WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY 100 WATT LIGHT-BULB!

It’s a sad day when our tiny group of islands called the UK decide that we have to go along with the EU ….. again!

It has been decided that the 100 watt light-bulb is to be banned to save energy.

What? When we are surrounded by the most choppy waters on the planet that could create electricity for fractions of pennies?

What? When we have the draughtiest, windy climes on the planet to create electricity

Where once we used one light-bulb, we will now need at least four to do the same job. More risk of mercury poisoning and the damnedest of head-aches for all ages.

A message to the EU from Coco …….. I have just dug out two 300 watts light-bulbs ……. And I am not even going to use the dimmer switches!

coco January 9, 2009 at 03:48

Saul! That was a very, very dangerous post that you have put up about your
fridge!

As a result I have just had some internal emails leaked to me from a
friendly mole who works for the Government ……..

The emails say that some grey men in grey suits have read your comment on
here about your fridge and they are seriously considering having all the major
white goods manufacturers deliberately use the killer-watt light-bulbs in all
electricals from next Sunday …….

So thanks a lot Saul! In future …… would you bear in mind that the New
World Government is desperate for any ideas on killing off the World’s human
population ……. Your casual and loose talk will cost many lives …… so it will
be all your fault when millions are writhing in agony and dyung from mercury
poisoning.

Write out one thousand times …. ‘Loose talk costs lives and my country no
longer needs me.’

But don’t post them on here ……

Leave them next to your Cuddle Cat on the bed or on the high shelf or next
to the outfit that I ususally wear when I have a day out at the morgue …… And
I will check them for spelling mistakes when I have finished amending the
CEOPS manual for Uncle Gordie’s All New Police Force For Children …..

Saul January 8, 2009 at 01:22

I have thrown all the stuff in my fridge with E numbers away. The door has
been left open and is now my only means of illumination.

coco January 8, 2009 at 00:41

Bugger! I have got mercury on my fingers now …….. The killer-watt bulb must
have been leaking.

Will I be OK or will I die from this?

I am fading away …….. fading away …….. I have licked the mercury ……. Will
it be a painful death? …………………………….

coco January 7, 2009 at 22:41

I have just put a killer-watt bulb in a lamp – and the fucking thing
doesn’t even look lit …… It has been warming up for over half an hour ……

Ch January 6, 2009 at 23:06

On a serious note: yes! it’s energy saving time for them, but we won’t get
the “cosy” light we want AND 10 years from now an enormous amount of hazardous
poisonous waste will be piling up, when the “energy saving” lamps die. Will
they ever think ahead?

coco January 6, 2009 at 22:16

It’s chemical fuckin’ war-fare against civilians.

They can’t put germs in the water anymore because Greenpeace will be tying
themselves to the oil-rigs and nuclear power stations.

So instead of contaminating the water supplies – they get to us through our
lighting.

It’s scandalous …… but how else can they see us all off?

They would be doing this to all the African nations if they could ……..

I’ve just sent a message to Gordie.

I said – Get the lads out of Iraq and send some light-bulbs instead!

coco January 6, 2009 at 22:04

Saul! I thought I told you not to get out of bed when I am at the bottom of
the garden ……. having my dinner and …… maybe the odd glass of wine ……. with a
few friends I met on holiday! Have you fed the doggies? I have left a tin of
cadaver odour half-open on the top-shelf behind my CEOPS manual …… just to
keep them on alert and lively.

annaraccoon January 6, 2009 at 21:16

Saul just pointed me to this link in The Daily Mail.

Here

Energy-saving light bulbs are so dangerous that everyone must leave the
room for at least 15 minutes if one falls to the floor and breaks, a
Government department warned yesterday.

The startling alert came as health experts also warned that toxic mercury
inside the bulbs can aggravate a range of problems including migraines and
dizziness.

And a leading dermatologist said tens of thousands of people with skin
complaints will find it hard to tolerate being near the bulbs as they cause
conditions such as eczema to flare up.

The Department for Environment warned shards of glass from broken bulbs
should not be vacuumed up but instead swept away by someone wearing rubber
gloves to protect them from the bulb’s mercury content.

In addition, it said care should be taken not to inhale any dust and the
broken pieces should be put in a sealed plastic bag for disposal at a council
dump ? not a normal household bin.

Saul January 6, 2009 at 21:01

Just ban Blackpool, period.

coco January 6, 2009 at 20:53

How bloody fucking dare they banish my favourite wattage light-bulbs!

The drawing room is full of 40 watts and 60 watts – and it hides the dust
that the cleaner didn’t remove.

The entrance to the house has a few 25 watts of rosy-glows to make visitors
feel welcome – but what about the bloody kitchen and the study?

Answer me that EU! How can I ensure that my pies have that home-cooked,
golden bronze healthy appeal?

How can I read my novels late at night when I am in bed trying to keep warm
because my home-energy advisor has told me to turn the heating down by 15
degrees – to save the planet?

It’s fucking scandalous! Let’s try switching all the lights out on Park
Lane and Bond Street in London right now and keeping them off until further
notice!

Tell Harrods to switch all their fucking lights out and go onto 40 watts
bulbs – especially in the show-rooms upstairs where they sell the diamond
jewellery.

And ban the fucking Blackpool Lights display. What a waste of money and
energy that is …… apart from the fact that it gets all the Half-Wits and Chavs
into one place during the Winter months ….. should we ever need to round them
up and bring back slavery!