Post-Coital Depression
How fitting that the end of the much vaunted ‘special relationship’ should come about in the kitchens of the UN building.
The BBC headlines over the past year tell the story poignantly.
Obama calls for strong UK links. July 08.
PM congratulates Obama by phone. Nov 08.
Brown hails Obama’s inauguration. Jan 09.
Brown speaks to President Obama. Jan 09.
Obama greets ‘good friend’ Blair. Feb 09.
Brown and Obama to meet in March. Feb 09.
No 10 ‘frantic’ over Obama talks. Sept 09.
The humiliating image of Gordon Brown scuttling between the bain-maries hoping for a last glance, a kind word, from the gigolo who, if truth be told, had continued to agree to occasional trysts merely to ensure that the loan granted 60 years ago was finally repaid.
A wiser courtesan than Brown would not have risked a dalliance with Colonel Gaddafi when he no longer had a hold over his Sugar Daddy.
60 years ago the United Nations was a mere infant, Britain a vulnerable and accomodating young woman, and Uncle Sam, feeling virile, draped the The Marshall Plan around her neck to plight his troth, with the proviso that she should repay annually the price of this glittering bauble.
In 2006, the raddled and infertile old crone that Britain had become, repaid the last of that debt. Uncle Sam was heard to say that he found visiting her a ‘faintly depressing experience‘, that had an ‘end of regime feeling about the whole thing’. She was ‘lacklustre’. Uncle Sam was looking East and wooing an ingenue Chinese maiden.
Gordon Brown, imagining he still had powers of seduction over Uncle Sam, responded to this chain of events, with a series of afternoon meetings in a seedy motel with that old goat Gaddafi. He plied him with gifts, an oil exploration contract, the Libyan bomber al-Megrahi was delivered to his tent. Gaddafi groaned with pleasure.
Sam’s patience was exhausted. Thus it was that when Brown flew over expecting champagne and oysters, he found only a fake award for ‘global statesman‘ bestowed by that relic of the 60s, Bono, and despite his plaintive bleating, was reduced to lurking in the hotel kitchens as security smuggled his gilded suitor off stage and safely past his fans.
Gordon didn’t even get an autograph.
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1
September 24, 2009 at 10:16 -
Made it, Ma! Top of the world!
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2
September 24, 2009 at 10:46 -
You doirty rat!
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3
September 24, 2009 at 12:04 -
BO seems to be backpedalling faster than Lance Armstrong on speed – it’s no surprise that we pinko liberals are such a cynical bunch. Feet of clay, anyone?
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4
September 24, 2009 at 12:26 -
A passionate embrace from Obama after the release of Al Megrahi was always going to be a big ask. Brown could have saved himself the embarrassment if he just had the self-awareness to pose the question “Does my ask look big in this?”, but then Brown always was the frumpy sister whilst bubble-headed Blair really knew how to gussy up and keep his Bush trimmed.
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5
September 24, 2009 at 12:36 -
Gordon Brown + seduction – in the same sentence??
Anna are you well?
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6
September 24, 2009 at 12:40 -
Perhaps I should have yelled “Yo Barack” when I saw him.
He probably doesn’t speak a word of Gaelic -
7
September 24, 2009 at 13:50 -
Hell hath no fury like a Barack Scorned….
Gordon refused to meet him when he was a presidential candidate. It has come back to bite him badly.
Oh you twat Gordon. You really have fucked up this time.
The cream at the top has a layer of mould spreading over it and making it crusty, and Barack can smell it across the pond.
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8
September 24, 2009 at 16:00 -
PRESIDENT Obama has cleared his schedule for a high level meeting with Bulgaria’s deputy minister for sport
Obama was unable to meet Mr Brown yesterday because he was staring at a rug
Mr Obama will meet Ivan Lekov at the United Nations later today to discuss Bulgaria’s drive to improve table tennis facilities for the under 14s. -
9
September 24, 2009 at 16:46 -
OH
let’s just hope and pray that Gordon understands the needs of under 14 year old Bulgarian table tennis players because as you will appreciate – THIS COULD BE WAR!! Nokias loaded and ready to fire….
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10
September 24, 2009 at 17:37 -
I wonder if the GB and BO will lie back and have a relaxing post- coital ciggie?
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11
September 24, 2009 at 19:58 -
Labour pains – the consequence of getting royally screwed.
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12
September 24, 2009 at 20:08
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13
September 24, 2009 at 20:34 -
Seems like I think I want to spend the evening at home.. after all.
Dont feel like going out and spending money
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14
September 24, 2009 at 22:08 -
If the “Special Relationship” is ended can we now bring our troops home from that rat infested, sandy hell-hole, inhabited by raving lunatic ragheads,known as Afghanistan?
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15
September 25, 2009 at 00:52 -
Actually it’s the US that is not what it used to be. So they could have been old crones together.
Think we’d better forget the burgers and get used to curry and noodles.
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