The social media has been consumed all week-end with the startling news that Chris Grayling held a personal view at odds with his voting record where he was voting in the interests of the majority of his constituents.

This example of an MP doing precisely what an MP is supposed to do is being held up by the Labour Party as a fine example of ‘how the Conservative Party haven’t really changed’. I can only say, I’m glad to hear it, not enough to make me vote for them, but encouraging hearing that they do have MPs who don’t use their power to help make legislation purely to further their own ideological beliefs.

The main cause of the hysteria or course, is that the issue in question was the interests of the powerful 1- 2% of the population who are openly gay. Despite being minus hystera, even with the aid of expensive surgery, they are still as mysteriously susceptible to hysteria as we mere females. Yes, I know that is lower than the figure commonly quoted, but the figure commonly quoted includes all those who admit to having ever had a homosexual relationship, and unless they are now celibate, I assume that they have also had a heterosexual relationship, so I see no reason for them to be counted exclusively on the side of the handbag swingers.

What has surprised me is the sheer number of Bloggers who have chosen to jump aboard this subject on the grounds that ‘a B & B is a private space’.

The notion of a B & B as a private space is a train that left the station, ooh, some 40 years ago. It is an ideological notion that belongs in the debating chambers of Eton; it bears no more relation to reality than Disneyworld’s attempt at the Venetian canals.

There was an argument to be held on those grounds, back before 1974, which was approximately when the state began its encroachment on the lives of the owners of a house that dared to take money in return for offering their spare bedroom up to total strangers in need of cheap lodgings for the night.

Since that date, the lives of B & B owners have been entirely rules by a motley collection of local council inspectors who impose rules that are probably a fore runner of those the Nu-Labour Government would like to impose on all of us.

Washing machine in your kitchen? NO, no no! Utility room OK then? Well only if you can get to your utility room without going through your kitchen – get thee to your local planning office and apply for permission to build on a separate unit, accessed from outside to wash all those sheets, God knows what people have been up to on them.

Glass door on your kitchen to admit all that sunlight from your wonderful Lake District view? No, no, no, we’ll have a fire door on there.

Put that cigarette out! What d’you think this is, a private house?

Dog’s water bowl? You can’t let the dog in here, this is a designated space for the preparation of food under The Food Safety Act 1990 and The Food Hygiene (England) Regulations 2006. I’ll have sight of your basic Food Hygiene Handling Certificate now please.

Ah, here’s the Fire Inspector now! You have taken the cover off all your three pin plugs and checked that the connections are sound haven’t you? And installed emergency lighting on your stairwells, and signs pointing the way to go down the stairs in case of fire? Sprinkler system in the bedrooms?

That’s a wonderful view you have through those patio doors, I suppose that is what your guests come here for? Hmmn, thought so, I’ll have a bloody great sign slap in the middle of that glass saying ‘this door is closed’ if you don’t mind. Can’t have anyone bumping their nose on that glass as though this was a private house, can we?

Private space? Don’t make me cow’s calf.

1
Vimes April 5, 2010 at 11:11

Would Mr Grayling also support the right of gay B&B owners to refuse accommodation to Christian couples? See sauce, see geese, see ganders.

2
Thaddeus J. Wilson April 5, 2010 at 11:21

Ms Raccoon, you have truly excelled yourself in the picture department today!

3
QM April 5, 2010 at 11:49

So… you’re asserting gay rights with health and safety?

4
Archbishop Cranmer April 5, 2010 at 13:20

You cropped up on His Grace’s Wikio blog ranking ‘exclusive’, and he would like to know where you’ve been hiding.

Your light should not be under a bushel, but blazing from the highest peaks. We might not agree on much, but you are refeshingly much less concerned with husterikos than many men.

PS
His Grace never mentioned ‘private space’, but ‘conscience’.

5
Anna Raccoon April 5, 2010 at 13:22

I bow to your worshipful presence……

6
Dai April 5, 2010 at 13:24

I’m not allowed to have Glenys, my sheep, in my bedroom on holiday because of an ovisphobic law that discriminates against my perfectly natural lifestyle. I pay taxes and Glenys makes pullovers. Oh, it’s alright for you to eat roast lamb and mint sauce, you claim it’s just a phase or that you drank a few glasses of light red and were curious, but your prejudices criminalise me. What’s your problem with being in love, baaaa?

7
marie19 April 5, 2010 at 18:02

I understand there are quite a few exclusively gay B&Bs and Hotels, why no fuss about that?

8
patently April 6, 2010 at 14:19

You’re right, of course, to point out that there is an inconsistency here – asserting on the one hand that B&B owners are letting out their private space and hence have a right to set rules as to its use, and ignoring on the other hand the myriad of intrusions by the State into that space on the grounds that it is no longer private.

However, there are two solutions to this conflict. One solution extends the State still further, but the other might just widen the availability of affordable B&B provision for all (regardless of their views and proclivities).