The Hot Pursuit of the Body Beautiful – what a pain in the arse.
Bottoms up!
So. 38-year old Solange Magnano, sometime clotheshorse and former Miss Argentina, has died following surgery designed to give her backside a cheeky little lift.
It seems that the leggy lovely was dissatisfied with her saggy sit-upon and fancied that some bum-boosting implants were just what she needed to achieve this season’s must-have derriere.
Sadly for Ms Magnano, her husband and her eight-year old twins, something went horribly wrong during the procedure which is known comfortingly as gluteoplasty. It seems that liquid injected into the glamorous patient at some stage of the operation found its way into her lungs and brain, causing blood clots, a pulmonary embolism and her death just days later.
A friend of Ms Magnano, fashion designer Roberto Piazza is reported to have said “A woman who had everything lost her life to have a slightly firmer behind”.
Quite so, Roberto Piazza, fashion designer! For crying out loud, this woman had legs up to her armpits, a successful modelling career, knew the thrill of being officially crowned the best-looking bird in her country and ended up happily married with two kids! No wonder the poor tortured soul could find no peace until she had some gloop-filled whoopee cushions stuffed into her bum – let us not forget that a slightly firmer behind is, in fact, everything that it’s cracked up to be.
Let us not for a moment underestimate the financial wherewithal and the single-minded obsession with physical perfection required to brave the surgeon’s knife and his eye-watering fees! Let us not pooh-pooh the effort required to take one’s innate beauty for granted and to seek a tidier tush in order to be true to one’s ‘sense of self’! Let us champion this gorgeous girl who was prepared to take her good fortune and family life for granted and to throw herself into a heartfelt head-butt with the hideous hag she feared lay within, waiting to drag her buttocks down beyond her knees! The poor dear was more prepared to die on the operating table than to have a bit of a blobby bottom at the age of 38 and why not? At least she died with a ‘slightly firmer behind’.
So, Solange Magnano, we, who have only ever been able to dream of 34-inch hips and a perky embonpoint, salute you; we, who are grateful for the comfort that only an elasticated-waistband can afford, applaud that you were driven that extra mile towards breathtaking exquisiteness; we, who are astonished that anyone could want to make their bum BIGGER, heave our portly frames out of our comfy chairs and cheer your dedication-to-task. You died young, beautiful and you are a lesson to us all, even if we aren’t all firmly behind you in the misguided choice you made.
Those moved by her story can leave comments on a Facebook group which has been created in tribute to Ms Magnano, her beauty and the bum-choice she made.
- First Class posts on Wednesday Letters From A Tory
- December 2, 2009 at 21:13
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
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December 2, 2009 at 09:05 -
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December 2, 2009 at 09:28 -
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December 2, 2009 at 09:30 -
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December 2, 2009 at 10:02 -
I can’t even crack a smile at this one. The lengths to which some women will go rather than fall even a nanometre below ’show standard’ astonishes me. Wasn’t there enough Bot in Botox already?
I am both flabby and ghasted at the same time. -
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December 2, 2009 at 10:08 -
I shall rush off and have this done immediately. And if that doesn’t work I shall have a Boob Job. Although I fear I might have left this Die Young and Beautiful a bit late.
Oh well, Bottoms Up.
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December 2, 2009 at 10:23 -
She got a bum deal…
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December 2, 2009 at 12:28 -
As if bum implants weren’t bad enough, it is apparently not unknown for LA women to subject themselves to a process known as anal bleaching. I kid you not. That’s not quite the kind of sparkly ring I’d immediately think of.
Imagine having to administer the bleach… I bet for some beauticians every year seems like an anus horribilis…
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December 2, 2009 at 12:47 -
my better half once elicited a flight-or-fight response from an ourang-outan. (same hair colour and general build)
would i swap her for a dolly-bird? not on your life!
modification of the physical form may be justified to repair an attack by a bear or burns from an exploding tilley-lamp, but otherwise it’s a sign of terrible insecurity.
most of us look, at the very least, OK, and survive well enough.
for instance, try and think of a really good-looking political leader. benazir bhutto was beautiful, and mussolini in his prime was handsome. who else? exactly! -
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December 2, 2009 at 12:48 -
I wonder if there is money to be made in fat arse donation? If so, I could be quids in!
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December 2, 2009 at 12:56 -
Could be salvation for us blokes if the new question is to be…..
Does my bum look big enough in this?
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