The Telegraph has made us wise
To claims which made us stretch our eyes!
Our MPs have a clever way
To supplement their basic pay
And anything their lifestyle lacks,
They’ll simply buy it with our tax!
They’ll dress their mansions and their moats
And still expect to get our votes.
We buy their nice big second houses,
We pay their siblings, kids and spouses;
They claim back money for the lot
(Like mortgages they haven’t got)
And think it’s right and proper too
For us to pay for Prescott’s loo;
They argue in a tone most fervant
That we should pay to house a “servant”.
At first they took us all for fools,
Maintaining that they broke no rules
When Jackie’s bloke watched something rude
Or Prescott claimed the max for food;
When Hazel flipped her domicile
She flashed us her most smirksome smile
And hoped the flip would be ignored,
Despite it looking just like fraud.
But now we know they’re all just crooks
Who make the rules and cook the books,
Who won’t stand down despite detection
And hang on till the next election.
Until such time, they’re here to stay
To keep their pensions and their pay;
That way their system just can’t fail ‘em
(Unless, of course, we get to jail ‘em!)