of cheer.
I, however, in my usual contrary way, find plenty to cheer me.
Whilst for months there have been jokes about a hung parliament – as in MPs hanging with a rope around their neck, I have always felt that this was too swift and painless a death for a man such as Gordon Brown who has presided over the destruction of Britain.
Nor was the opportunity to snipe and gripe from the sidelines as Leader of the Opposition a suitable punishment for his crimes.
No, I much prefer his present predicament; it is skilfully designed to bleed him, drop by drop, to a humiliating near-death experience, followed by a life sentence of solitary confinement within his own ego.
Think about it. A man who has spent 13 years playing with the levers of power, both behind the back of the puppet Blair Prime Minister and in his own unelected right as Prime Minister, has been shackled to the public stocks.
His party are fighting like starving rats behind his back, as MPs they are devoid of all expenses, all privileges, all power. They cannot jeer in parliament, there is no parliament. They cannot swan off to foreign climes on fact finding missions, they are utterly neutered. And angry, very angry. At least if he had lost they could have crowded into the chambers and vent their spleen on the party in power.
His Ministers retain their official cars and ministerial offices. They arrive each morning and drum their fingers on their desk. Our Vera will be spending her time making appointments to have her roots touched up, the civil service will not let them tinker with legislation any longer.
No longer does the civil service issue a stream of press reports of a million here, a billion there, to the constituencies of ill humoured MPs. It is silent.
His own party ensured that there could not be an election to appoint a new leader without the conference that will be held in the autumn. No release from the shackles there.
The Queen must remain absolutely above politics; she cannot ‘choose’ his successor. He cannot resign until it is clear who his successor would be. Then he must recommend them to the Queen.
“The popular myth is that the prime minister loses office if his party is defeated in a general election, but that is not the position,” said Robin Butler, who was Heath’s private secretary in February 1974. “The prime minister remains prime minister until he cannot command a majority in Parliament and somebody else can.”
The media openly mock him, themselves released from fear of the ‘ruling party’. ‘He didn’t lose the election’ lisps Mandelson. ‘He didn’t win either’ retorts the media.
His only hope of freedom lies with a man he has sidelined and dismissed for years. If he sells his soul, if his party will allow him to sell his soul, to the insignificant leader of the receptacle of disillusioned Labour and Tory voters, then possibly, just possibly, he might be able to see a chink of light at the end of his tunnel.
That chink of light will be the opportunity to sit in cabinet once more, but with strange bedfellows in key positions. No longer can he demand collective responsibility, civil service rules demand that Ministers from supporting parties are only bound by collective responsibility in respect of their own portfolios. He won’t be able to shuffle them around, threaten them with the sack if they don’t do his bidding.
On Sunday his Chancellor will fly to Brussels to nod politely at a scheme which will see Britain lumbered with 10% of the cost of default by any Eurozone country which fails to repay a loan – they cannot object, Britain’s veto has been removed for the occasion. Humiliation was heaped upon humiliation when it was revealed that Gordon Brown was the last to be told of this done deal.
Powerless, beleaguered, restrained, enfeebled, sterile, impotent, impatiently drumming his bitten fingernails on the desk, he cannot escape.
You could not dream up a more tortuous end for the man who believed he ‘saved the world’. Waiting for the flibbertigibbet leader of the sandal clad Sandinistas to make their mind up whether they will agree to take Trident away from him or the Tories.
It is the modern equivalent of the village stocks. Shackled for our enjoyment. Perfect.
Enjoy it whilst it lasts.
- Tweets that mention Gordon the Impotent. — Topsy.com
- May 11, 2010 at 11:11
- Spoke too soon Anonymong
- May 11, 2010 at 14:00
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
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1
May 11, 2010 at 11:08 -
And then a fat pension, a knighthood, speeches, life of Riley …
Hopefully his kids will realise what a twonk he was.
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2
May 11, 2010 at 11:15 -
On an aside, has anybody noticed any difference to day to day life whilst we are sans government? Apart from the media beating itself into a lather that is.
The sun is still shining and the birds are still singing here.
So how are you voting in GE2010 version 2, due for release soon?
Brown in stocks, now that’s an enticing image…
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3
May 11, 2010 at 11:33 -
If only, if only – but his apologists and image peddlers are already out and about suggesting that he’s a virtually certain shoe-in as the next chairman of the IMF.
Just think about the horror of that situation – the rotten coalition of Lib, Lab and the Celtic Parasites etc etc collapses as the financial markets wreak havoc, the IMF has to be called in, and who swans back into No 10 to advise us on how to rectify the fiscal mess?
Why, none other than the Great Cyclopian Dysfunctional Scotch Marxist himself, who created said mess in the first place: no doubt to prescribe a further dose of his own post-neo-classical-endogenous growth theory (aka tax the wealth creators in order to subsidise the client state) as the ideal medicine for our predicament.
Pass the sick bag, Alice.
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4
May 11, 2010 at 11:56 -
What a lovely take on things.
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May 11, 2010 at 12:01 -
Where can I acquire one of those contraptions in the picture (what is it by the way?) and how can I get McNutter into it?
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May 11, 2010 at 13:07 -
No! I will not let you deprive Tony Blair of his title of the World’s Most Evil and Stupid Bastard Except For Bush. You seem to imply that all along he was Gordon’s creature. This is not so — they ARE and WERE both Mandelvort’s creatures, small sub-demons chattering and gibbering and cowering away at his command.
On a brighter note — did anyone see the (almost) punch-up between Adam Boulton and the Nu-Lab porn merchant Alistair Campbell? Well worth witnessing, and you can see it at http://dailymoaner.com/?p=3170
Sorry for the comment spam, but it really was enjoyable. That’s what politics needs — more physical contact. None of this pussy-footing around and calling each other honoural members while clearing out the till. We need a leadership election by trial-by-combat, with no quarter given until severe injury, or better still, death.
Still, that’s just me. I don’t expect anyone would agree with me.
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May 11, 2010 at 14:36 -
An interesting result of Brown standing down is that the Baby-Boomer era in politics will almost certainly have eneded. With GenJones ( the previously “lost” generation between the Boomers and Xers) leaders of both Lib Dems and Tories and most likely Labour, as well as a large number of Joneser MPs, we may well see a change in politics whoever takes over. It looks like significant media attention has accompanied this generational transition in numerous countries, but has ignored it here. If GenJoneser Cameron finally becomes PM, we may see the kind of GenJones media buzz that happened when GenJonesers Obama, Sarkozy, and Merkel took over power from their Boomer predecessors.
I quite enjoyed this piece about GenJones in the Indy last week which discusses Cameron and Clegg’s identities as GenJonesers:http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/jonathan-pontell-cleggs-rise-is-the-sound-of-generation-jones-clearing-its-throat-1961191.html
And I thought there was a pretty decent overview about GenJones in the UK here:
http://www.generationjones.org.uk/
For some light post election relief see this clip of Jonathan Ross about Generation Jones:
http://www.youtube.com/user/GenerationJonesTV#p/a/u/1/5ZmO6Pl2E28 -
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May 11, 2010 at 16:29 -
Lenko – watching the Boulton/Campbell “hissticuffs” was the highlight of my day.
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May 11, 2010 at 18:13 -
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May 11, 2010 at 19:53 -
He’s gone, two resignations in as many days, from two jobs he was never elected to do. I may have two exams and a job interview this week but not even they can put a dampener on this moment!
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