Pedestrianise the Olympic Zil Lanes
The gents and ladies from the Olympic 5 Ring Circus have been kind enough to force our Government to pass laws to allow the 80,000 members of the Olympic ”family’ (any from Sicily, we wonder?) to have a network of Zil Lanes throughout London.
As Christian Wolmar put it:
London, though, is blessed with an excellent public transport system that could easily accommodate most of the ‘family’. However, as part of the Olympic bid, Coe and his mates declared that Stratford was only 25 minutes from the swanky hotels of Park Lane, forgetting to mention that the distance could be covered in this time only by breaking the speed limit and never stopping at a red light.
So guess, what? Not only will the ‘family’ have access to Zil lanes, but the even less equal among them, the elite in the 240 chauffeur-driven BMW limousines specially reserved for the ultra VIPs, will find their cars have been fitted, at a cost to the taxpayer of £12 million, with sensors that quite literally turn the lights from red to green.
Meanwhile, ordinary motorists and cyclists who mistakenly wander into a Zil lane will be spotted on CCTV and find themselves liable to a fixed penalty of £200.
Now it emerges, via Anthony Barnett (who is a very young looking 70) and Dispatches, that people crossing palms with enough silver are also able to use the Olympic Route Network:
At Thomas Cook’s Office’s our reporters met Pete Moore, Head of Olympic Trip Packages at Iluka – their partner company responsible for selling Olympic packages.
Moore describes a package available which contained tickets to the men’s 100m final.
“That evening they would have 100m final AA Category tickets…”You’re going to be able to wipe Usain Bolt’s brow with those”, he says.
Moore later sent over an outline of a six-night package that include tickets for the 100m final, some cycling and other sought after events. Thomas Cook’s price for this was nearly £20,000 per person including accommodation, food and transport. The package was for a group of 23 people with a grand total of £450,708.
Moore also described how our prospective wealthy clients could buy access to the lanes as part of a package
“We have accredited coaches which will travel on the Olympic route network and dedicated drop off and pick up points at the venues”, he says.
I have a suggestion.
Since they are our roads which are being so kindly cleared for the duration, and there has been no move to ban people on foot, we should simply treat the lot as pedestrianised for the 6 weeks or so when they are being cordoned off from hoi polloi on wheels.
There’s at least one fly in the ointment here – and that is that, like Russia, the Zil Lanes have a habit of being placed in the Centre of the road, not by the pavement.
But I think that some time during the Olympics I will feel an artistic inspiration to take a series of panoramic photographs from points in the carriageway which are normally denied to me, at perhaps 10 minutes a time.
The Olympic Delivery Authority (ODA – read as Odour) has been cracking small nuts with a legal sledgehammer for some time now, which was delightfully returned with knobs on, so they perhaps deserve a few spanners in the works.
What could be sweeter or more appropriate?
- Photographer in Traffic
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1
February 17, 2012 at 15:44 -
Sorry Matt, but there’s already a law that stops camera trolls from blocking the Zil lanes. Obstructing the Queen’s highway: not only Phil the Greek’s favourite position, but also a criminal offence.
Back to the drawing board on this one I’m afraid.
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February 17, 2012 at 15:52 -
I think you’d get lifted pretty quickly – in both senses of the word.
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February 17, 2012 at 16:16 -
It has to be done. Reclaim OUR roads from these parasites.
http://captainranty.blogspot.com/2012/02/were-coming-for-you.html
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February 17, 2012 at 17:07 -
Stock up on caltrops now.
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February 17, 2012 at 17:55 -
Right enough about the ODA being heavy handed. Remember one of the benefits of the olympics juggernaut was encouraging grass roots sport? Spare a thought for a town’s long established annual charity sports day. A stern letter from the ODA ordered them to remove the word Olympics from its title, the Potters Bar Olympics.
Funny sort of encouragement. -
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February 17, 2012 at 18:03 -
Never heard of a Zil lane before.
The only issue I have is tax’s are being spent on the scheme. If you want to ride in a Zil lane then the cars should be charged to recover all costs plus a very healthy profit margin.
I really don’t get this socialist argument. FFS lefties complain that rich people are evil and should be removed of their money, so whats wrong with fleecing them to use a Zil lane? Has no-one ever heard of the term “whale”.
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February 17, 2012 at 18:22 -
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February 17, 2012 at 18:42 -
“whale”
A gambling term meaning a high roller with a lot of money (hopefully to lose).
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February 17, 2012 at 18:51
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February 17, 2012 at 19:19 -
I have to say that is the best suggestion I’ve read about these zil lanes. Not sure about pedestrianising, but certainly enforcing it as a cycle lane for the event.
Let’s see those lazy fuckers in the IOC setting an example and getting fit by cycling to the games. With a bit of luck Sepp Blatter will keel over before he reaches Monument.
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February 17, 2012 at 20:36 -
Who is the particular chair polishing bastard that authorised this bollocks ? Is there any legal basis for these Zil lanes or was it just authorised by some drone in an office ‘ because he can ‘ ?
And this Olympic family has 80 000 members ? Yeah, I bet it does. The good folk of London who actually pay for the roads will have to sit in jams watching, as corporate and political filth from around the globe with their attendant bumboys and whores roar past, waved through by London`s finest.
And as for the hop skip and jump merchants competing in this load of old bollocks, can`t they jog to the arena ? It would be good training for them.
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February 17, 2012 at 21:29 -
I’m more worried about how the re-designs have been funded. London black cab drivers I know have told me London Boroughs have been paying for road improvements for the past two years or so which benefit the ORN and passage to the games for VIPs, but which have not been funded in any way by the Olympic budget. So not only are Londoners not allowed to use the lanes, a fair amount of the work to install them may have been paid by locals who will have to suffer the traffic.
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February 17, 2012 at 21:55 -
Hands up those that think they are only for the olympics.
This is a labour politicians wet dream – they can be like their old soviet idols. Some idiot will say, after the fun and games, that having these special lanes made it easy for certain people to get around town therefore they should be extended. If red Ken becomes the next mayor then they will be – just wait and see.
The whole idea was conceived by left liberals with the general idea of keeping everyone else in their place. No thought was given to how the country would look to those on the outside.
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February 18, 2012 at 11:49 -
” London, though, is blessed with an excellent public transport system ”
Oh, that’s nice. Have they had a new one built in the last 5 years since I was there?
The old one was dirty, smelly, noisy, overcrowded, underfunded, very expensive, dangerous and run down.
I said at the time that they should get a new one.
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February 18, 2012 at 14:28
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February 18, 2012 at 14:28 -
“The old one was dirty, smelly, noisy, overcrowded, underfunded, very expensive, dangerous and run down.”
Actually, causing trouble, most of that sounds like the Londoners not the Underground.
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February 18, 2012 at 15:56 -
Um. Sepp Blatter is FIFA boss not the Olympics boss.
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February 18, 2012 at 19:03 -
You will all be reported to the Stazi, for these outrageous words– your freedoom will so come to an end ( unless your Harry or Huhnatic)
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February 18, 2012 at 20:58 -
I think I may ride my bike along them as they are likley to be empty most of the time
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February 19, 2012 at 04:29
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February 19, 2012 at 13:20 -
“We are all equal, but some are more equal than others.”
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February 19, 2012 at 22:24 -
Best idea I’ve heard to date is to cycle (slowly) along them. If enough people do it at the same time we can block the lanes & it will difficult to issue £200 fines to un-numbered bikes.
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