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Category Archives: Vintage Anna – Personal

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The Ship of Fools motors on…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on September 9, 2015

No we didn’t put the sails up.

You can’t put up the sails when the wind is coming from the opposite direction to the one you have a pre-arranged appointment with – the wind would

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The Ship of Fools motors back again…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on September 9, 2015

Mrs Relentlessly Cheerful wore her broadest grin. ‘Sleep well?’ Her head tipped from top to bottom in that nodding motion employed by amateur psychologists which is supposed to get you to nod in

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The Ship of Fools.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on September 8, 2015

Christopher Rudd was a Kent school teacher, grandson of the famous Cape merchant and adventurer Charles Rudd, who also took his pupils out to sea in a dinghy to teach them the art of seamanship. Sadly, he

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The Ship of Fools motors on…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on September 8, 2015

No we didn’t put the sails up. You can’t put up the sails when the wind is coming from the opposite direction to the one you have a pre-arranged appointment with – the wind

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The Ship of Fools.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on September 6, 2015

Christopher Rudd was a Kent school teacher, grandson of the famous Cape merchant and adventurer Charles Rudd, who also took his pupils out to sea in a dinghy to teach them the art

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Stop Your Sobbing

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Petunia Winegum on September 2, 2015

Rape and culture/rape and culture/go together like a…well, those two words don’t really go together at all, do they? An oxymoron is, I believe, the correct term. Culture is described by the dictionary I prepared earlier as

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Parish Notice.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on August 16, 2015

Ms Raccoon duly attended her quarterly interview with the oncologist on Friday; delighted to tell you that you will have to put up with me for longer than predicted – it seems the Letrozole is having some beneficial

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What about the Boyos?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on August 4, 2015

Amnesty International is as right-on, bleeding heart, liberal as it comes. Since 1961, when it was launched hand-in-glove with the caring souls at the Guardian, it has redefined colonialism by imposing the views of the Islington crowd on

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Something for the Weekend, Sir?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on July 17, 2015

I don’t believe that I have ever had work that recognised such a thing as the weekend. If I did, it was a long time ago. The idea that a Saturday or a Sunday is something profound, or

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You’ve Got Male

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Petunia Winegum on June 26, 2015

To the Choose Life shopping-list that opens ‘Trainspotting’, one could add subsequent creature comforts – choose an iPad, choose an iPhone, choose an Apple Watch, choose Twitter, choose Facebook, choose every bloody online appliance and gadget to

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How to pay your taxes without parting with a penny piece.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on June 23, 2015

E’en the grateful thanks of the nation ringing in your ears! That is surely good news for the millionaires currently marching in support of austerity or summit?

‘Tis true, you don’t have to part with a

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I shall dine on Mince and slices of Quince…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on June 21, 2015

For Ms Raccoon is putting to sea in a pea-green boat. Or maybe it’s not the boat that will be pea-green but Ms Raccoon. We shall see.

I have thrown caution to the wind, and signed up

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Stress Testing The NHS (Episode One).

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on June 14, 2015

Ms Raccoon has been your reporter-at-large for the past week, selflessly stress testing the NHS emergency procedures. It has not been a happy experience. I throughly dislike using a blog for a ‘poor me’ misery-memoir,

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Stress Testing The NHS (Episode Two).

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on June 14, 2015

Dear Ms Anna Dugdale,

I was admitted to your hospital last Sunday afternoon via ambulance – severely dehydrated, with acute abdominal pain, vomiting and sedated with morphine. Partly as a result of the

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Too Fast to Live; Too Young to Vote

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Petunia Winegum on June 11, 2015

I think I can say pretty confidently that if William Hague had been a pupil at the high school I attended, his return from the Conservative Party Conference in which he’d given a star turn would have

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If you go down to the woods tonight…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on June 9, 2015

Liverpool is an amazing place. Militant. Unbending. Not frightened to speak its mind. Especially the women. They are a terrifying breed.

What was that you said? Where was I born? Oh, Liverpool, since you ask. I

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Dying to be Dead?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on May 26, 2015

You’ve probably, hopefully, never had cause to visualise yourself asking a Doctor the proverbial ‘How long have I got’? question.

Chances are, if you had imagined the scenario, you got it

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May the Fourth be with You!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on May 4, 2015

90 years ago, the grocer’s wife gave birth to Margaret Hilda. Alfred and Beatrice, her parents, fed her on the food that was nearing the end of what would become known as its ‘sell by date’. She thrived.

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Up Close and Personal with the NHS.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on April 24, 2015

Ms Raccoon has been back studying the NHS at close quarters. What a fascinating animal it is.

It reminds me of Windows 8 for some obscure reason – a bulk package which drains the lifeblood out

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The 25 Hour News/Do You Remember The First Time?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Petunia Winegum on April 18, 2015


 

Whether or not any of you choose to participate come May 7, chances are you’ve participated in the past – perhaps when you were less cynical

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The 25 Hour News and You Decide…

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Petunia Winegum on March 27, 2015


OK, it’s the question on everyone’s lips, the most important news item of the week bar none, the issue galvanising the nation into making a crucial choice that will affect

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Say you Want a Revolution… you Know we all wanna Change the World

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on February 27, 2015

How do you get a revolution in the UK? The Sex Pistols thought Anarchy might work but that got them no further than Joseph Conrad had long ago predicted.

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Someone’s Looking at You

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Petunia Winegum on February 10, 2015

Zirndorf is a seemingly nondescript German village on the outskirts of Nuremberg; in the foreboding shadow of a city that owes its location on the map of European history to grandiose public pronouncements of Aryan supremacy, Zirndorf is probably

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Innocent until Proven Dead; and the secrets you will never know.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 26, 2015

In this age of Internet trial, the dead are truly Damned. The slurping sound you can hear on the cyber waves is the sound of a thousand career conspiracy theorists licking their lips at the thought of

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Hotel California!

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on January 18, 2015

Life has changed dramatically for Mr G and Ms Raccoon over the past few weeks.

Last night, after much debate, we decided that since it is patently obvious Ms Raccoon will not be off on her travels

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Essence of Anglia.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on December 17, 2014

I had not thought that I should ever suffer from homesickness. Not once seven years had passed since I left home – and certainly not after I returned. But I have.

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The Last Taboo.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on December 3, 2014

I don’t ‘do’ taboos; neither does my imaginary friend. Have you met my imaginary friend? She’s called ‘Contraria’; she starts every sentence with ‘On the other hand’, or ‘Looked at a different way’ – and I have lots of

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The Finale – part two.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on December 1, 2014

As it happens, Duncroft was the last of the plates to come to rest – over the last five weeks, I also had to move house, move country – and move

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Sandwich Bored?

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on November 19, 2014

How long does it take you to open the fridge, scrape up some ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter’ and apply it to two pieces of bread? A minute? Less than a minute? You’ve still got time to

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Thoroughly Modern Millie.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on November 18, 2014

Women set-to cleaning up Berlin after the men have finished playing.

I was in Amiens recently. Just a few days before the 100th anniversary of Armistice Day.

I thought I knew a fair bit

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