Nothing, but nothing, is quite as delicious on the tongue as the slow melt of a square of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk and for that reason confirmation of Kraft’s hostile takeover leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. It’s the same taste left by “Nessles” after it tinkered with all the lovely Rowntree’s recipes and turned Kit Kat from a dreamy experience into something quite ordinary and made Toffee Crisps taste cheap and synthetic.
What makes British chocolate delicious is the chocolate itself. It isn’t about the wrappers, the ‘limited edition’ promotions, or even down to the size of the bar: it’s about the taste, and that is what will change. Cadbury & Kraft : as different as “choc and cheese”.
With Kraft in charge of Cadbury, we can look forward to a thoroughly American ‘makeover’ of our beloved chocolates, an unneeded facelift for all our favourites, a rejuvenating injection and a pneumatic, synthetic implant stuffed wherever the Cadbury’s range is judged to be showing its age.
And there you have it. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse, they have.