Kenneth Clarke, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, will return to the Conservative front bench in todayâs major reshuffle. He will become shadow business secretary and take on the equally shadowy figure of Lord Mendacious of Fey, the former Peter Mandelson.
It is only weeks since Ken Clarke was openly saying that he âwished he was Chancellor nowâ, and it seems that David Cameron disagreed although in a stroke of near genius, he has set the âlion of the jungleâ free to engage the gazelle like Mandy.
I doubt that you could get decent odds on the match now that the news is out.
Ken is the very antithesis of the mincing Mandelson; an ever present cigar and a pint in his local pub, a spell on the snooker table and home to the amiable and reticent Gillian, whilst Mandelson buggers off to the dubious delights of Morocco.
The slithering sibilant Mandelson may pride himself on his mastery of the dark arts, but he will be no match for Ken thundering down the pitch in full bull elephant mode; behind Kenâs brawn lies a formidable brain combined with yearâs of experience at standing up for himself in open election and parliament.
I donât normally enjoy blood sports, but this contest will be enlivened with such humour that I wouldnât miss a second.
Hush puppy, Kenâs about to walk all over you.