I have been following the turgid, monotoned, dialectic of modernity, as the left seek to replace their champion, the oppressed working class – who have now vanished up the exhaust pipe of their new Ford Mondeo – with a variety of post-Marxist icons of inequality … crikey, I am starting to sound like them, I have been immersed in this urban proletariat world for too long….
However, I did come across a minor gem of the ‘hello-we’ve-found-a-new-example-of the-persecuted’ genre. This one may unite the comrades more effectively than any number of single mothers, ethnic minorities, or homosexuals, for although all have their devoted fans, it is football that reaches across the Blair-Brown divide, and reawakens the sad colourless lives of Labour voters and rouses them to a radical stand against the inequality of oppression . (Ed. Enough! Stop it Anna. )
I give you Heightism, and some scientific research that Harriet Harman (if she has any campaigning instinct at all) will shortly be including in her Equality Bill.
Two po-faced researchers at the Rotterdam School of Management have been fulfilling the requirements of their Erasmus grant by closely inspecting all recorded fouls in three major football competitions over a period of seven years. They have emerged from the grueling and selfless task of watching football videos day and night, to announce that in disputed fouls, referees are more likely to attribute the fault to the taller of the two players.
To put their assumption to a test, the scientists analysed all fouls recorded by Impire AG in seven seasons of UEFA Champions League (32,142 fouls) and German Bundesliga (85,262 fouls), the last three FIFA World Cups (6,440 fouls) as well as data from two additional perceptual experiments with football fans. For all seasons, leagues, and data collection methods, their analyses revealed the same picture confirming their initial assumption: taller people are indeed more often held accountable for fouls than shorter ones — even when no actual foul was committed.
Thus apparently proving that big men are perceived as bullying little men. Unfairly so, oppressively so.
Voila! We have a new category of identity victimisation for the socialists to flock behind in their ceaseless quest to eliminate oppression and exploitation within the capitalist polemic that is football.
Peter, forced to Crouch, to get a fair decision? Man the barricades!