How to pay your taxes without parting with a penny piece.

E’en the grateful thanks of the nation ringing in your ears! That is surely good news for the millionaires currently marching in support of austerity or summit? ‘Tis true, you don’t have to part with a penny. Anyone can do it. Wear flat shoes if you would; up to the attic with you. Open up […]

June 23, 2015

Lenin and McCarthy

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We all know some people who talk bollocks the moment their mouth opens; the likelihood is the speaker is probably the only person in the room unaware of this fact, which is why they keep talking bollocks. A kind soul might have a quiet word in their ear and advise them to shut up, but […]

June 22, 2015

I shall dine on Mince and slices of Quince…

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For Ms Raccoon is putting to sea in a pea-green boat. Or maybe it’s not the boat that will be pea-green but Ms Raccoon. We shall see. I have thrown caution to the wind, and signed up to crew on the Lord Nelson, a 55 metre square rigged ‘tall ship’, that has just returned from the […]

June 21, 2015

Not in Front of the Children (4)/25 Hour News

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We started with sex and – surprise, surprise – here we go again. Race and disability can take a back seat; when it comes to Percy Filth, we Brits excel like few others. Yet, this week’s word is perhaps more common across the pond and probably emanates from Ancient Greek. It’s a tragedy. MOTHERFUCKER As […]

June 20, 2015

Equality of Gender.

Did you know that a thumping 50% of those who enter the Family courts emerge ‘deeply dissatisfied’, ’emotionally traumatised’ and ‘cynical about our Justice system’. Some of the 50% could even be accurately described as ‘hysterical’ and ‘paranoid’. The majority of the 50% are men. There is a profound truth which lies behind these headline statistics. The most […]

June 19, 2015

Diction-Wary Corner

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Surprise! Surprise! A new survey has revealed that hopeful candidates for the top jobs tend to be judged on their appearance, their speech and – most shocking of all – which school and university they attended; caught me by surprise, this news, as did its helpful response. Since when have different rules ever applied for […]

June 18, 2015

Normal for Norfolk?

Flat, boring, Norfolk – that’s the cliché. Occasionally you may find a trendy metro-land media type describing the ‘wide open skies’, ‘amazing vistas’ and ‘sense of time stood still’ before extolling the bargain basement price that they purchased a ‘dear little’ pied-à-terre for, from a cash strapped yokel. Further to the west of the county there are […]

June 17, 2015

Precedent Carta

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‘The good name of human rights has sometimes become distorted and devalued,’ says David Cameron as he takes to the Runnymede podium, standing not only in the shadows of John the King and John the President, but also a one-time school for ‘disturbed girls’ that has retrospectively presented a considerable challenge to the liberties of […]

June 16, 2015

Miner Versus Minor

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Those of us who are old enough watched it on TV just hours after it happened; footage has been shown repeatedly in the years since. This footage constitutes what used to be known as evidence. It’s pretty indisputable because it was recorded on videotape there and then. As for the bits that weren’t captured on […]

June 15, 2015

Stress Testing The NHS (Episode Two).

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Dear Ms Anna Dugdale, I was admitted to your hospital last Sunday afternoon via ambulance – severely dehydrated, with acute abdominal pain, vomiting and sedated with morphine. Partly as a result of the previous 24 hours which is not your concern. What happened thereafter IS your concern, and you should be concerned. I had had the […]

June 14, 2015