Icelandic Men.
I have just read a report in which some doctors claim that Icelandic men live longer than men elsewhere in the world.
I’ve been to Reykjavik and I think I know what it is that makes them cling so tenaciously to life: it isn’t their diet of cod, puffin, reindeer, putrid shark or lamb; it isn’t the fact that their danglies are kept in a cool, dark place during the endless and sunless winter; it isn’t that alcohol is prohibitively expensive; it isn’t the therapeutic effects of a nice dip in the hot water of the Blue Lagoon; it isn’t down to the fact that the whole place smells of sulphur; it isn’t even down to the fact that the island explodes once in a while and puts paid to European air-travel; nope, it’s all down to the women.
The women, young and old, are astonishingly beautiful. Mr Smudd’s appreciation of their beauty had his head swivelling, his tongue hanging out and his eyes popping out of his head until I distracted him with a few quick kicks to the shin.
The men, on the other hand, are trolls. Honestly. Trolls in chunky home-knits to be precise. Trolls in chunky home-knits with no discernible attractive features, other than the gorgeous wives and girlfriends hanging on their cosy, chunky-sweatered arms.
And there you have it. The thing that stops these goblins from popping their clogs is that they don’t know they’re born in the first place.
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- May 7, 2010 at 17:55
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
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1
May 7, 2010 at 17:53 -
Where did you get the pic of Boaty & D? ;o)
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2
May 7, 2010 at 18:16 -
Perhaps they just keep the ugly ones indoors.
With a relatively small community at the limits of human habitation would it engender survival of the… fittest? As technology steadily makes places on the margins of existence more habitable perhaps the quality of the women will drop.
Listening to Emiliana Torrini giggle her way through a radio interview years ago made a lasting impression on me.
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3
May 7, 2010 at 19:59 -
Well they can’t all be as handsome, suave & debonair as Saul!
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4
May 7, 2010 at 21:51 -
Thanks for the info. I’ve been wondering where to emigrate to.
Will send my next dispatch from the slopes of Eyjafjallajökull.
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5
May 7, 2010 at 22:15 -
They’re not B&D, they’re surely Milliband Major & Minor, ready to destroy what’s left of NuLab after Broon fucks off
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6
May 7, 2010 at 23:38 -
Rubbish – the men are not all trolls – haven’t you seen Gardar Thor Cortes?
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7
May 7, 2010 at 23:46 -
Well I’ve only seen two Icelandic women and they were both boots. The beastly singer Bjork with a face like a plumbers toolkit and that anti Scottish skeletal Sally Magnusson from al jabeeba(North Britain).
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8
May 8, 2010 at 09:09 -
ashnotcash
Sally Magnusson, skeletal? She must be in her late 50’s and is still doo-able especially for the feral panda. Are you sure you are mixing her up with the skeletal Jackie Bird is who is skeletal and talentless to boot.
As for the Icelandic women, I concur; bloody slaveringly doo-able.
I know that genetically the Icelanders have a lot of Celtic DNA and could be closer to to the Celts than the Danes or Norwegians in their mix.
Those damn Vikings didn’t just do rape and pillage, they took take-aways as well.
I have been getting my own back on the lot of them, Danes, Norwegians and Icelanders for many years; bloody enjoyable.
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9
May 8, 2010 at 09:40 -
Bugger..
No definitely Sally Magnusson. She chaired a discussion on Scotlands future a few weeks ago and was skeletal and full of hate for Scotlands history. Vitriolic against Scotland. Her dad was ok (big Magnus the Mastermind bloke)
Jackie Bird. Yes definitely ill. Far too skinny. Another Labour loving bbc luvvy with her wee column in the Daily Record ( Labours manifesto ). -
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May 8, 2010 at 11:52 -
Great piccy!
Let that be a salutary admonition to anyone thinking of buying pills on the internet.
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May 8, 2010 at 12:39 -
ashcash
I am genuinely puzzled that she should be so hateful of Scotland’s history, her dad was ok and they stayed not far from me a long time ago on Gt Western Rd. Saw him a said hello which he always returned.
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12
May 8, 2010 at 12:42 -
Ashbutnocash
BBC aka Aljabeeba or Izvestia on the Clyde needs a serious defenestration of that lot.
The time is coming
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13
May 8, 2010 at 13:54 -
Bugger…
Yeah I was shocked with unionist Sally. She basically thought that Scotland started in 1707 and everything before that was the dark ages. Joan McAlpine was on the show aswell and put up a good effort on Scotlands behalf but was outfought by too many Labour luvvies.
Braveheart came in for maximum sally attack. Although it wasn’t a true reflection of history we did beat the English and did have them worried for a while. William Wallace did exist. Scotland did have a King who was also King of England. All airbrushed out of history by her. -
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May 8, 2010 at 20:11 -
Well from what I remember of Reykjavik, the thing that surprised the most was the fact that they had redheads.
Don’t remember the lasses being especially comely or the fellas especially trollish (to a man’s eye).
And the Blue Lagoon does stink, but it’s still worth the trip. Just make sure you go in summer – we went for my birthday in mid-winter and it is light from about 10am-2:30pm………..
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15
May 8, 2010 at 23:44 -
Lol…those two look like the product of some serious inbreeding.
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16
May 9, 2010 at 10:28 -
The gents in the pictures are, I think, South Africans (second row?).
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