The Catholic Church manages ‘outrage’ at last.
It has been ‘saddened’ in prior weeks, it has been ‘dismayed’, it even sneaked in a solitary ‘disgusted’ at one point, but these were individual views; this week-end however, it worked itself up into a collective ‘outraged’.
At last. Halleluiah, Praise the Lord, and any other appropriate collegiate incantations you think I should inset at this point.
You must be agog to hear of the latest goings on in the haute couture world of pretty frocks extraordinaire?
Was the Pope caught dogging with a pretty Thai boy dressed as Shirley Bassey?
Bishop Kieran Conry found hanging in his wardrobe alongside his best black negligee with a Lidl plastic bag fastened over his head and a beatific smile on his worshipful countenance?
Did the number of abused children finally reach some magical tipping point number – 10,000, 100,000, at which the bomb proof conscience of the Catholic Church was finally moved to ‘outrage’?
None of these. Something far, far, worse than that.
Let your imagination run riot for a moment of this Easter Sunday. Finished?
Do you need a few minutes to refresh the mind bleach?
The cause of this collective outrage was that dead sheep of the Anglican Church daring to speak his mind.
He said, wait for it, that the Catholic Church ‘had lost all credibility’ because of its poor (Poor? Ecclesiastical understatement of the year) handling of the scandal of paedophile priests.
And the dam broke. Those Catholic priests who had remembered their faith and spoken in measured cautious tones of small boys abused and lives ruined, were moved to ‘outrage’ and strong language.
Diarmuid Martin, archbishop of Dublin was ‘stunned’ by this news.
“The unequivocal and unqualified comment in a radio interview of the archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, that the Catholic church in Ireland has ‘lost all credibility’ has stunned me,” Martin said.
I can find no record of Diarmuid Martin being stunned in the past. Never before has he ‘woken to a news report and felt so discourgaged’.
A curious set of values in the Catholic chapter of professional middle-men between you and your conscience.
Archbishop Tomasi telling us all that up to 5% of Catholic priests have sexually abused children didn’t stun Diarmuid, nor move him to public statements of having ‘never before felt so discouraged’.
Various diocese in the US accepting that over 4,000 priests had abused young children didn’t have that effect on him.
The publication of the ‘crimen sollicitationis’ revealing that victims of abuse who spoke out against their crime would be banished from the ministrations of the Catholic Church (for which small mercy they were surely grateful, given that which the ministrations had involved for them up to that point) hadn’t ‘stunned’ Diarmuid Martin, nor left him feeling ‘personally discouraged’.
But a mild criticism by the cuddly toy that the Anglican Church have handed their bestest party frock to, brings him to his knees in despair.
God only knows what he will do if he hears the one about the Pope and the Thai boy.
Make for the wardrobe with a Lidl bag, I suspect.
A Happy Easter to all, including those who put their faith in these charlatans.