The New World Order is here. Do we go with Obama and the USA or do we allow Kenneth Clarke to lead us into Europe?
In a week where we have witnessed the inauguration of Barack Obama and the timely arrival of Kennth Clarke into the bosom of David Cameron’s Conservative Party, even a lateral thinker would wonder if there is a puppet-master tugging on the strings of the Global Economy.
This is the beginning of the New World Order. Nobody is safe. Our times of sitting on the fence are almost over. Do we swing our legs into Europe or rely on the US to protect us from what we are about to receive?
Do Europe even want us anymore? Does the US even need us?
The UK is out on a limb. A weak and diseased limb. The end is nigh.
January 25, 2009 at 18:27
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Forsooth! …….. You cads and larks! ………..
- January 25, 2009 at 15:22
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Eartha Kitten and Cat Stevens to record with the Pussy Cat Dolls.
Cats the way I like It
I don’t want to bee s mitten by coco.
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January 25, 2009 at 15:00
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Oh Bee-have! Who are you going to bring in next? Dr. Beevil and Mini-Bee?
This is supposed to be a nice story about kittens, remember! Beeware the wrath
of Coco….
- January 25, 2009 at 14:30
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Gordon Sumner said, “In light of recent events, I am reverting to my real
name”
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January 25, 2009 at 14:18
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Never was a buttal so stinging; Queen launched into a rousing rendition of
“Bee are the Champions” which went down a swarm.
- January 25, 2009 at 14:12
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The Busy Bee Gees have accused them of plagiarism, in a stinging
rebuttal.
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January 25, 2009 at 14:06
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The buzz on the streets is that the “Tee-Hee-Bee-Gees” have a new single
out – it’s called “Stay in a Hive” – but of course, you knew that.
- January 25, 2009 at 13:49
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I wouldn’t Bee seen dead in St Ives, it gives me hives. As for the golden
haired honey, I will comb the streets for her.
- January 25, 2009 at 11:39
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Couldn’t find a relevant thread to post this (hope all affected by the
storms are safe and well) but I just want to shout——————— —-RESPECT to Tony
Benn!!!
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January 25, 2009 at 11:09
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The fair and beautiful maiden tossed her flaxen tresses and shoved her
jewelled pistol back into her Carter Ruck Sack. “Listen, chum,” she hissed,
“keep your nose for a story out of this and just forget all about kits, cats,
sacks and wives, OK? And steer clear of St. Ives, if you know what’s good for
you. “
- January 24, 2009 at 18:01
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Dimbelbydoor cradled La Flint’s limp body in his arms.
“Finally, I get a decent looking bird on Question Time, instead of the
usual dried up Tory columnists and look what happens”
The “Tee-Hees” floated eerily back through the fog.
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January 24, 2009 at 17:50
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Coco – what chanel are you on?
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January 24, 2009 at 16:12
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And in Real Life …….. it really is that bad. But the BBC are playing it
down. France and Spain have homes without power an droads cut off by fallen
trees.
Are the BBC anti-Europe?
The BBC have refused to run an appeal for Gaza!
Can you believe it?
But ITV have said they will do the appeal instead.
Talk about an own goal for the BBC!
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January 24, 2009 at 15:28
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Looks like France is having a bit of bad weather. No doubt there will be
those who will complain of their having no electricity and pretend that it was
like a hurricane and a State of Emergency had to be declared blah blah! As if!
The French don’t half exaggerate! Even people who aren’t actually French but
just live there become prone to exaggeration – No doubt they will be hanging
around here this week telling us of the horrors.
They will be telling us it was like the end of the World and that people
were told to stay in their own homes and not even go out in an emergency.
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January 24, 2009 at 15:21
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But luckily Saul! ……… Luckily!!! A fair and beautiful maiden called Coco
with hair of spun silk that shone like gold – just happened to come walking
down the Embankment on her evening stroll to Fairyland and took a dainty
diamond-encrusted hand-gun out of her purse ……… and shot Carloine’s fucking
brains out all over the Embankment and made a terrible mess!
So stop spoiling the story about the Kittens
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January 24, 2009 at 15:18
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Ok. You go and do something very useful and I’ll go and laugh at the
Charlie Bit My Finger clip on Youtube. TTFN!
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January 24, 2009 at 15:11
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How fucking sad are we? I have got twigs to snap and paths to clear
……….
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January 24, 2009 at 15:07
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Mandy looked ever so sleek and slick ……………………. Slick with slickness. And
then suddenly …….. as silently as he had arrived ………. he slid off at the next
wave of an Oligarch’s hand ………. Where he found himself on yet another yacht.
‘Mmmmm.’ He sighed. ‘I could get used to this. Please God don’t let me get
caught out this time. I am running out of lives!’
Then he raised his hand and beckoned the deck-hand over with his chubby
little paw. ‘Fill this!’ He said – and pointed to his glass. It was a
pint-pot!’
But the deck-hand filled it. ‘Lucky deck-hand!’ Thought Mandy the Mandibles
– whose cheeky boyish grin could stop trafficking ………… I mean traffic!
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January 24, 2009 at 14:57
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The cats all bowed their heads as Kenneth the Kitten said: ” Let us
spray.”
- January 24, 2009 at 14:55
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Fresh from Sasson’s, sporting the Cruella De Ville white streak. Caroline
started laying down saucers of Tia Maria spiked milk. All leading to Gordon’s
big Sac on the embankment.
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January 24, 2009 at 14:54
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And Ed popped his head out of the sack and mewed in a purely theoretical
way – because that’s the kind of cat he is …….. and said …… ‘Im here! I don’t
know for how long ……… but I am here. Please don’t lecture me on teaching and
education …….. and don’t make me read any more amendments to the Education
Acts ……….’
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January 24, 2009 at 14:47
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Mandy the Oleaginous sidled up silently. “That’s a nice big sac, Gornod,”
he purred, “have you got Balls in there?”
- January 24, 2009 at 14:45
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The pair of you have just ruined a cute little story now about how kittens
become cats ………… Tonius the Todger and I, Gordonius had not even been
mentioned …………….
- January 24, 2009 at 14:26
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The words Royal Mail could be clearly seen on the side of the Politician
size sack that Gordon had draped over his left shoulder. He whistled softly as
he twirled the wire twine in his right hand.
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January 24, 2009 at 14:09
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Suddenly, all the collected cats sprang into the air, their hackles raised
and their dear little kitty-tails fluffed out to their bog-brush best. Ears
back and eyes as wide as the saucers from which they picked at their
kitty-nibbles, the uneasy felines watched as a menacing shape moved past the
cat flap …. It was Gornod Gonad, the Ten-ton-testis-toting-Tom from Number Ten
…..
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January 24, 2009 at 13:22
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If only he didn’t have such pasty features …….. and that weak chin! Life is
just not fair ………. He always looks as if he has just woken up. Bless him.
- January 24, 2009 at 13:11
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The bedraggled Osborne the runt sat mewling pitifully on the doorstep.
It was an ill wind that blew up his jacksie, his little button nose pushed
up to the bulls-eye glass in Dave-Davie-Boys front door.
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January 24, 2009 at 13:03
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Kenneth the Kitten rolled over lazily and stretched his kitten-fat filled
body across his fluffy blanket. He lifted the lid from the tourine on the
table.
‘Mmmmm!’ He sighed. ‘Medallions of Mandelson with whipped cream.’ The
medallions were bite-sized chunks ……… So that he didn’t eat him all at once.
‘Delicious.’ Said Kenneth the Kitten as he popped a testicle-sized chunk into
his mouth. ‘Delicious!’ He always enjoyed breakfast.
Pure delight! He licked his lips and practised his empty stare in the
mirror.
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January 24, 2009 at 12:48
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HELP NEEDED HERE! IMPORTANT!
If John Major only had a tiny thingy – will I get done for libel?
In my story I have described him as Major Jumbo-Johnny and I want to get
the facts right.
So if anybody has any information regarding John Major’s thingy – please
let me know.
I hope I have it right. Would John Major even tell us if it was weeny? I
reckon he would like us thinking he has a jumbo-thingy on here.
I may ring the Edible Egg in a minute – to make sure ……….
We don’t want any libel on here ……….. with the media monitors knocking
about at all hours of the day ………….. Spying on us ……….. Like they used to do
in Russia!!!
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January 24, 2009 at 12:41
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Saul! Do you think that John Major had a jumbo-sized thingy? I hope he did
– or I might get done for libel …………..
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January 24, 2009 at 12:30
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SAUL!
I forget that somebody might be reading sometimes …….. Howzit goin’?
Some of our comrades may be missing ……… I had to pit a thread up about
dissidents and media monitors ………. if you get my drift!
- January 24, 2009 at 12:27
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Coco – you wag. It’s stretching it a bit when you mention Cameron and
testicles in the same sentence.
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January 24, 2009 at 12:27
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Cameron the Cat felt decidedly uneasy. It was something he could not put
his paw on. He could have sworn that Kenneth the Kitten was casting malevolent
stares all over his body.
He could feel him with his sixth sense. He deliberately started to clean
his testicles all over again – just to prove to himself that he still had
them.
Kenneth the Kitten rolled over and pretended to go to sleep. ‘I will sit
and stare at Cameron the Cat all day tomorrow. Just to unnerve him.’
And with that thought Kenneth the Kitten fell into a prophetic and
visionary dream. Cameron the Cat was his chauffeur and butler. Tabby Tebbit
was stroking him and the Whispering Whitelaw was combing his whiskers.
Then suddenly Maggie the Moggie threw herself astride Kenneth the Kitten.
She howled into his ear about where she knew he was going next …………
And the dream went on ………… He even found himself having intimate relations
with Edwina Edible-Egg Currie and Major Jumbo-Johnny …….. at the same time.
Kenneth the Kitten did not want the dream to end ………. Well – not until he
was the Prime Minister with a chateau in France and an office in Berlin.
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January 24, 2009 at 12:03
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Kenneth the Kitten cast a most malevolent stare towards Cameron the Cat.
Cameron the Cat was still licking his testicles. ………. ‘I would like those
on a plate.’ Said Kenneth the Kitten under his breath – as he took the froth
of his very special ale ……….
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January 24, 2009 at 11:55
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Lucille Astique 01.23.09 at 10:10 pm [edit]
soft-shoe cabinet shuffle –
I wish I
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January 24, 2009 at 11:36
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Cobblers!
Lucille! Very clever! – Just remembered the last time I had loose
elastic!!!
‘Twas a cold wind that blew! ……… In fact it blew right up my crinoline –
all the way up to my stays! The offending garment landing in a puddle ………. The
puddle was not of my own making ……….
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January 23, 2009 at 22:10
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soft-shoe cabinet shuffle – I wish I’d thought of that.
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January 23, 2009 at 22:08
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I’ll lace my comments with a few arch suggestions, on that you may rely. I
often find myself out of step with popular opinion, being a sole-seeker and
yet a bit of a heel; I don’t keep my lip buttoned, that’s for sure.
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January 23, 2009 at 21:42
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I’ve made up my mind and I won’t be suede.
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January 23, 2009 at 22:02
- January 23, 2009 at 21:14
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Don’t step on the Blue’s suede shoes.
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January 23, 2009 at 20:44
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The UK is out on a limb. A weak and diseased limb. The end is nigh.
~*~
Yes, but would the weak and diseased limb look better sporting a brown
suede shoe?
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January 23, 2009 at 17:02
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I rest my case Anna Racccoon! The UK is doomed to obliteration or
obscurity. Or both!
Hark! I hear distant bells tolling ……….. The long night drags ever nearer
………… Terrible times are approaching. Nay! There are not words to describe the
turmoil that approaches …………. No words or thoughts that a politician has dared
describe to date can prepare us for what is on its way …………
It will be fucking horrid and there won’t even be a turnip or a swede to
feed the Anna Raccooners.
Aaaaaaaaaagggghhhhh!
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January 23, 2009 at 17:14
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January 23, 2009 at 16:55
{ 45 comments }