Take up the British burden
Send forth the best ye breed
Go bind your sons to exile
To serve Afghani’s need;
To wait in heavy harness
For Taliban folk, and wild
Be-burkha’d sullen peoples,
Half devil and half child.

Take up the British burden –
Under surveillance to abide,
To check the threat of terror
On which they all have lied;
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain.
The blogger’s simple duty is,
To print the truth again.

Take up the Blogger’s burden –
The savage wars of peace!
Be rid of Gordon Brown
And bid the sickness cease;
And when our goal is nearest
The election sorely sought,
Watch proportional representation,
Bring all your hope to nought.

Take up the Blogger’s burden –
Nu-Labour rule as kings!
We toil as serf and writer –
And dream of simple things.
The Troughers dragged from office,
Their leaders hung from trees.
Go pierce them with your writing,
And let them hear your voice!

Take up the Blogger’s burden –
And reap the old reward:
The words of Ollie Cromwell,
Momentarily recalled.
The cry of freedom for the people!
(Ah, slowly!) toward the light: –
“Why brought ye us from bondage,
To give up without a fight?”

Take up the Blogger’s burden –
Ye dare not stoop to less –
Nor call too loud on freedom
To cloak your weariness;
By all ye cry or whisper,
By all ye leave or do,
The silent, sullen peoples
Are waiting just for you.

Take up the Blogger’s burden –
Have done with childish days –
The lightly proffered laurel,
The faint, ungrudged praise.
Come now, to search your manhood
For all have part to play,
The Internet is now your voice,
Rise up and have your say!

With ‘umble apologies to Rudyard Kipling.

1
John Demetriou February 3, 2010 at 15:53

Wow. That’s really….wow. I’m all choked up. That’s amazing.

I can now see why you are so revered and loved.

Amazing. And touching, truly it is….please keep blogging.

*dabs tear…*

2
Anna Raccoon February 3, 2010 at 15:57

And people say you are just a pre-programmed bot!

Thank-you for sharing.

3
John Demetriou February 3, 2010 at 16:53

No, only you said that. Do you think you are everyone?

And to think everyone says you’re narcissistic! (that was a bit of sarcasm there, in case you didn’t pick up on that).

I thought you packed this in, anyway? You sure that wasn’t a cynical grab for attention and sympathy?

4
Demetrius February 3, 2010 at 17:23

The tumult and the shouting dies;
The captains and kings depart:

5
Majic February 3, 2010 at 17:46

Eloquent Anna. Bravo !

6
Thaddeus J. Wilson February 3, 2010 at 18:12

Mr Demetriou, I persuaded Anna to keep fighting the good fight by offering my editorial assistance. I’m very glad that she agreed to do so.

I’m struck by a rather impolite tenor to your comments – if you do not like Anna’s writing, you are, of course, free to do something else with your time!

7
Rog February 3, 2010 at 18:34

Brilliant, thanks.

8
John Demetriou February 3, 2010 at 19:02

“I’m struck by a rather impolite tenor to your comments – if you do not like Anna’s writing, you are, of course, free to do something else with your time!”

I know I am free to do something else with my time. But for a couple of minutes of my time, I thought it would be a good idea to pop on here and mildly slag off the piece.

Is that OK with you, Mr Thaddeus J. Wilson?

I’m glad you’re here to throw your coat over those puddles, though. Poor dear, I mean, she can’t possibly do much for herself. Much less defend herself from evil hounds like me.

Adios, old boy.

9
Saul February 3, 2010 at 19:23

He is only raleighing around her.

10
Thaddeus J. Wilson February 3, 2010 at 20:10

Since you lack the wit of a knave, I can only assume that you are a churl, Mr Demetriou.

11
Gloria Smudd February 3, 2010 at 20:42

Saul @ 19.23: He is only raleighing around her.
……..
Armada the same opinion as you, and I note that the age of chi(ldish ri)valry isn’t dead.

12
John Demetriou February 3, 2010 at 21:15

Got me there, Boot Face.

Seriously though, why do people read this site?

It’s a pile of boring old p**s. No, really, it is.

Anyway, enjoy. Good luck in this year’s TP poll. Try and beat us this time, eh dears…

13
Saul February 3, 2010 at 21:27

You really must get that cat flap fixed.

14
Thaddeus J. Wilson February 3, 2010 at 22:54

Well, Mr Demetriou, I’m sure that when people feel the need to indulge in some coruscating enervation, they will head off to your offering instead. Some of us prefer a more gentle take on the world. I will sadly decline your offer of some sort of competition, as I feel you leave yourself a hostage to fortune if you validate yourself by something as pointless as the votes of strangers.

But I certainly hope that the “TP poll” brings you the contentment that seems to be so sadly lacking from your life.

15
John Demetriou February 3, 2010 at 23:18

Er, Anna Raccoon entered it last year and got a placing. But other than that, you got me by the bow locks. Well done.

16
Saul February 3, 2010 at 23:34

TP poll?

Two Pillocks?

17
Thaddeus J. Wilson February 4, 2010 at 07:44

That may well be true, but the difference between googling
site:annaraccoon.com “total politics”
and
site:boatangdemetriou.com “total politics”
is quite revealing. I don’t think that I am making any kind of change to our editorial stance here: if someone else wishes to nominate us and vote for us, that is very kind of them, but we will not relentlessly beat our own drum in the hope of getting people to vote for us.

Unlike some other bloggers.

18
Sabanes Oxley February 4, 2010 at 16:23

And Lo It Went Very Quiet

19
Anna Raccoon February 4, 2010 at 16:48

That particular Anon is very partial to a bit of Vera Baird.
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Vera!
Vera who?
Vera Baird her backside.

There you go Sabanes, that ought to bring her running – although she may have gone home for the night now – the night shift aren’t half as quick off the mark as she is……