If finding a compliant female who does your bidding exactly to your requirements is your goal in life – (Ed: then you are on the wrong blog for a start) I may have just the woman for you.

Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro has just introduced her to an expectant world.

She can do ‘sly grins’, ‘angry glares’ (anyone masochistic enough to programme her to do that?) and totally fake smiles.

“Her rubberised face has a rather insane amount of flexibility, enabling it to pull off

(Ed: I think you missed off the end of that sentence Ms Raccoon)

She will cost you a mere £70,000 for a lifetime’s rubberised compliance.

So far she has been tested in hospitals, where patients apparently found her presence reassuring – they probably thought she was about to finally get them a bed pan.

Rumours that the Labour party have used the remainder of the Unite funds to order 40 million of them for delivery before the expected May 6^th election are probably unfounded – the Lord of All He Surveys has assured us that no more than 70,000 will be required in key marginal seats to deliver the outcome that hard working British families least deserve.

The savings thus generated from the original over calculation will be applied to updating the Harman model to reflect the ‘multi-cultural expectations in robotic monsters’ of the population.

1
Joe Public April 5, 2010 at 14:13

For the very rich, some would argue it’s less-expensive than a divorce settlement.

2
Thaddeus J. Wilson April 5, 2010 at 14:51

“(Ed: then you are on the wrong blog for a start)”

Speaking as an Ed, if not the Ed, I suppose this means I shall have to resign.

3
Demetrius April 5, 2010 at 15:13

But can she skin rabbits and muck out the chicken coop?

4
Anna Raccoon April 5, 2010 at 15:16

Demetrius,
Those who have unatural demands to make of their ship board comforts may have to wait for a later model, I wil grant you.

5
Chuckles April 5, 2010 at 15:58

There is an off switch?

6
Thaddeus J. Wilson April 5, 2010 at 16:15

Joe Public, it’s cheaper for absolutely everyone!

7
binlid April 5, 2010 at 17:19

…and the male version is available when?

8
Ancient and Tattered Airman April 5, 2010 at 18:17

Realistic? Getting closer, but no cigar just yet.

9
BTS April 5, 2010 at 18:45

I’d miss the puncture repair kit.

It just wouldn’t feel like a Saturday night without a puncture repair kit..

10
Get yer strides on, yer nicked April 5, 2010 at 19:53

Is there a chance we blogosphere ressidents could have a whip round to raise enough cash to buy a few of these in “Gene Hunt” format and send them to arrest all of the traitors in parliament?

11
lenko April 5, 2010 at 21:21

@ Chuckles… Off switch AND a volume control knob too.

I’m convinced I used to work with one of these.

12
T. P. Fuller April 5, 2010 at 21:44

Impressive work. They even gave her the original’s hint of a tache. Not as impressive yet, though, as the product line of the Great Magnet. The robot lady probably has 12V batteries; the real version can run for hours on a bowl of noodles. How cool is that?

13
Ed P April 5, 2010 at 21:58

Stop the Ed jokes!

14
Gloria Smudd April 5, 2010 at 22:06

Not giving you an ‘Edache are they, Ed P?

15
Tractor Stats Automated April 5, 2010 at 23:50

So that’s where Gordon bought Sarah.

16
Sabot April 6, 2010 at 07:00

And there’s me thinking that Mandleson bought both of them.

17
Majic April 6, 2010 at 12:58

LOL at BTS – you always forget to take your spurs off too huh ?

Aside from the fact that she looks pleasant enough, I just find these sort of things rather creepy. Is there some manual somewhere that dictates that all robots should evolve into human look a likes ? If so, have these people not watched Blade Runner and the sort of problems inherent with such robots.

Oh actually Daryl Hannah, ok so some robots that look like Daryl Hannah I could be sold on but I would need some guarantee on the puncture returns policy