On the one hand Joanne Cash, the ultra slim, ultra blonde, libel barrister who arrived ‘from nowhere’ to find herself favourite for the venerable Westminster North seat.
In the other corner, Amanda Sayers, the not quite so slim, definitely not blonde, sometime barrister, who had spent years working assiduously and unglamourously on behalf of the Conservative Party in Westminster North.
Should these descriptions of physical attributes matter? Not in an ideal world. We don’t live in an ideal world.
Ms Cash also complicated the potential jealousies afoot by marrying the grandly named Octavius Black, a close Eton contemporary of David Cameron, in trendy Thailand. Ms Cash, or Mrs Black as we should refer to her is now expecting a baby, and despite the hormonal disturbances to be expected, has been attending a series of soirees at the heart of Cameroon, as is to be expected from someone married to a close associate of the Prime Minister in waiting.
The pregnancy was announced to a breathless world on the new fangled Twitter.
Ms Cash was supported in her desire not to see Mrs Sayers retain her place as Chairman of the association by a raft of high profile figures – Eric Pickles, Andy Coulson, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all. She was rewarded by Amanda Sayers, no doubt deflated by this high profile support for her demise, agreeing that she would stand down as Chairman.
The demise of Mrs Sayers was announced to a breathless world on Twitter.
All well and good so far. Unless you are Mrs Sayers.
A few minutes later, Mrs Sayers was thrown the potential bone of Presidency of the association by the surprise resignation of Lord Strathclyde.
One can only assume that it was not Ms Cash’s desire to see Mrs Sayers thrown any sort of face saving bone, but to be hustled from the building in humiliating disgrace – for it was at this point that she herself flounced, not only from the building but from the Conservative Party candidacy.You see Lord Strathclyde regularly issues dinner invitations to – ah, Mrs Sayers but rarely Ms Cash……..
By this monring Ms Cash had Twittered to the breathless world RIP Dinnosoars. Why?
Ms Cash announced on the micro-blogging website Twitter that Westminster North Conservative Association had refused her resignation.
Regarding Mrs Sayers’ position, a spokesman at Tory Party headquarters told the Mail: ‘I think you’ll find she’s no longer president, but you’ll have to confirm that with the local association.’
There ain’t nothing like an alpha dame thwarted. As for a pregnant one…
This then is part of the new influx of potential MPs who will revitalise a dishonoured parliament and be representative of their electorate. I have no idea what their policies are or what they intend to do about the loss of life in Afghanistan, the collapse of the banking system, or the rising tide of an underclass.
I’m sure they will get on very well with Luciana Berger, and providing everyone remembers to invite them to dinner parties on a rotational basis there shouldn’t be too much blood spilled in the Ladies Powder Room. Of course, the Gentleman’s Powder Room is also expecting an intake of Gay potential candidates. Just wait until they start clocking who is getting invitations to where…….
Oh for some real human beings in parliament; guts, honesty, dedication, hard work. I find it positively offensive that we are expected to take these social butterflies seriously.