Honest employment for ex-MPs?
An enterprising job hunting firm MyWorkSearch.co.uk have compiled a list of recommended jobs for MPs should they not be re-elected next week.
Gordon Brown as a Community Diversity Officer? David Cameron as an organic butcher? Nick Clegg as a plumber? Whilst these may seem far fetched occupations for the country’s political leaders, these are the careers that a leading job hunting firm, MyWorkSearch, has recommended for the party leaders should they be looking for work post May 6th. Experts at the firm entered the profiles of some of the country’s leading politicians using its personalised assessment test tool and came out with a string of startling suggestions for politicians to try, should they not be an MP post the general election.
The jobs portal found that the Prime Minister would be a perfect Community Diversity Officer, having successfully placated Gillian Duffy, the pensioner he branded a ‘bigot’ earlier in the week, whilst David Cameron, with his liking for (public sector) cuts and love of the outdoors would make an ideal butcher. Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, who likes putting a spanner in the works, is recommended to try his hand at plumbing should things not work out for him next Thursday.
The database also found that original ‘Blair Babe’ Jacqui Smith would make an ideal Ann Summer’s party organiser, George Osborne an estate agent and Vince Cable, used to playing second fiddle, would be an ideal second-hand car salesman. Perhaps unsurprisingly, BNP leader Nick Griffin, who is used to being abused in public, would make a perfect traffic warden should he not be elected to parliament.
Having searched though 12 politicians’ profiles, the full list of recommendations is as follows:
Richard Alberg, Chief Executive at MyWorkSearch said
‘Just because you’re out of a job doesn’t mean you don’t have skills that can be employed usefully elsewhere. Our list of alternative jobs for MP’s demonstrates this and we hope that come May 6th, if any of these MP’s do need further career advice then we can help them in this search’.
They don’t seem to have attempted the difficult task of finding something useful for our Vera to do….
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April 30, 2010 at 17:22 -
I think Richard Alberg must be taking too many Optimism Pills. All that lot, apart from Nick & Lembit, are fit for is picking up rubbish with little pointy sticks – alternatively could they learn & remember the mantra ‘Is that with fries, Sir?’. However, MaccyD’s employees are meant to be honest so thar’s another no no for the ex-MPs.
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April 30, 2010 at 18:17 -
Shagger Clegg as a “plumber”? Quite appropriate really but would the moustache suit him and would he be able to carry off wearing just a thong under his tool belt.
I want to see Hazel Blears working as one of Santa’s Little Helpers later in the year and Ed Balls employed as a classroom assistant in a sink school. -
April 30, 2010 at 19:14 -
Well, it would be nice to think of them all going on Job Seekers’ Allowance or racking up a nice fat student-loan but in reality they’ll all find themselves lovely fat-cat positions and GB will become Lord Prudence of Aspergers.
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April 30, 2010 at 22:26 -
As a former JobcentrePlus Advisor I would advise MPs to make use of their extensive network of contacts to find themselves a “job” with a sham charity, leftwing think tank or trade union. Otherwise, the least worst might aspire to call centre work (they have training in working from a script) and the party stalwarts could try picker/packer work in a warehouse (it’s a bit like going through the division lobbies repeatedly): conversational Polish would be an advantage.
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May 1, 2010 at 07:29 -
Don’t worry about Vera, she will go back to being a barrister specialising in sexual offences where she’d obviously be an expert on all the new anti-sex laws, because she drafted them. Feathering her own nest in other words. I hope her constituents realise now that they’ve been duped but I wouldn’t bank on it. They’ve lost their jobs and their community will be in decline but they’ll still vote her back in.
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