Catch a pair of errant MPs
Vast expenses hidden from all
In a mercenary coup –
Do not heed their mild surprise –
Having passed the Rubicon
They’re a pair of brazen clips;
Take a figure cunningly planned,
To deceive the electorate
(be particular in this);
With their tender little hands
Fringed with dainty thieving tips
They have been ripping us off for
many years and years
Ah! Take the dosh you vile men –
Take and keep it if you can!
Take the lot, you vile men –
Take and keep it, if you can, if you can!

Take a pretty little cot –
Quite a miniature affair –
Circumscribed with moat and duck,
Furnish it upon the spot
With the treasures rich and rare
That the Telegraph’s described.
Live to fleece and fleece to live –
You will profit at your ease,
As we taxpayers all rot
We have nothing more to give
You’re too hard for us to please
And, you’re never satisfied, never satisfied.
Ah! Take our counsel, you MPs;
Act upon it if you please, act upon it if you please,
If you please, act upon it if you please
‘Cos if you don’t we will be so mad we’ll
Damn you all to hell!

We will damn you all to hell!
If you fail to sort it out!
If you fail to serve us right
Yes we’ll damn the whole of parliament to hell.