Right, I’m quite insistent on this: finish what you’re eating. Put down your cup. Remove all sharp objects from your person.

Although the Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg was more than happy to talk about his sex life to Piers Morgan — he claimed to have slept with up to 30 women when he was single — Darling appears to find the subject more perplexing.

Asked by Morgan for GQ magazine whether it was possible to have a good sex life and be a member of the Cabinet, the Chancellor replied: “I don’t know.”

In a series of increasingly toe-curling exchanges, Darling went on to deny he was too “knackered” to enjoy a satisfying sex life with his wife, Margaret

That’s Margaret pictured above.

I’m so sorry. I really am. But I wasn’t going to shoulder the burden of that mental image by myself.

Newsflash! Ross has unearthed the inevitable Alastair Darling sex videotape. Truly, it is the end of days.

1
Dungeekin March 31, 2010 at 07:53

Oh, thank you SO much.

The Eyebrowed One on the vinegar strokes? Sod putting down the coffee, I won’t be able to eat or drink for the next week.

Pass the mindbleach. I’m off to call a therapist.

D

2
JuliaM March 31, 2010 at 08:12

Hoe exactly does one go about gouging out the mind’s eye…?

3
Sarbanes Oxley March 31, 2010 at 08:54

I was having such a good day

4
Constantly Furious March 31, 2010 at 09:16

Sick. All. Down. Self.

5
PT March 31, 2010 at 10:02

Didn’t our Piers peer into his pal Gordon’s private life in the same way? I wonder why not. Anyway, it just shows how alien they all find honest, normal plain speaking, being unable to conjure up the sentence “None of your bloody business!”

6
SadButMadLad March 31, 2010 at 10:35

Sorry to be boring but so what if Margaret Darling is not a super model. So are you dumbing yourself down to the populist celebrity culture. No more thought provoking articles? Just gutter press type stuff?

Anyway, love is not always down to physical attraction, personality comes into it too.

7
lenko March 31, 2010 at 10:44

But isn’t the other one Norman Lamont? No wonder Darling is in such a mess, with Lamont as a mentor / sex-partner.

Gotta go now… still some more to bring up… out of the way!

8
JuliaM March 31, 2010 at 10:44

I think the ‘poking fun at’ bit is equally on Badger-Brows, not just at the little woman…

And ‘personality’ is what politicians use for a contraceptive!

9
Thaddeus J. Wilson March 31, 2010 at 11:12

SadButMadlad – on re-reading my post, it may come across that I’m poking fun at Mrs Darling. I can assure you that even before I’d seen that photo, I had assumed the brace position over the porcelain. My apologies to Mrs Darling for that mis-representation.

Although, to be fair, once I found the photo, I did have to run for the bathroom again.

10
Antisthenes March 31, 2010 at 12:09

I think that is an insult to badgers comparing Darling with them.

I am sure that Margret Darling when she met Mr Darling was a beauty to behold otherwise what the hell was he thinking about and where was his judgment? I have forgotten about his stewardship as Chancellor he has not got any judgment.

11
Yorkie March 31, 2010 at 16:02

Surely is it necessary to probe into the private life of a senior politition?.The man is running the country’s finances and is just about the only Government Minister to have a shred of credibility.PS I am not a Labour supporter.

12
Doubting Thomas March 31, 2010 at 20:58

I wondered what happened to little Jimmy Krankie. FANDABIDOZIE.

13
bofl April 1, 2010 at 00:32

another beard?