The oppressed workers of the capitalist lackeys at ScotRail, you know the exploited ones who should be in control of the entire shebang in order to democratise power in the hands…you don’t need me to go on do you?
Anyway these ‘ere oppressed workers were engaged in a struggle for social justice, solidarity, democracy, pensions for civil partners, free plasma TVs for anyone employed over three months, and all points in between, and failing dismally to persuade the management of the essential righteousness of their claim.
Naturally they called for strike action.
‘We’ll close you down, we’ll bankrupt the company’, said they, ‘we’ll go and strike and you won’t be able to run your Caledonian Sleeper service’.
‘Right’, said the bosses, ‘when are you having this strike?’
‘Next Saturday, the comrades fancy a Saturday night out’.
‘Okey-dokey’, said the bosses in a meaningful negotiating manner, ‘no problem’.
And no problem it was, for the Caledonian Sleeper service was not scheduled to run that Saturday….
‘Rats’, said the comrades, ‘hadn’t realised that, well, we’ll bankrupt you the Saturday after then’…
‘Up to you, boyos’, said the bosses. ‘But have you ever bothered to look at a railway timetable? You do realise that we never run the Caledonian Sleeper service on a Saturday don’t you?’
‘Right, we’ll do it next Thursday, the boyos will just have to have a Thursday night out in town instead’.
‘OK’ said the bosses, ‘but if you look at the timetable again, you will see that the way the trains work out, if you go down to London on that day, you won’t have a train where you can use your free rail pass on to get back – you’ll have to pay your own fares – just trying to be helpful like, spirit of management co-operation and all that.’
‘Rats’ said the union,’ well we’ll just huff and puff on Saturday night anyway, even if the night sleeper isn’t running’.
Where would the comrades be, eh, if it wasn’t for the ever helpful management? Couldn’t organise a rail strike on a railway that lot.
What’s the strike about? Who opens and closes the train doors, unbelievably.
âNo one is losing their job and current terms and conditions are guaranteed. But the scheduled reopening of the Â£300m link is now at risk by a union campaign which boils down to who opens and shuts doors on trains.â