Old salts will recognise the signs immediately – our beloved leader sending out distress signals as the Good Ship Britannia staggers and wallows over onto her beam ends…..and no sign of the Captain being keel-hauled! – is it too much to ask of life that he should be hoist on his own petard and hung upside down from a flagpole? I never did much care for the cut of his jib. 

A hat tip to the excellent Old Croydonian and my thanks for this picture of our proud ensign flying upside down, unnoticed by the land-lubbing politicians. 

 A link to a special glossary of ancient nautical terms HERE for our overseas readers!

Gloria Smudd
February 7, 2009 at 01:23

then I’ll send you een jus aanu, suicker.

Ch February 7, 2009 at 00:54

medicijn, even

Ch February 7, 2009 at 00:54

Yes, I always take [even] 2 spoontjes suiker in mijn kopje thee

Good night, Gloria.

Sorry, I missed all of the fun on the other thread…

Gloria Smudd
February 7, 2009 at 00:47

Would you like a spoontje full of sugar in your kopje thee, then? I believe
it makes the medjecine go down marvellously well!

Gloria Smudd
February 7, 2009 at 00:43

Then you’ll know why we all say pod stegs and understand why wicked,
loveable Smudd teased his lovely mum and why we all speak in a Dutch accent at
home; it means she’s still close to all our hearts. We do actually sing Dutch
folk songs at Christmas but none of us dares make Applecake these days – but
the tempex episode was so funny ..

Ch February 7, 2009 at 00:35

When I was very little, we had my German grandmother living in. I can
assure you we had a very peculiar in-speak at home. It was a shock for me to
find out when going to school, that I was using many non-existing words.
Having grown up now [to use a euphemism] and working with an international
team of collaborators, I have big joy in using with them a strange mix of
mainly English, French and Dutch, resulting in such words like “spoontje”

Glad Allover
February 7, 2009 at 00:30

for fear of repeating myself:

Pod stegs, indeed! Pod bloody stegs? Tempex? Tem bloody pex? What

Gladys Allover
February 7, 2009 at 00:29

Pod stegs, indeed! Pod bloody stegs? Tempex? Tem bloody pex? What’s the
bloomin’ world comin’ to? Shoddy language skills, I say, bloomin’ shoddy.
Chatelaine, I feel sorry that you have to put up with this nonsense. (mutter,
mutter, bloomin’ pod stegs … )

Gloria Smudd
February 6, 2009 at 16:00

I had a feline you’d come up with something like that.

Saul February 6, 2009 at 15:43

In my experience kittens speak Klingon, that is, everything they can get
their claws into.

Gloria Smudd
February 6, 2009 at 15:35

Twiddles thumbs … tries to think of doggie puns … hums absent-mindedly ….
twiddles thumbs … wonders whether to claim that her kittens speak Catalan in
response to brilliant SpaniEL …. decides against it … grudgingly admits that
‘Scholl we dance’ was brilliant too …

Gloria Smudd
February 6, 2009 at 15:05

And of course we wash down our pod stegs with a kopje thee…

Gloria Smudd
February 6, 2009 at 15:02

It’s odd, then, that though Smuddy doesn’t actually speak Dutch, he does
speak almost all the time in a Dutch accent! He used to tease his lovely mum
by taking the mickey out of her accent and in fact we all pepper our
conversations with things like “pod stegs” (poached eggs) and “tempex”
(tent-pegs).

Coco February 5, 2009 at 23:56

Ch

Coco February 5, 2009 at 23:52

Good night Chatelaine ……….. Just catching up Kittens! What a day and a half
………. and don’t even know everything yet. I see Milly has been a Half-Wit.

Was just thinking on the way home ……….. I don’t think it’s healthy having
all these young men and ugly women in the UK and US Governments ………. Am I
wrong to think in this way?

Have I turned into my Mother?

I don’t like the way the World is going ………… not one bit!

Ch February 5, 2009 at 23:13

Haha

Good
night, dears!

Saul February 5, 2009 at 23:04

I’ve beeb expecting you. Scholl we dance?

Gloria Smudd
February 5, 2009 at 22:54

Oh. I’ve just seen I typed ‘beeb’. Bugger. That isn’t what I meant to
type.

Gloria Smudd
February 5, 2009 at 22:52

I’ll tell you exactly where it has led this evening, young man; I’ve been
attempting a complicated double-twixt-clog-over-flick-flack-with-sonorous
“Alto”embroidered-notes; that means I’ve beeb sight-reading musical form at
the same time as broadly interpreting some intricate wooden-sole work, so less
of your lip under these circumstances, laddie, if you please! I’ve a nasty
sprain now and some severe grazing about the swollen ankles; if you take into
account the persistent oedema, then I think you’ll agree I’m a sorry sort,
here on the floor … thank goodness those lovely Paramedics have brought their
winch. I’ll be back in my comfy chair in a matter of hours.xx

Ch February 5, 2009 at 22:48

Aaaaahhhh …

Well, I’ll get over it. Don’t worry. Will sleep on my dictionary and prints
from Google. Flip in some Wikipedia. Should do it. No problem.

Good night:-D

Saul February 5, 2009 at 22:34

Who knows where it could lead to.

Saul February 5, 2009 at 22:34

You just caught the tail end of it.

Gloria Smudd
February 5, 2009 at 22:29

Damn. I’ve missed this ….

Saul February 5, 2009 at 22:29

Sweet Dreams of Rabbits!

Saul February 5, 2009 at 22:14

You are a Wag! Keep littering this thread with Dog puns and it will have to
be impounded.

Anna Raccoon
February 5, 2009 at 22:24

I’ll chew on it overnight Saul, I’m off to my basket now, been a long
day.

Saul February 5, 2009 at 22:03

Just paws for thought. I’m sure you will come up with something.

Anna Raccoon
February 5, 2009 at 22:08

There’s the tail end of something on the tip of my tongue, one of the
advantages of being a Bitch.

Saul February 5, 2009 at 21:31

I have an English Espana cross…. it speaks SpaniEL

Anna Raccoon
February 5, 2009 at 21:43

I think we’re all struck dumb Saul – difficult to follow such a class
act!

Ch February 5, 2009 at 21:24

And .. my dogs speak Dutch [and French, English & Spanish]. No offense
meant

Anna Raccoon
February 5, 2009 at 21:26

Your dogs speak Anglo-Saxon, I promise you.

Ch February 5, 2009 at 21:23

Oh Gloria …

Anna Raccoon
February 5, 2009 at 21:25

As for her soft shoe shuffle in those clogs……..

Gloria Smudd
February 5, 2009 at 17:17

However, his sister does speak some Dutch and on happier Christmases than
the one just endured, we have been known to gather round the piano after an
agreeable meal and some glasses of fizzy pop and belt out a few old Dutch folk
songs. I can’t vouch for my pronunciation, but my harmonies are spot-on.

Gloria Smudd
February 5, 2009 at 16:37

Chatelaine – Old Smuddy’s mother was Dutch. I once asked him why he hadn’t
wanted to learn the language. He thought about it for a while and replied “Why
would I need to learn Dutch? How often do I need to speak to Belgians?”

Ch February 5, 2009 at 15:51

I find your reply a bit late; ’twas deep down in the threads.
So you
speak no Dutch despite a Dutch grandmother?

Anna Raccoon
February 5, 2009 at 16:04

Afternoon Ch

Coco February 4, 2009 at 18:42

It’s Fairy language Chatelaine. I speak Fairy!!! And a bit of English – I
can follow German and French when I am well.

Ch February 4, 2009 at 10:19

Good morning.
Evelyn Waugh is not too difficult to follow, Coco
What’s
your first language b.t.w.?

Anna Raccoon
February 4, 2009 at 10:21

Gobbledegook, Ch

Coco
February 4, 2009 at 03:40

Gloria! ……… You do know that English is not my first language don’t you?!

I wonder sometimes if we put people off daring to post to us when they see
the way we talk to each other on here ……… It’s like a whole new language ……….
They must scratch their heads ………….

Good job Chatelaine is extra-multi-lingual ……… But I think she will have
learned another one if she stays with us! – Especially after our Troll episode
the other night!

And ………. my family ……….. they errrr ……. never mentioned the War ……….

Gloria Smudd
February 4, 2009 at 01:00

And with that, I wish you all a good Evelyn.

Gloria Smudd
February 4, 2009 at 00:50

A very good friend of mine told me that his late father was of the opinion
that what this country needed was another war. Only it turned out he meant
another Waugh. Make of that what you will.

Coco
February 3, 2009 at 23:33

It is frightening Jo ……….. I see Africa and Asia are not sent foodstuffs
and medical supplies. Western Governments protest that they don’t send the
supplies because the militants sequester them …………. But you and I know the
truth!

There is a major plan to reduce the number of people in countries that
cannot sustain themselves ……………… but no Government will admit it.

The druggy companies are at the helm of this destruction of humankind and
nobody will tell me any different until they nationalise the whole filthy
industry.

Maybe we will get head-ache tablets and vaccines for a couple of quid
instead of the extornionate amounts we actually have to pay ………

When patents run out ……… they are always renewed ……….. just under a
different name.

But I seriously believe that Wars are encouraged to wipe out the
populations of certain areas.

jo February 3, 2009 at 22:59

No…its all about THE crisis and me I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown
with all their lies,the global LIES
There
is a very good one,surely you know it? “hasta que se sepa la verdad”.(I was
not talking about that one tho”!)
Gone for a munch and an early night.I am
dead meat.
See you tomorrow

Coco February 3, 2009 at 22:49

Anything errrrrr ………. interesting at all? Anything that we should pop in
the MM thread ………..? I can’t read Spanish ………… or Portuguese ………..

jo February 3, 2009 at 22:22

jajajajajaja I was on a spanish stooopid blog.What a non-level they”ve
got,honestly

Coco February 3, 2009 at 22:15

Oh Jo! How I have missed you.

jo February 3, 2009 at 21:57

REVOLUTION NOW !!!
Thats what we need in the UkK and all over our
bleeding planet
Hang
on…I”ll put my “morgan coat” on
I will be off in 3 freaking days now.Just
on a course : how to kill bugs in poor countries and dig up hole to make wells
… as if they didnt know how to find it themselves…err…ooops!
Hey! by the
way,what did he do again,Mr.Bordon Grown? He is looking fatter by the day…yuk
the man yukyukyukyuk

Coco February 3, 2009 at 21:32

Time for mutiny then!

Gordie’s beam wants kicking! We need a massive a re-shuffle of all the
Half-Wits he has in the Cabinet ………. And yes that includes Mandy, Milly and
that dreadful Jacqui Smith.

He needs to take a leaflet out of Obama’s book as from today and get the
experts and academics to run the country.

This is not a Labour Government!

Gordie has given us a taste of Fascism that even Hitler balked at!

Bugger off Gordie …………… and take that Sour-Puss of a wife with you!

I have nightmares about her ending up in some Governmental role.

I am shuddering even thinking about the shower of sh*te that are running
the country. No wonder the rest of the World hates us.

Gloria Smudd
February 3, 2009 at 20:12

These people seem to have a flare for this sort of thing.

Gloria Smudd
February 3, 2009 at 18:07

Sounds like someone’s in line for a good clipper round the ear.

Saul February 3, 2009 at 14:47

“To stand and be still
to the Birken’ead Drill
is a damn tough bullet
to chew ”

R. Kipling.