Some months back I wrote to every female MP I could think of, inviting them to address this blog, and explain why my many female readers should vote for their party.

Last week I published the reply from Lynne Featherstone. This week it should have been the Labour response.

However, there is a problem. It seems that women in Labour are too posh to push — their agenda – to the humble Blogosphere anyway.

Naturally, my first port of call was Vera Baird.

Long time readers of this blog will remember that late one evening a comment appeared on a post where I had been critical of Lord Ahmed’s derisory sentence that purported to come from one Vera Baird MP. It was a spirited defence of the good Lord.

Yes, of course I have obliterated part of the IP address – but not before I had checked out that it did indeed come from parliament. Nor that this was in fact Ms Baird’s e-mail address. Now neither fact confirm that it was Ms Baird in person who posted that comment, but it did suggest that someone inside the House of Commons felt comfortable posing as Ms Baird…..

Since that comment I have kept a regular check on that IP address, and it pops up every time I mention Ms Baird’s name – which means it pops up quite regularly! I shan’t bore you with the screen shots that I keep of this occurrence, there are far too many of them. Always the same IP address.

So I was more than a little surprised to receive not just a refusal from Ms Baird, but a very specific refusal.

Same IP address in the header – something is adrift here, Vera, my petal. If you don’t read Anna Raccoon, and you don’t know the person who does, or the person who comments from your IP address, then there would seem to be something of a security issue in the House of Commons. Perhaps an illegal immigrant working as a cleaner in there – who does read, and comment – on Anna Raccoon?

I will return to security issues, but in the meantime, I tried Kerry McCarthy- the Internet Tsar, surely she would see the value of the blogopshere?

Oh dear!

Nope, she didn’t want to play on the Internet either. Too busy releasing the election results early!

How about Harriet Harman? Little Ms Equality, surely she would see the value of adressing my mainly female readers? Not initially…….

That seemed pretty definite – but then ten days later (bang in the middle of my efforts to get Nick Hogan out of jail!) came a change of heart – it seems I was being invited to join the deputy Leader on her foray to the North of England. Could this be my big chance? – if it was I had to decline in favour of my campaign to get Mr Hogan behind the ‘right sort of bars’…..

It seems Ms Harman would be travelling from St Pancreas to Sheffield – first class naturally, and gave me her seat no – window seat Coach G, Seat 28A – all I had to do was turn up and sit next to her – or I could save myself a small fortune, and sit next to her minion in Coach E, seat 14A (aisle) for half the price.

Not only that, but there was a second opportunity to tell the blogosphere where Ms Harman might be found on the following day, Saturday 5th March, when she would be seated in solitary splendour, coach L seat 37A (window seat) (in case you didn’t recognise her!) travelling from Durham back to King’s Cross. Once again the minion was travelling cattle class in coach D, Seat 62A.

It cost the tax payer £301.50 to get these people to Sheffield and back from Durham to London, and even at cattle class rates, I couldn’t justify joining them for your enlightenment.

When it comes to a Labour MP addressing the blogosphere, you will have to content yourself with the Labour troll on your right – it is probably more amusing and educational.

Who can tell me what essential business on behalf of the tax payer Ms Harman was undertaking on those days. Any? None? A bottle of wine for the correct answer.

Next time Ms Harman’s office send me her travel arrangements in advance, I shall authorise the Parliamentary candidate for Cambridge, one Old Holborn, to buy a seat right next to her, and give him a piece of your mind………

Anything in particular you would like him to say? And if Gordon Brown’s office send me his travel itinerary, is there anyone who would be free to take up the seat next to him?

1
Gloria Smudd April 30, 2010 at 09:04

I seem to remember that Ms Baird is also too posh to pick up her pooch’s pooh.

2
Clarissa April 30, 2010 at 09:08

Not only free but willing to put up with being abused for having an opinion that he doesn’t like and the chance to get up close and personal with a rapidly travelling Nokia? Sorry but whilst I am many things a masochist is not one of them.

3
Ally April 30, 2010 at 10:44

I wonder what if they also have a problem with their toes? Poor old Labour women, they just keep shooting them…

4
Indianhat April 30, 2010 at 10:48

Dear Anna
I am unreliably informed that Ha Harperson regularly goes to Sheffield for combined reasons of Threshers wine store bargain bin day, and steam exfoliation ! both of course absolutly necessary for its parliamentary duties!

The above may of course be completly made up!

Am adding your blog to my blog list this morning, keep up the good work.
Too posh to push!! brill!!

5
Olly Cromwell April 30, 2010 at 11:05

I’m up for a train ride

6
Fed up with Baird April 30, 2010 at 15:35

Vera’s too busy explaining to her constituents why she f**ked around with all her ‘make life difficult for men’ laws instead of raising her little finger to help save their jobs in the steelworks.

Mind you they’ll vote her in again. They’re dumb like that up there.