Dr Dolittle’s Prescription.
Finally we got an appointment to see the government appointed consultant to find out how to remove the cancerous debt tumour that is growing exponentially on the backside of our proud nation.
He turned out to be Dr Dolittle.
We have waited months for this appointment, the tumour has been alarming all our friends and families for over a year, but since we are due at a wedding within the next few weeks, and he wants us all to be friends by then, the good Doctor found time to fit us in yesterday afternoon.
His prescription was mind blowing – he has decided that the best thing to do is to increase the size of the tumour by 2.2%. You’ll hardly notice it, he said. This is not what we were expecting.
He says if we can’t afford to drink cider any more, and we don’t smoke in our cars, and we all have a bank account even if we’ve got nothing to put in it, and he sets up a government department that will force banks to lend money to us even when they know perfectly well that we can’t afford to pay them back – then the tumour will shrink all by itself in another 5 years or so.
I don’t believe him, he’s a quack, he’s been talking to the animals in Downing Street for too long – and I want a second opinion.
Fortunately, the law says I can have one – by June 6th at the latest.
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- March 25, 2010 at 14:05
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
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1
March 25, 2010 at 09:18 -
No need to worry – you can still drink cider in the car and smoke at home.
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2
March 25, 2010 at 09:22 -
I see why he’s waiting until the last minute to call the election. According to rumour, the return of Jesus Christ is scheduled for June 5th.
I was told this by a pig whilst it flew past earlier, and it was backed up by the herd of talking unicorns drinking cider and having a smoke in the blistering sunshine in the back garden of the pub.
Wibble.
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3
March 25, 2010 at 09:59 -
Bring back Margaret Thatcher.
Yes I know she’s got a slight memory problem, but haven’t they all.
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4
March 25, 2010 at 10:44 -
Dr. David Cameron I presume, Stanley Raccoon, thank god I’ve found you.
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5
March 25, 2010 at 11:15 -
It’s not Darlings fault. He’s just a parrot on the shoulder of the git from one-eye.
And now his problems all come back, all down to a FOI request
The Telegraph also adds a little interestlinking the git to a global thief.
So I would not say mendacity.
No.
Just.. A bare faced LIAR
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6
March 25, 2010 at 11:41 -
RE: Brown gold,
The shifty bugger was trying to get the IMF to sell some gold too. He was very (and suspiciously) keen to get more gold on the market in a public fashion.
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7
March 25, 2010 at 12:43 -
here, you forgot about the effort to reduce the number of sick days taken by NHS staff to save £11billion – if that isn’t looking after our well being I don’t know what is … so there!!
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8
March 25, 2010 at 13:41 -
9
March 25, 2010 at 14:38 -
So, JPM got bailed out…
Who now works for JPM as a “consultant”?
Why, it’s liar Bliar!
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10
March 25, 2010 at 14:51 -
And JPM handles the Bank of Baghdad back office functions.
The Afghanistan growth of weed, up many hundreds of % since “Nato” got involved, travels to europe via CIA controlled Kosovo (that’s why the invasion, thats why Kos got independence) Take a look here
Takings are laundered through the Bank of Baghdad.
Hoodathunkit?
So were we fighting for Democracy anywhere in the world?
No, just international finance.
The blood of our, (and their) youngest and bravest wasted for what?
So Bliar can preen on the worlds stage?
Twas ever thus!
Did any of this come out at Chilcot?
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11
March 25, 2010 at 14:58 -
12
March 25, 2010 at 15:25 -
Re. smoking in cars – if childhood asthma has increased over the last 10 years, while smoking has decreased, would that not indicate that smoking is good for asthma?
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